Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Even amidst my busiest weeks, it’s always worth taking the time to stop and read the newest missive from the League. Hope you all enjoy it as much as I do every week...
Howdy, comic fans, Cormorant here! It’s a mainstream-ish week for the @$$holes, but don’t hold that against us. Jon Quixote gives INCREDIBLE HULK a well-deserved ass-kicking, Superninja and I risk triggering the End Times by reviewing two issues of X-MEN UNLIMITED in the same column, Village Idiot serves up a rare critical review of THE FLASH, two Marvel Tsunami books – RUNAWAYS and THE HUMAN TORCH – are reviewed by Quixote and Buzz, respectively, and the role of Lizzybeth is played by The Comedian in his review of the artsy new Vertigo book BEWARE THE CREEPER. Rounding out the column is archivist Vroom Socko’s fond memory of the forgotten Dark Horse miniseries, THE CURSE OF DRACULA, courtesy of his latest installment of “Tales From the Crevice”. What the hell more could a TalkBack audience want? New reviews of THE ULTIMATES? Hey, tell it to Bryan Hitch…
INCREDIBLE HULK #52
Written by Bruce Jones
Art by Mike Deodato Jr.
Published by Marvel Comics
A Jon Quixote Review
YOU WOULDN’T LIKE ME WHEN I’M ANGRY
Let’s get this out of the way. I am sad to write this review. I thought the “new” direction for the Hulk was a great idea. To incorporate elements of the beloved television show and to use a Bruce-the-Shark approach to depicting the Hulk were excellent ideas. Even if they weren’t, this is not about premise.
This is about execution. And The Incredible Hulk is now a God-awful comic book. It is irritating and inane and incompetent and at least a half dozen other I-words, the best being inexcusable. About as inexcusable as I can imagine a professional comic book being.
Let’s review:
THE CLIFFHANGER
The last issue ended on a cliffhanger. The Hulk confronting the woman who had just drugged and betrayed his alter ego. The payoff: zero. The Hulk grabs her, sniffs her and the next thing you know he’s back as Bruce Banner, dozing outside. What the hell? Was there some random Hulk quota that I wasn’t aware about? A memo from Quesada? “Jesus, Jones, the fans are pretty pissed over that double-sized issue we dinged them for where half the pages were devoted to showing the bad guys walking to the other bad guy. Throw the green guy in for a couple panels, wouldja?”
It’s a false cliffhanger, more wasted pages for what is already the most horribly paced comic in the Marvel stable. An arbitrary occurrence that had nothing to do with the plot, and was designed to do nothing but dupe the audience into buying the next issue.
That’s irritating.
THE CONSPIRACY
Here’s a story that just came off a conspiracy so thick that it required an entire issue of a bad guy explaining what had been happening for the past year. Of course, it still didn’t resolve anything, so the conspiracy continues.
I don’t know who anybody here is. I don’t know the motivation for their actions or what side anybody’s on. Where they come from? What they’re doing? What their fucking names are? That’s okay for a while, as long as information is flowing forth, questions are being answered, and the secrets are there for a reason. But more and more “mystery” is being piled on this already convoluted premise, and new faces are showing up for what seems to be the sole purpose of adding to the aura of confusion. It’s like I’m in TV Hell and all the channels are showing the final episode of X-Files.
And the manner in which this “conspiracy” is progressing? Faceless black-op non-personalities wandering through a town, walking into establishments where the employees just happen to be other faceless black-op non-personalities whose only characterization seems to be a preternatural ability to choose their cover identities (don’t worry 99, once the Kaos agent kills all these people, he’ll walk right the bar where you’ll be working as a waitress.).
That’s inane.
THE PROTAGONIST
Hey, remember when Bruce Banner actually used to be smarter than the Hulk? When it would take more than a piece of ass for him to not see through a woman who walks into the shower to GIVE HIM A PILL? C’mon, Jones! You’re imaginative enough to create an entire town where half the residents seem to be secret agents operating in deep cover and you can’t come up with a way to drug Banner without turning him into a complete, utter retard? And then have him tell all his secrets to this girl he just met, when he woke up outside, dazed, after she fed him a pill? Doesn’t he read Daredevil?
Even if, in the future, Jones comes up with a magical explanation for Bruce’s sudden bout of moronitis, it’s too late. To turn a long-standing character like Bruce Banner, a character who for over 40 years has been defined by his intelligence and level-headedness, into such a complete idiot for this long, a switch like that would come across as contrived and hollow. No, what Jones is doing is having his characters act dumb – and not just dumb, but out-of-character dumb – simply because it’s the easiest way for him to advance his poorly thought-out plot. It’s the telltale sign of a hack – it shows up in movies all the time, where characters are too stupid to go to the police or tell the truth simply because it would wrap up the story too quickly.
That’s incompetent.
THE STORY
Banner, our main character, starts the issue drugged. He ends the issue drugged. In 22 pages the only thing he actually does is wake up and provide some exposition (although pity the poor sod who walks into the middle of this ‘arc’).
Those ads that hyped the Return of the Abomination? He’s still in his cell, waiting, doing nothing. The femme fatale Nadia? She’s still somewhat reluctantly carrying on her mission, whatever that may be.
No, the action in the story is carried out by one of those faceless non-characters. This non-character started the issue with a computer disk. He fights another non-character, kills him, and at the end of the comic, still has the disk. In between, we learn that the disk contains footage of a face transplant.
So Bruce is still stuck in the status quo established in the last issue. The Abomination hasn’t done anything. Nadia hasn’t done anything. And the MacGuffin is still in the hands of the person who had it at the beginning of the story. In 22 pages, all we really learn is that someone had a face transplant. Oh and that the identity of Mr. Blue might be revealed in the next issue (but don’t hold your breath – we’ve just established Mr. Jones’s track record on cliffhangers). So other than a tiny tidbit of information that really doesn’t mean much to us yet, we’ve just experienced 22 pages of treading water.
That’s inexcusable.
Shame on Bruce Jones for pulling this shit. Shame on him for picking our pockets like this. Shame on Marvel for letting him get away with it. And shame on anybody who recognizes this shit for what it is and still buys the next issue. If anyone thinks I’m going to stick around…
That’s fucking insane.
I liked the art.
BEWARE THE CREEPER
Written by Jason Hall
Illustrated by Cliff Chiang
Review by The Comedian
Paris in the 1920’s. “The Jazz Age”. Members of the post-World War I, disillusioned “lost generation” spend their days in sidewalk cafes discussing cultural and artistic trends and their nights in reckless alcohol fueled abandon. A beautiful, charismatic, gamin hops and bops her way through this hollow existence while two men - one a brooding, cynical doormat and the other, a spoiled, possessive and childish clod - wallow in their unrequited love for her.
Those of you who didn’t sleep through 11th grade English may remember a little ditty of a book by some guy name Ernest Hemmingway titled The Sun Also Rises with these exact themes and character types. But it’s okay if you don’t because Jason Hall and Cliff Chiang have whipped up these groovy four-color Cliff Notes for you. And if you’re still having trouble, Poppa himself makes an appearance about halfway thru just to beat you over the head and tell you what a cultureless gorilla you are. Plus there’s superhero stuff!
BEWARE THE CREEPER starts off with the introduction of Judith and Madeline. Two beautiful twin orphans in their mid-20’s living it up in Paris at the height of the Jazz age. Judith is the witty, extroverted artist type who every man desires but no one man can ever possess. She wants to be a surrealist painter but that’s more or less just an extension of her exhibitionist personality. Madeline is (of course) the mousy, conservative opposite of Judith. So, basically it’s Lady Brett Ashley with a mousy twin sister. We’re also introduced to Inspector Allain, Judith’s sometimes boyfriend who mostly just broods around while she flirts with everyone (he’s Jake sans the erectile disfunction and he’s a cop, not a writer). Then there’s Mathieu Aborgast - he’s rich, obnoxious and he tries way too hard (He’s Robert Kohn without all the Jewish outsider angst). Now take out the trip to Spain and substitute it with a rape scene and subsequent revenge scenario and you’ve got the first issue of this Vertigo mini. Jack Ryder, alter ego to the classic Creeper character, is nowhere to be seen; honestly I don’t miss him all that much.
Seriously, snide remarks aside I really enjoyed BEWARE THE CREEPER. It’s obvious homage to Hemmingway’s masterpiece is endearing at times and never feels too limiting. Except of course for that stupid cameo they give him at the party. L-A-M-E. That walk-on was the worst kind of overkill and almost soured me to this issue. Kinda like when Millar actually had Nick Fury say that Sam Jackson should play him in the Ultimates movie. All that said, I still dig it for what it is and I'm there for the rest of the mini. The writing is sharp, the characters are just as engaging as their paperback counterparts, and they'll probably take it in a completely different direction next issue. Chiang's art is cool too. And in this day and age of complete unoriginality and derivativeness in comics I find this none-too-subtle homage more engaging and clever than the usual bastard stepchild of the high concept pitch we’ve been reading in other relaunches.
THE FLASH #197
Geoff Johns – Writer
Scott Kolins – Penciller
Doug Hazlewood – Inker
James Sinclair – Colorist and Separator
Published by DC Comics
Reviewed by Village Idiot
This review contains ridiculously MAJOR SPOILERS.
The cover to THE FLASH #197 is absolutely outstanding. Flash’s evil doppelganger, Professor Zoom, the Reverse Flash, is running straight at us – and he’s really pissed off. Really. Zoom is coming at us with such malevolent intensity, his mouth in a down-turned, teeth-gritted rage, it’s almost a little scary.
The cover is a terrific element of THE FLASH #197, a book with many terrific elements. You can tell that writer Geoff Johns took the time to try to craft something clever and meaningful with the book; a tale that is not only an in-depth origin story, but the re-introduction of a fan-favorite super-villain. And yet despite all the wonderful touches, the entire story in THE FLASH #197 hangs on a pivotal character transition that I simply could not buy. This was a mortal blow, and consequently, the book left me disappointed.
This transition comes when super-villain profiler and regular FLASH supporting cast-member Hunter Zolomon decides to pick up the mantle of the nefarious Zoom. Internet fans of THE FLASH have known that Zoom was returning for quite some time now, with Geoff Johns adding to the fun by telling everyone that the identity of Zoom would be a big surprise. However, for Zolomon to become Zoom is not a surprise at all; in fact, the story seems to have been headed in this direction for months, making this issue one of the most telegraphed punches in the history of comics. I assumed that whatever the story may have lost in surprise, Johns would make up for in elegance. Well, that didn’t exactly happen either. The key motivation for Zolomon/Zoom is to “Teach Flash the true meaning of tragedy,” a mission that sounds super-villain-ish enough, but as executed, it just wasn’t believable. This despite the fact that Johns spends the entire issue trying to convince us of the believability, making the case for Zolomon’s metamorphosis.
The issue reveals that Zolomon has not had a smooth life. I suppose one could even go so far as to call it tragic: family members die, loves are lost, hubris begets ruin. Along the way, these elements are presented entertainingly enough, with some nice character detail. But although there was tragedy, there was a surprising lack of pathos. I didn’t feel Zolomon’s tragedy in a manner where his change would have made sense, or at least felt satisfying. So too with Zolomon’s resentment of the Flash: we can identify his resentment with Wally’s refusal to change history for him, but the level of anger and how it plays out (i.e., “teaching the meaning of tragedy”) reads as a little forced. Of course, Johns is clever enough to cover any strained credibility issues by factoring in the madness brought on by the effects of Zolomon’s new powers. But still, with the final emotional logic of the story weaker than they should have been, Zolomon’s epiphany lacked the power it could have had, and by all rights should have had, and the crescendo of Zoom’s rebirth didn’t pull off as well as I’d hoped.
And yet there were still plenty of terrific elements in there anyway. Regardless of Zolomon’s dubious transition to Zoom, his story was still believable on its own terms, and interesting. Johns also frames the story with an ingenious gimmick having to do with how comic book speedsters experience time; very neat. Johns also orchestrates some very clever scene transitions. And of course, the combination of Scott Kolins, Doug Hazlewood, and James Sinclair always manages to serve up great visuals. Zolomon’s memories are in a monochromatic wash of amber, and some of the panel information and detail ends up lost on the casual read; but the rest of the issue looks a beautiful as ever. And for my money, NOBODY does a splash page like these guys; this time the devastated area around the Flash Museum in the wake of the Cosmic Treadmill’s explosion. (Although I do have to wonder about the sheer distance of the blast radius. I mean, it looks like it took out the whole freaking neighborhood.)
But again, the experience of the book as a whole was a bit disappointing. Geoff Johns can write an emotionally affecting super-villain origin story, and in fact, he already did it with THE FLASH #182, the now famous Captain Cold issue. THE FLASH #197 could have used something akin to that issue’s pathos, in fact, I’m almost sure that that’s what John’s may have been shooting for, but this time I’m afraid missed the target. However, THE FLASH as a series is so entertaining and worthwhile, the fact that an issue may misfire should not deter you from investigating Johns outstanding run, or even from jumping on with #197. There’s enough good stuff there to at least make for an interesting read, and the cover alone almost demands that you pick up this issue.
X-MEN UNLIMITED #44
Writer: Chuck Austen
Penciller: Rano Moelnaar
Inker: Danny Miki
Reviewed by superninja
The title of this month's issue is: "Do They Suffer?" It's in reference to the oft-debated argument surrounding animal rights. In the case of writer Chuck Austen, the answer is a definite "yes".
The issue kicks off with mutant student Sammy discovering some fish at the local swimming hole that have been decapitated. Their mutilated heads look a whole lot like cute little Sammy, who has the body of a boy and the head of a fish. Cain Marko, aka The Juggernaut, who has befriended Sammy, says, "Probably some local townies havin' fun…They're just a bunch of fish…" Cain ends up having to choke on his words, while Sammy storms off to the school to demand revenge for the killing of his "friends".
Sammy interrupts a meeting with the school staff (the X-Men proper), and asks Xavier to use his abilities to find the people responsible for the fish homicide. Xavier tells him he doesn't use his powers that way - it's an invasion of privacy. But then that argument somehow gets thrown out when the resident nurse Annie, and her son, bring in a bloodied dog that has been beaten to death. Jean (for the sole purpose of this story) reads the dying synapses of the dead dog's brain and proceeds to relive the last horrible moments of the animal's life, reducing her to tears and serious emotional distress. Maybe this wouldn't bother someone else, but I found it a little disturbing, as the dog's emotions are depicted with a human cognizance.
Also disturbing was the way the X-Men respond to the sadistic children perpetrators. Wolverine threatens them with bloody violence and then Jean makes them experience the suffering the animals they have tortured have experienced, because Cain doesn't understand that his "boys will be boys" logic doesn't cut the mustard. The boys seem more in awe of the mutants than afraid, but because Cain doesn't see the light, Cain and the rotten children experience mental torture to learn that torturing animals is wrong. Seems kinda circular, don't it?
The X-Men by nature of their mutant outcast origins are really ideal for tackling these kinds of issues. After all, the X-Men were in part a byproduct of the civil rights era and the fear and hatred surrounding the opposition of that movement and even the ongoing struggle for equality in our society. When it's done right (as in the graphic novel "God Loves, Man Kills"), it can draw compelling parallels. When it's done badly, it can come off as emotionally manipulative.
I think we can all agree that anyone that sadistically tortures anything - man, woman, child, animal - is not right in the head. I felt this issue was emotionally manipulative in an attempt to equate human suffering with that of animals. Animals deserve compassion and love, but they are not like us. So unless Mr. Austen is of the vegan/veggie variety, I’m hoping that the next time he has a steak, he will think of all the bovine-headed mutants out there mooing their outrage.
But the art was nice.
THE HUMAN TORCH # 1
Written by Karl Kesel
Art by Skottie Young
Published by Marvel
Reviewed by Buzz Maverik
I'm tempted to say, "Don't judge this (comic) book by its art", but how can art not be one of the major criteria for judging a comic book? Also, the art by Skottie Young is pretty good.
So let's get the manga crap out of the way here in the second paragraph, okay? HUMAN TORCH # 1 is one of the first of Marvel's Tsunami books to hit the shelves. As near as I can tell, Tsunami isn't an imprint or line. The word Tsunami doesn't appear anywhere on the cover or inside the book. Tsunami appears to be simply a marketing term, kind of like Operation Iraqi Freedom.
The point of these Tsunami books seems to be to draw manga fans to Marvel comics. Manga has a strong female fanbase, and this might be Marvel's way of increasing its female readership. Now, increasing female readership of comics -- increasing readership of comics in general -- is a smart thing for a comic book publisher to do, and we fans can only benefit.
But I'm not sure too many of the manga chicks who shop at my favorite comic shop will have much interest in Marvel superheroes however they may be presented. Marvel's problem whenever they do the new, in yo face, not yer Daddy's comic books is that all their new stuff is usually the same old stuff. Marvel Knights -- same old superheroes with 90% less action and 69.3% more moping. MAX -- same tired superheroes, but they get to say "Fuck" and get to have sex. The Ultimate Line -- not only do they have the same, tired old superheroes and teams, but they're retelling old stories. While I really like some of the books in these lines, Marvel very seldom ventures far away from the forty-plus year old characters created by a handful of Depression-era kids who saw combat in World War II.
It is standard form that for this new wave of edgy comics that two of the books center on versions of characters dating back to the days when Marvel was called Timely and Stan Lee and Jack Kirby were teenagers. In addition to HUMAN TORCH, a NAMOR book will be coming out. They need to put the Tsunami characters in their own, hip hop, up-to-the-moment manga-flavored super team with a modern name like THE ALL WINNERS SQUAD.
Enough about the concept, what about the book itself? The art isn't really manga. It looks more like animation, and it works. It captures the whole, droopy, vaguely unformed teenage anatomy, clothed in sags and R. Crumbesque shoes. It is realistic in the sense that most people are either blobs or beanpoles when they're the age that Johnny Storm and his schoolmates are in this book. The art is an impression of that reality and is more about how things feel than how they look.
The story, involving the Torch at high school trying to win a girl with a broken heart, was fine. I liked that Johnny's jock rival wasn't a bully. Kesel handled that character's hurt and insecurity well. And the great thing about Johnny Storm is he's the same character Stan and Jack created. Cocky, capable of being a jerk, extremely fearless and a real hot head. The only difference is that in this version he's wearing Fred Durst's wardrobe which means this book is going to become dated in three...two...one second.
Like I said, the story is fine ... which is exactly what I said when Image Comics put this book out as TECH JACKET, INVINCIBLE and FIREBREATHER a few months ago.
RUNAWAYS #1
Written by Brian K. Vaughan
Art by Adrian Alphona & David Newbold
Published by Marvel Comics
A href=mailto:jonquixote@hotmail.com> Jon Quixote Review
I wasn’t really looking forward to the “Tsunami” titles. It wasn’t that I was one of the detractors blindly attacking the books for…well, I don’t know what for. Rarely do I understand the venom that courses through the ethereal gossamer – unless, of course, it’s the prescient and reasoned venom that this particular critical spider injects from time to time. But the “Tsunami” line meant a whole bunch of new #1 issues, and I think the House of Ideas has forgotten how to put out a decent #1 issue. More often than not, it’s just set-up, set-up, set-up.
But Brian K. Vaughan was behind this one, so when we did @$$hole review-call last week, the first words out of my mouth were “I’ll do Runaways.”
The verdict: Set-up. Set-up. Set-up.
People dismiss this exposition as regular first-issue stuff. It doesn’t have to be that way, in fact, it shouldn’t. Look at Thunderbolts #1 for a textbook example of how to write a great premier issue. Or Sleeper #1. Or Vaughan’s own Y-The Last Man #1. But it seems as though New Marvel has made lackadaisical pacing and bloated, 4-panel pages almost mandatory.
My desire to write spoiler-free reviews prevents me from digging much deeper. The premise of the book is used as a “cliffhanger” ending and I don’t want to spoil it for anybody who hasn’t read the promotional blurb. I do think that if you have a book called “Runaways”, perhaps by the end of the first issue they should have ran away. If you had a television show called “Runaways” about a group of kids who runaway, I guarantee you by the end of the pilot they will have at least commenced running.
It is only through great force of talent and the fact that potential drips from this book like sweat from John Goodman at a hot wing buffet that I’m giving Runaways a positive review. I recommend it, but it’s a crime that I can’t gush over it.
Despite the awful pacing, it’s populated with interesting characters that ripple with multiple dimensions almost from the moment they’re introduced, with a great sense of humor and an interesting premise. It’s fun and fascinating and I do want to read more. Should I have expected less from Brian K. Vaughan?
No, but I do expect more from him; if I remember correctly, he has a background in film which should have taught him better storytelling fundamentals. Arc your issues, Brian. Make each one worth reading, a story unto itself. I could provide a list of character names and a brief summary of the last panel and that’s all a reader would need before picking up issue #2. Tsk tsk.
Luckily, I’m enamored with the premise and potential just enough to keep coming back for more. I smiled, I laughed, and I wanted to get to know all of the characters I met. Overall, the issue could have been better – much better – specifically, it could have made much better use of its space. But like I said, that’s becoming the norm, sort of like sex jokes in sit-coms. Eventually it’s so pervasive that you either stop watching prime time or you accept it. Smart and fun comics like Runaways that totally fall into that trap, but somehow still leave me wanting more, make it easier to accept it. But they also make me sad, for what might have been.
X-MEN UNLIMITED #43
Writers: “Keepsake” by Chris Claremont, “Lockheed the Dragon” by Steven Grant
Artists: “Keepsake” by Bill Sienkiewicz, “Lockheed the Dragon” by Paul Smith
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewed by Cormorant
Nostalgia fans, take note: the New Mutants, those multi-national teens whose book marked the first of what would become an infinite stream of X-Men spin-offs, will be back in their own book in a scant few weeks. I’m kinda interested. Apparently a selection of the old team (the girlies) will now be teaching students at Professor Xavier’s school. The artist’s work looks good, the writing team has been mined from the indies so the stories might have some bite, and the covers by Josh Middleton are cool enough that I made one of ‘em my desktop image for a week.
Now THE NEW MUTANTS is a series I compare to STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION – nowhere near as groundbreaking as their predecessors, but they succeeded in fits and starts, and I tried so hard to like ‘em that I managed to develop a fondness for the characters. And so it was that I was pleasantly surprised in flipping through the latest X-MEN UNLIMITED to find an opening story that’s a sort of last hurrah from series creator Chris Claremont before the relaunch gears up. Claremont’s work hasn’t been very readable for the past, oh, ten or fifteen years, having finally collapsed under the weight of his many idiosyncrasies, but the involvement of artist Bill Sienkiewicz – easily the most groundbreaking artist of the old series – made it a must-have. The short take? Still disappointing, but damned if I don’t still like the characters enough to be happy I bought the book.
The story’s a simple one, essentially an excuse to get the old group back together again (minus Warlock, Cypher, and Magick, still takin’ the dirt nap with no resurrection in sight). Rahne, the repressed Scottish girl who could turn into a werewolf, has had her necklace stolen by some goofy street thugs armed with bad dialogue (“Howzabout you share some wealth with the underclass?”). Since her powers seem to be gone, she takes a nasty blow to the head during the mugging, and one by one her old New Mutants pals show up to get back her necklace and scare the piss out of the bad-dialogue thugs. Did I mention that the necklace was given to Rahne by none other than the famed Scottish king of old, Robert the Bruce(!), whom you might remember as the guy who played second banana to Mel in BRAVEHEART? Seems Rahne met the guy during one of the New Mutants’ time-gallivanting adventures and was given the necklace in return for their aid. Corny? Sure, but hearing Rahne reminisce happily about the story to her amazed schoolmate (“Get out!”) actually made me long for the unfettered possibilities of superhero comics before Jemas and Quesada decided to strike “fantasy” from the Newspeak of their editorial guidelines. In fact, one of my favorite issues of NEW MUTANTS was the annual where the team was trapped in Asgard, home of the Norse frickin’ gods, and that’s about as out there as you can get. The pending relaunch might be good, but you just know that Marvel would never allow that kind of fun again. Tight-asses.
So Claremont’s new story is slight but nostalgic – howsabout the art? It’s funny, because this time Sienkiewicz is actually a little wonky even for me. I love stylists, but Sienkiewicz’s 80’s material, which seemed borderline abstract to me before I learned to appreciate it, was far more grounded in reality than his current style. There are some nice panels here and there, but I actually had to look at some of ‘em for a few seconds to decipher what was going on, and his overlapping panels made for some rough storytelling. Still, there’s no denying the thrill of seeing him draw Rahne’s cute carrot-top, Danielle Moonstar’s ethnic American Indian features, and the classic Sam Guthrie flattop.
This being a Claremont story, it naturally has to have several instances of speechifyin’ leading up to the characters finding a sense of renewal. It’s sad that it’s such a cliché, but at least it still feels heartfelt coming from Claremont. I thought it was interesting that the characters, while still fiercely loyal to each other, obviously don’t hang out anymore. It was also surprising to see that Roberto had followed in his father’s footsteps in becoming a successful businessman with no qualms about dealing with Mafia-types to furthers his own aims. Back in the day, Roberto would’ve done anything to avoid becoming like his father, a one-time member of the Hellfire Club, so this dark glimpse at his failure had some dramatic punch. Of course, these developments might’ve happened ten years ago for all I know, since I stopped reading NEW MUTANTS sometime around issue 40, but I still enjoyed this snapshot of how their lives have developed.
Final judgment: There’s a secondary story in the issue about Kitty Pryde’s dragon, Lockheed, but beyond featuring some nice art from X-Men alumnus Paul Smith, it’s unremarkable and shouldn’t enter into your mind in deciding whether or not to buy the thing. The New Mutants story is the clear draw, being as close to raw, uncut nostalgia as it gets. Next-generation Marvel fans looking for quick background on the team before the hep, new series starts might be interested, but really, this one’s for the old-schoolers, and judged as such, it’s pretty much an essential read.
TALES FROM THE CREVICE: BOOKS THAT FELL THROUGH THE CRACK
By Vroom Socko
For some reason it’s been over a month since we’ve reached into the Crevice and pulled out a good Tale. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your perspective,) I’m back this week. Since this column has now risen from the dead, why not use this week’s installment to promote a comic about the greatest character to ever do the same. That’s right, we’re doing a Dracula book. Not just any Dracula book, mind you. I’m talking about a Dracula book done by two legends in the business, Marv Wolfman and Gene Colan. Looking over it now, it’s amazing that they haven’t been able to follow it up since the conclusion five years ago.
No, that’s not a typo. Five years ago, the two men that not only rocked the pages of Tomb of Dracula, but also created the cinematic cash cow Blade re-teamed over at Dark Horse on a three-part mini called The Curse of Dracula. No, none of the characters from the Marvel book are used, but who really cares? This Dracula is suave, sophisticated, and oh so deadlier than the Marvel incarnation. Throw in art shot straight from Gene Colan’s pencils and you’ve got a horror comic that’s the perfect remedy for constipation.
The heroes of this book are quite the vicious bastards. In the first scene they hang a vampire from a lamppost, break his neck, then give him a choice. He can tell them the location of the area’s vampire nest, and they’ll cut his head off, killing him instantly. If he says nothing, they’ll wait for the sun to rise and watch his skin catch fire, his blood boil, and his brain explode. They end up waiting.
Dracula, meanwhile, is busy manipulating a presidential candidate. He’s also sleeping with the candidate’s wife, when he’s not out killing people for kicks. This Dracula is a sadist, but he’s also more power hungry, more manipulative than most versions you see on the comic page.
But the real star of this book is Gene Colan. This book has some of his freakiest art ever. The final page of part one is just harrowing. Picture if you will, an underground warehouse filled with people. Naked people. Hanging from meat hooks by their Achilles’ tendons. With IV tubes jammed into their necks, vampires sucking on them like beer bongs. Oh, and these people are still alive.
There are a shitload of images like that in this book, and all of them kick of the ass. This three-part series was intended to be the first of an ongoing collection of minis, but no follow-up occurred. To bad for us, but even one new story from the minds behind Tomb of Dracula is a definite bonus.
Question for Discussion
What comic has scared the crap out of you?
