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Published on Thursday, March 20, 2003 - 5:41am |
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UNDEAD Review
Tonight, rather than be subjected to the never-ending barrage of updates on the situation in Iraq, I decided to get together with a group of friends and do something American. Watch movies together and be excellent to one another.
The first film of the night was Best Foreign Language Film nominee, HERO… and second was a film that is of capital importance. Something pure and glorious. Something that every red-blooded geek and this world can come together and celebrate in the dark days of tomorrow. A… New… Great… Zombie… Movie….

From Australia they came.. The Brothers Spierig… All they want, are our BraaaIIIIiinnnnnSSSS!
The last great Zombie film was Peter Jackson’s DEAD ALIVE. And like Peter Jackson, the Spierig Brothers have decided to have fun with the genre. What sort of fun? Well, they’ve created an entire cause and effect for Zombie kind. There are rules, many additional rules that come with this universe. There’s Stormy clouds, acid rain, Zombies, lots of Zombies and other things. Things… well the sort of things you would expect walking into a Sam Raimi film. That sort of hyper holy fuck… well that’s all through this.
In fact watching this film, not only do you see traditional Zombie influences like Romero and Jackson and Fulci. But you see stylistic flourishes familiar to the works of Sam Raimi, Stuart Gordon, Tony Scott, Michael Bay and Robert Rodriguez. You can’t deny them, they’re there. Not take offs on their scenes or moments, but rather a style that simply reminds one of their work in pieces, but when taken as a whole… well, it is definitely the feeling all their own. The first Spierig Movie.
Now why is it so dang important that I talk about this film right now? Well, I just got an email dispatch from the Brothers Spierig in Australia that their first U.S. Distributor screening takes place this coming Tuesday, March 25th, 2003 in Beverly Hills, California. You studios looking for an absolutely killer horror film that will cause everyone to instantly add it to their collections… Look no further than UNDEAD. Very light hearted, very fun and completely surprising. To get into the screening to attempt to pick up the film, contact “Janine at The William Morris Agency” for details. YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS THIS!
Ok, now for the rest of us… Why does this film kick so much ass?
First you have MARION. A pansy name to be sure, the true name of John Wayne for fact, and a name of a new cult film badass. He looks like Grizzly Adams crossed with Gentle Ben. He wears overalls and a floppy hat that covers his fuzzy face in shadows. His voice has no treble in it at all. His voice… is the voice of DOOOOM. His actions are like those of a certain DESPERADO, you know like a HARD-BOILED… KILLER. Two fisted zombie shooting action. Innovative zombie kills. Now where would a cult villain be without an awe-inspiring weapon? Nowhere, that’s where.
We don’t worship Laurie Strode, because her weapon was a goddamn knitting needle. A frickin’ knitting needle. Now, Ash? That’s a fucking hero. He’s got a chainsaw arm and a big fucking boomstick! Sex Machine has a cock that cocks & blows you away! Reggie the Ice Cream Man has that damn cool shotgun that is super sawed off at way cool angles. The result, pretty friggin sweet. Cool weapons… well that’s why Jedi rule. Nothing beats a fucking light saber. Let’s face it, the American military is pretty intense… but one Jedi with a Light Saber… well, you know what would happen… It’s a light saber… 99% of our armed forces would throw their weapons down and bow before the light saber and beg said Jedi to hold it and help them become a Jedi. Next thing we know, there’s 248,000 converted Jedi worshipping soldiers following the dude with the Light Saber through the Iraqi sand dunes. Of course, Prince Talon and his tri-sword could whup that Jedi’s ass! Ahem. But the U.S. military would pounce him for it.
Well, what’s the ass-kicking weapon in this film? What weapon does a chubby Australian redneck fisherman unleash upon the undead? Take a look at the poster.

The bastard even wears SPURS for no apparent reason whatsoever, other than make that cool as hell sound and to aid in various zero g superculthero acrobatics. He’s been through a similar incident before. He knows the rules, he also knows he is the chosen one. The one that will lead a group to the promised land. He has been ridiculed as crazy for some time now, but when the shit hit the fan, crazy ol Marion is who had the shovel. Heh.
Now, the other absolutely important aspect of a Cult Zombie movie is that it needs to be done for next to no money. Take years to make. And be creative as all hell. Well the Spierig’s made this sucker in 2 years. It cost them a million dollars and has more visual effects than were in the original Star Wars film with perfect CG done by the two of them.
What sort of CG? Oh, insane stuff like outer space meteor explosions, Meteors striking people, cars and other stuff… Then there’s all those set extensions, the airplane thing, the explosions, the creature thingees… Oh, I tell you… it gets flat out insane. And it is all excellent. I really love the look of this film. A great mix of practical make up and digital effects.
And BLOOD, there’s blood, big glorious splashes of blood. You know, I just don’t know if you can imagine how cool some of these moments are. It never goes to the DEAD ALIVE level of blood, but then… what does?
What this film has is a whole slew of new twists and turns for a Zombie movie. It isn’t just a zombie flick, it adds other mythologies, creates its own and in the end… It leaves you giggling with a smile knowing… that You will own this film on DVD someday. In fact, you can imagine multiple editions. I just want the damn fishing lure from the film. For Luck you see. It has… um… powers. I’ll just leave it at that.
Everything about this film is exceptional, from the score, to the laughs, to the makeup, to the characters and their dialogue, to the story and to the amazing work these Brothers put in. You can tell that this is a genre film by folks that love the world of genre movies, that care enough to make a great one, and to spend years of their life to make it a reality. Yup, this one is for you.
Now remember.
Stay out of the Rain.
Don’t breathe the air.
Don’t get bit or dead.
Shoot em in the head, or at least do damage there somehow.
Don’t climb anything ever!
With that, I leave you to ponder. As for those of you out in Los Angeles looking for the next big thing… It’s playing a small little screening room next Tuesday. Then it’ll be in several hundred screens at least, because you know you will think the same way. You know the Toy Deal with McFarlane toys or Sideshow Toys can’t be far behind. You know this because… It is so. It is meant to happen.
I want a Marion action figure real bad. Real bad. That and getting a DEREK toy with wind up action car and Bastard disguise!
You shouldn’t want to read or see too much on this film, just know that if you love low-budget high grade cult flicks… this is one of those. One filled with surprises, quotes and laughs. I just hope that whatever U.S. distributor picks it up... well, keeps the original voices, they're hilarious, and yes the accent is heavy, but that's part of the joy of this... especially that frickin' cop! He rules!

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Reader Talkback
Braindead by DaveC | Mar 20th, 2003 05:46:27 AM | GOOD GOOD GOOD by PrawnJoe | Mar 20th, 2003 06:34:34 AM | The guys real name is even
"Mungo" by earthworm | Mar 20th, 2003 06:52:40 AM | I Dunno.... by Karl Childers | Mar 20th, 2003 07:00:34 AM | Does anyone know.... by Alan Felix | Mar 20th, 2003 07:05:18 AM | House of 1000 Corpses by VoteRoslin08 | Mar 20th, 2003 07:06:51 AM | I dont think so by simongarth2001 | Mar 20th, 2003 07:29:49 AM | Bitchin! by ELGordo | Mar 20th, 2003 07:30:43 AM | What the fuck happened to the
Australian release?? by The_Craggles | Mar 20th, 2003 07:33:58 AM | FUCKING FINALLY! by notinconceivable | Mar 20th, 2003 07:50:30 AM | Where is Dawn of the Dead SE
from Anchor Bay? by Corporateplant | Mar 20th, 2003 08:06:02 AM | Ok, now it makes sense by kingink123 | Mar 20th, 2003 08:27:24 AM | This film look retarded by Lumin Kadare | Mar 20th, 2003 08:37:40 AM | Dead Reckoning TBD by Karl Childers | Mar 20th, 2003 08:40:43 AM | Finally a Zombie film to get
excited over by Alix | Mar 20th, 2003 08:41:49 AM | Ummm.....? by GermanCity | Mar 20th, 2003 09:22:49 AM | Hate to be the pessimist,
but... by Johnny Ahab | Mar 20th, 2003 09:31:27 AM | This sounds awesome. by Nordling | Mar 20th, 2003 10:00:30 AM | Distribution by Freak of Nature | Mar 20th, 2003 11:44:30 AM | Undead has always seemed cool
with me..... by DukeTheBastard | Mar 20th, 2003 11:48:31 AM | When i read: Great "genre"
movie... by Magic Milkmaid | Mar 20th, 2003 12:24:30 PM | OK, but wouldn't it be fair to
say that Cemetary Man was the
las by Z-Man | Mar 20th, 2003 12:58:41 PM | I once had sex with a zombie
chick by PlantBoy! | Mar 20th, 2003 01:40:06 PM | "The Omega Man" is the only
great Zombie movie by Tarl_Cabot | Mar 20th, 2003 02:47:23 PM | Right fucking on by God Of Forkery | Mar 20th, 2003 03:06:02 PM | Daw of the Dead SE still
scheduled for October by Nocturnaloner | Mar 20th, 2003 03:11:52 PM | And Harry . . . by God Of Forkery | Mar 20th, 2003 03:12:09 PM | Oh, you wacky Americans and
your fucked-up film titles. by Cash Bailey | Mar 20th, 2003 03:39:59 PM | People are dying... by Bastard Bunny | Mar 20th, 2003 03:41:37 PM | Fuckers! by Mr. Tourette's | Mar 20th, 2003 04:35:43 PM | This is a movie site. Not a
war site. by Fat Tits | Mar 20th, 2003 04:56:44 PM | I think they should've used a
didgeridoo as the
"ass-kicking" we by Lord Shatner | Mar 20th, 2003 05:10:52 PM | Talk much hype? by Faceman101 | Mar 20th, 2003 05:21:55 PM | wrastlin wrattlesnakes! by imageburn13 | Mar 20th, 2003 06:22:16 PM | They want our Bralins? by eighteenvisions9 | Mar 20th, 2003 08:21:41 PM | STFU Bastard Bunny by Roger Thornhill | Mar 20th, 2003 09:03:34 PM | I thought we DID get the real
version of Dead Alive... by Raider | Mar 20th, 2003 09:08:50 PM | WTF? by kintar0 | Mar 20th, 2003 11:13:26 PM | Hey Cash... by crimsonrage | Mar 21st, 2003 02:02:59 AM | The hat needs a yellow smiley
face "Have a Nice Day" button by Fred | Mar 21st, 2003 10:36:18 AM | Aim for their heads. by Cabron | Mar 21st, 2003 12:29:20 PM | USA RUBBISH by no_bifocals | Mar 22nd, 2003 06:30:02 PM | Well would you look at that. I
know guys who were in this
thing by TheGinger Twit | Mar 31st, 2003 09:40:05 AM | Undead weaponry by baaltshuvah2003 | Apr 5th, 2003 08:06:49 PM | The Latest by MrNoBody | Jun 17th, 2003 07:09:21 AM | A Pleasant Surprise by Lao_Che | Sep 18th, 2003 07:55:55 PM | R4 DVD release by trench404 | Jun 23rd, 2004 03:28:45 PM |
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