Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
They likeseses them funny books somethin’ fierce. They’re a bunch of @$$holes. What else do you need to know?!
Hey kids, JonQuixote here, and let me see if I’ve got this straight. I have to be the one to compile this week’s column, which includes praise for Igor Korday and savagings of TRUTH and THE RED STAR, then review the best comic this week, deliver a rebuttal to Ambush Bug’s THUNDERBOLTS mini-review, and come up with some sort of witty and memorable intro for the whole thing?
Fuck that.
Title: SOLDIER X #8
Art: Igor Kordey
Words: Darko Macan
Colors: Matt Madden
Publisher: MARVEL
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
If you are a regular reader of this column, you may have noticed that we @$$holes hold the story part of a comic in high regard. I myself have drudged through many a poorly drawn comic in order to be entertained by a solid, thought provoking story. Detailed pictures of muscle-bound heroes beating the snot out of mustachio-twirling villains are cool to look at, but it is the way these over the top characters leap through impossible hurdles and tense situations that is the real reason why I read comics. But every now and then, a comic comes along and makes me forget about the words and the plot and all of that hooey. Sometimes a comic makes me realize that this is a medium with two important parts – that the art can be equally as important and powerful as the words. SOLDIER X #8 is such a comic.
Igor Kordey is not the most popular artist out there today. He’s one of those talents that you either love or hate. There are those who have seen his work on BLACK WIDOW and swear up and down that he skillfully draws realistic characters and situations in his own unique and stylistic way. Then again, there are those who want Igor’s head on a pike for the chicken scratchings that he tried to pass off as art in the pages of NEW X-MEN. If I had to choose, I’d have to take sides with the latter camp. I’ve seen talent in Kordey’s art, but too often than not, the guy misses the ship when it comes to piquing my interest. At times, his art seems sloppy and rushed. Importance and detail is given to “cool” shots while other panels are left lifeless and uninspiring. Kordey is another one of those artists who takes the time with the money shots, but slacks off on the panels that cease to be of interest. To me, I respect an artist more if he takes the time to make every panel special, but Kordey hasn’t shown that type of professionalism and commitment –that is, until SOLDIER X #8 came along.
SOLDIER X #8 is quite simply Kordey’s best work. And it’s a hell of a lot better than most of the other books out there. Kordey has scanned his own pencils in this issue. It’s a technique that has been used in recent issues of ORIGIN, CAPTAIN MARVEL, and X-TREME X-MEN. No inks. Just subtle detailed textures that only the fine point of an artist’s pencil could illustrate. This penciling technique gives a richness to the panels and the characters moving around in them that isn’t conveyed in normal comic book art. Kordey’s characters often have an alien-like look to them. The wide faces and large eyes make everyone seem inhuman. This is usually something that turns me off from his work, but the characters in this issue seem more fitting when done in pencil. There’s an authenticity to the expressions and emotion that regular inks just don’t convey. These characters come off as more human because of this.
In this issue, not a single panel is given any more attention than the rest. Throughout the book, every page is “shot” from dynamic angles and the images are equally powerful. One panel after another, the action being played out is conveyed with clarity and skill. There’s a panel where a dark warrior atop an armored horse attacks a boy. This ominous image is poster worthy. Absolutely stunning. There’s another panel where an old lady leaps to the boy’s rescue. The speed and grace of her movements play out on the page and no words are necessary. As I flip through this book I discover one panel filled with finely detailed nuances after another.
Adding to the powerful pencils is Matt Madden’s amazing colors. This is no four color super hero book. Shades of red and green that I have never seen before in a comic are painted throughout. There is a shot where the boy and the old lady are walking along a path. The sun is going down and the entire landscape behind them is bathed in amber hues. The night scenes are equally impressive with soothing blues masking devious terrors. From Kordey’s pencils to Madden’s color, this book is about as good looking as it gets.
Now, you may have noticed that I haven’t said “peep one” about this issue’s story. There is a specific reason for this. It sucks @$$. I sucks really nasty @$$. SOLDIER X is not a good book. Cable has been a non-character from the get go and has overstayed his welcome in the Marvel Universe. He’s been cast as a mystery man from the distant future, a globe spanning mutant freedom fighter, and now, a Christ-like figure destined to die for a greater good. Each characterization has been uninteresting. Cable has been put into one ludicrous situation after another since the SOLDIER X relaunch. Recently, Cable has been traveling the globe and spreading the word of the Askani religion. Each issue is unevenly balanced with quirky characters who talk to the reader and morose moments of sheer dread and torture. An issue where a little girl with healing powers is trampled by an angry mob is introduced by an alien in bed with a sexy woman. It is this type of uneven storytelling that turns me off from the book.
When both words and art work well together, amazing comic book tales are told. This is not an everyday occurrence in the comics medium. More often than not, great stories transcend the art for me. I find myself scanning past pictures to read the next panel. I found myself gazing at the art in SOLDIER X #8 and not even reading the word balloons the first time I read this book. And when I did read the book, I had to force myself to do so. The writing is bad. The characters are uninteresting. But the art is damn good. Forget about the plot for once. Ignore the characters. Just look at Kordey’s art in this book and see what type of coolness a pretty good artist can accomplish when he actually puts forth the effort. This is Kordey’s last issue of this book. Let’s hope he takes this level of artistry to the next project he is working on.
WHAT’S MICHAEL? – FAT CAT IN THE CITY (TPB)
Writer / Artist: Makoto Kobayashi
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Reviewed by Cormorant
I’ll be reviewing a “cute” comic today and I don’t want to hear any crap about it. I’ve got a MASTER OF KUNG FU review coming up later in the column to redeem my manhood, but right now, it’s time to talk about a comic that’s loveable, satirical, laugh-out-loud funny, and should be read by anyone out there who loves cats.
I’m not talking GARFIELD GETS DIABETES folks, I’m talking about the manga series WHAT’S MICHAEL?, of which this is the seventh volume. If the title seems a little goofy, just keep in mind that literal translations of Japanese titles can seem wacky to our barbaric Western sensibilities (kidding – I hate anime snobs like the rest of ya), but to answer the question it poses: Michael is an orange and white tabby cat who generally takes the lead in ensemble cast of cats and their various owners. One of the cool things about the title is that the ground rules are a little loose, so that some stories portray Michael as a completely non-anthropomorphized regular cat, while others anthropomorphize him to a degree that he speaks with other cats (though always about “cat” topics), and still others have go the full-on Bugs Bunny route, and have cats in human roles ranging from businessmen to cops. Sound confusing? It’s not, because each volume is made up of a series of six or eight-page vignettes, mostly self-contained, whose only purpose is to poke loving fun at cats and their owners from every angle conceivable.
And unlike those 101 USES FOR A DEAD CAT books your redneck in-laws once bought you, these stories are actually funny. So funny, in fact, that the reason I tried the comic in the first place is because it initiated one of the most embarrassing things that can happen in a store – uncontrollable laughing. Now laughing people in comic stores are generally to be shunned because most of them think Peter David’s every word is comedic gold, but damned if WHAT’S MICHAEL didn’t turn me into one of those laughing goons you want to strangle. So I bought it, made tracks, and I’ve been loving the series ever since. Sometimes all it takes is creator Makoto Kobayashi’s art to crack me up, as he balances an uncanny ability to portray cats realistically while giving them just enough human expressiveness to make a single image hilarious. He’s also got a wild imagination, having cooked up stories about Yakuza killers who’re fanatical cat lovers, an eternally tormented fly who Michael just won’t kill, and the various martial arts styles of cat-fu. Still sound cutesy? It is, but that doesn’t mean it’s not funny. In fact, for my money, Makoto Kobayashi’s got the best sense of comic timing since BONE’s Jeff Smith.
My favorite vignette in the latest volume is a two-parter revolving around the courtship of Catzilla, this behemoth of a female cat who’s the funniest visual this side of the first time you saw Homer Simpson’s eyes drift catatonically apart. Catzilla terrorizes the local neighborhood cats, but they’re compelled to court her because, as the narrator notes, in the feline universe it’s the female, not the male, who gets to choose her partner. He adds wryly, “We biologists have a scientific term for this – ‘The Tragic Fate of All Men.’” Another favorite story has Michael and his “wife” competing with the new baby in the household for attention, eventually realizing that its merciless cuteness dooms their efforts to failure. In the end, they offer their terms of surrender among the baby shower presents – a dead snake and rat. Still another vignette revolves around nothing more than Michael’s owner freaking out when she finds him walking on the guardrail of her apartment balcony, the ground many stories below. Stories like this will resonate with anyone whose stupid pet has ever done the same or climbed too high in a tree, but the exaggerated panic of Michael’s owner will have you laughing just the same.
Final judgment: If you’re not a cat person, you shouldn’t have read this far in the first place, tough guy, but if you are, WHAT’S MICHAEL is a must-have comic. Most cat humor is insufferable, but Makoto Kobayashi’s mixes up the cute stuff with sly parodies and slapstick visuals that are beyond reproach. There are even occasional moments of wicked humor as in the opening story where celebrities on a saccharine cat TV show confess their dark secrets after the cameras stop rolling (“I slammed on the breaks, but BLAMMO!”). The one and only downside to the WHAT’S MICHAEL? Is that there are a few running gags – the dancing cats bit for instance – that won’t register unless you’ve read previous volumes. Doesn’t matter. Buy it anyway because it’s that good, then join me in telling those bums at Dark Horse to get the early volumes back in print again.
COSMIC ODYSSEY (TPB)
Written by Jim Starlin
Art by Mike Mignola, Carlos Garzon, Steve Oliff
Published by DC
Reviewed by Buzz Maverik
What happens when you bring some of the great heroes of the DC Universe together in one mini-series and pit them against a cosmic menace of continuity-shaking proportions? Follow the heartbreaks, the hook-ups, the thrown-downs and breakdowns on ... @TV'S THE REAL UNIVERSE.
DARKSEID: "I was suspicious when the writer, Jim Starlin, kept calling me Thanos. I later learned that Thanos is a knockoff of myself whom this Starlin created for the Marvel Universe. However, Starlin will tell you, and I concur, that there are huge differences between this Thanos and Great Darkseid. For example, Thanos is in love with the living embodiment of Death, while I pursue power by seeking to obtain the elusive Anti-Life Equation. Not Death but Anti-Life."
BATMAN: "I really hate it when I get mixed up in this cosmic crap. I'm supposed to help stop the Personification of Dea--Anti-Life? Yeah, right! I fight guys who make weapons out umbrellas and dress up like characters from ALICE IN WONDERLAND."
SUPERMAN: "The Anti-Life being split its persona into these little human sized aspects, big enough for us to fight which I thought was darn nice of him. Highfather, leader of the New Gods, teamed up with his archenemy Darkseid and gave us these little traps to capture these Anti-Life aspects. They reminded me of those little gizmos they used to capture the ghosts in GHOSTBUSTERS."
ORION: "I just want to say that there was no reason to have both Batman and Superman slug me. Maybe I was a little out line, but that's what I do! I push buttons! I take it up a notch! That's just me, that's who I am, take it or leave it, baby! I think at one point, those jerks were actually going to vote to kick me out of the mini-series. Like, Darkseid gets to stay but I'm gonna be kicked out?"
LIGHTRAY: "This was Mike Mignola's first big foray into superheroes. He'd done humor and horror. The funny thing is, he told COMIC BOOK ARTIST that he'd grown up a Marvel zombie, but here he was doing all us big DC superheroes...Yeah, I said us. So what? I'm Lightray! Light-ray! New God? Jack Kirby creation? That ring a bell? No wonder Starfire didn't want to hook up with me."
STARFIRE: "I didn't want to hook up with Lightray because he thinks he's such a playa. Also, he kept calling me Firestar. He actually thought I was that Marvel mutant created for the SPIDER-MAN & HIS AMAZING FRIENDS Saturday morning cartoon show. I was in the TEEN TITANS. We were bigger than the X-MEN...of course, that was a long time ago."
JOHN STEWART : "No, dammit, I do not go by the name Black Green Lantern any more. Man, I shoulda killed myself...huh? What's a spoiler?"
THE DEMON: "Rhyme, rhyme, how can the writers make me do it all the time? It is poor Etrigan everyone is hating...even I find my rhyming grating."
BATMAN: "I'm pretty sure they just stuck me in this series because I had a movie coming out the next year....Yeah, I know my movies blew! We're talking about the trade paperback here! The one with the cool story by Jim "Cosmic" Starlin and great Kirby/Simonson style art by (then) somewhat new guy Mike Mignola!"
SUPERMAN: "You'll have to excuse Bruce. He's been kind of psychotic ever since his parents were killed."
BATMAN: "Don't call me Bruce, Clark!"
STARFIRE: "You can sure tell Chris Claremont didn't have anything to do with this book. I'm the only woman in it and I'm not even the leader of the team. That Darkseid is so sexist...but kind of cute in that bad boy way....No, I will not talk about my relationship with Nightwing."
MARTIAN MANHUNTER: "Why aren't you asking me any questions? You've always hated me, haven't you? Well, some of us less popular characters are still in this book too, ya know!"
ADAM STRANGE: "It used to really irk me when I'd get Dr. Strange's fan mail. Now, I answer it for a gag. There's this one stupid little fanboy named Buzz Maverik who thinks that he and Doc are pen pals. What a maroon!"
DARKSEID: "Okay, I'll be honest with you. Even I wonder why I'm considered such a menace in the DC Universe. I mean, I always lose. Sure, I put a positive spin on it and say things like ...at least I have a tiny piece of anti-life or ...the next time, Superman will have a false sense of security.. but I'd like to win once in a while."
HIGHFATHER: "All NEW GODS series always fold after about two years. I'm not sure why."
ETRIGAN: "This is what you always do...stupid jokes but no review! Tell the readers you loved this book...tell them to give it a look...Starlin was a childhood fave, Mignola's art deserves a rave... Not one more stupid joke, or your neck, I'll have to choke!"
WOLVERINE #186
Writer: Frank Tieri
Artist: Terry Dodson
Embarassed Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewed by Cormorant
SPOILER ALERT! If you care about shithole comics, be sure to read WOLVERINE #186 before reading this review! I’m gonna blow the shitty ending!
So, okay folks, remember how in the 1960’s, Marvel arose as the coolest, most progressive publisher of superhero comics in America? And how they’ve largely managed to maintain that status, excepting only the 90’s, when everything but Vertigo and small press comics sucked anyway? Well here’s a snapshot of Marvel today:
A few months back, superhero-hatin’ Garth Ennis gave fans the finger by having Wolverine guest star in PUNISHER, only to show have the popular mutant reduced to a caricature who had his nuts and face shot off. Yukkity-yuk. Well, in the tradition of “Yo’ mama’s so fat…”, WOLVERINE writer Frank Tieri goes for revenge this week with a 22-page fight between the pair that ends when…*insert lame slide whistle effect here*…Punisher’s duffle bag of supplies tears open and a bunch of bodybuilding magazines fall out. Punisher mumbles something about how he’s “always looking for suspects” in a gag stolen directly from the 1976 movie, MURDER BY DEATH, and Wolverine walks off laughing at him, adding, “Makes sense, now that I think about it. You’re single, neat, very organized…”
D’ya get it, True Believers? Wolverine’s outed Frank Castle as a queer!! Everyone thinks Punisher is this manly tough guy, BUT HE AIN’T NOTHIN’ BUT ONE’A THEM GODDAMN SISSY FAGGOTS, CLEETUS!!!
So anyway, that’s a snapshot of Marvel today.
THE RED STAR #1
Christian Gossett, Bradley Kayl, Paul Schrier, Snakebite
Archangel Studios / Crossgen comics
reviewed by Lizzybeth
Crossgen’s first comic in the creator-owned branch of their line is Christian Gossett’s THE RED STAR, which is sort of unfortunate. I’ve never been all that interested in Crossgen’s line, but the publisher’s attempts to develop alternate methods of distribution and promotion have got my attention. This title, on the other hand, is losing my attention just as it changes publishers, which may or may not be entirely a coincidence. Formerly premiered by Image comics in 2000, THE RED STAR was once a promising and innovative title, with a unique and striking hybrid of computer-generated and hand-drawn artwork, one that I’ve spoken highly of in the past. I talked about its potential when it first came out with the Battle of Kar Dathra’s Gate collection, and then again as it entered its second storyline Nokgorka. At a certain point, though, you have to expect a title to finish promising and start delivering. Three years later, as the title debuts once again at its new home, THE RED STAR appears to be headed in exactly the opposite direction of where it should, and it seems that not only has the title not lived up to its initial promise, it has already played out its premise.
To be frank, this issue read a lot like a bad episode of Star Trek. For a series that began as a Russian-flavored fantasy/war epic, it’s a very bad turn indeed. Suddenly, we’ve left the rebel war front in Chech—I mean, Nokgorka, and headed off to the Spirit World, looking for heroine warrior-sorceress Maya Antares’s dead husband’s soul in a spaceship. No wait, it’s a “skyfurnace”, one of those floating barges that looked kind of neat when they were being piloted over vast battlefields and operated like a floating aircraft carrier, but looks pretty dumb flying around in space. That is, the Spirit World, which looks like space except it has electric-blue swirly nova stuff (ooh, spirit-y) that’s supposed to connote the afterlife. Conveniently, the Spirit World operates under the usual laws of physics so that our heroes can pilot their spaceship - I mean, pilot their.. oh, forget it. This is lame. You want to know what happens in this issue? The spaceship is in the Spirit-World, various people shout Trekkian nonsense like “we’re in some kind of resistance field!”, they run into something, the end.
Fangirl complaining about “her” comic not catering to her whims – check. It’s true, I could complain about scores of genuinely crappy comics instead of picking on a title that has (or has had) some semblance of value, but I don’t care about genuinely crappy comics. I really liked the Kar Dathra’s Gate collection, and really bought into the world and characters that were created there. I liked the computer-enhanced artwork back when it was matched with a story of some depth and interest; here, it simply grates, looks glossy and shallow, as do all of the characters, who make appearances just long enough to restate their character summations (Urik: “I am stoic”)(Makita: “I hate all of you”)(The Red Woman: “I look neat”) and exclaim things about the ship. Of course a first issue isn’t the time to really delve into anything complicated, but it only illustrates the general progress of this title away from what made it so interesting in the first place. The first two storylines were about the fall of an empire, first in a catastrophic final battle and later in the regional factions fighting for the scraps. But this current plot thread, which has admittedly been pointed to from the beginning, will be about rebuilding that empire (or a replacement for it, at any rate). And as the Star Wars series of films illustrates most recently, and Shakespeare mined repeatedly, the rise of an empire is just not as compelling as its destruction. I wanted to see more of the Republic of the Red Star in its final days, and the chaos ensuing afterwards. Even forgetting that, this soul-prison idea as told is clumsy and out-of-place, it just doesn’t work for me. Maybe this “Prison of Souls” six-part story arc is a diversion rather than a new direction for the title. If so, I’ll rejoin this comic when it comes back to earth.
SLEEPER #2
Written by Ed Brubaker
Art by Sean Phillips
Published by Wildstorm
A Jon Quixote review
About a month or two ago, I was in the AICN talkbacks, and some coco puff was going on and on about how the only genre the comic medium is good for is superheroes. And, in diplomatically pointing out that this guy had the mental capacity of a crack puppy, I suggested that with its ability to blend action and monologues, as well as the freedom enjoyed by artists regarding lighting and color, the genre comics are actually most suited towards is noir.
Then along comes Sleeper. And my point has been proven, underlined, and suffixed with a truckload of exclamation points.
Because this is good noir. Not good for a comic, but just plain flat out good. Dark, smart, and morally pretzled, Sleeper could hold its own against any noir, from any medium.
The superhero stuff is just sugar, a bonus, a treat for fans of both genres. Brubaker and Phillips have combined spandex and trenchcoats in a way that makes perfect sense, and not only satisfies the requirements of both spheres, but advances them as well, each using the other as leverage. The fantasy element delivers action, dangers, and perversities that regular noir can’t approach; the dark, crime element fleshes out questions and cancels out the criticism dismissive skeptics toss at spandex heroes. Ever wonder why a bank robber would wear green tights and a red cape? Brubaker makes sense of it all:
“Wannabes and groupies…young girls who just need to be close to bad for a few hours at a time…who the fuck doesn’t want to be treated like a rock star?”
Sleeper follows the exploits of Holden Carver, a former superhero now deep undercover in a criminal organization. But Holden has one big problem; the only man, other than himself, who knew about the mission is dead. I think. The one problem with this book is that it takes place in the WildStorm superhero world, which makes the big picture a little bit opaque for new readers.
Not that it really matters, because before he can take care of his big problem, Holden has to sort out the more immediate ones facing him. Like being discovered standing over the dead body of a half-naked superior, which is the image that opens issue #2. Or the fact that one of the criminals he’s working to bring down is quickly becoming his best friend.
It’s a great premise, executed by near pitch-perfect writing, and moody, atmospheric art. Great dialogue, fascinating characterization, and the splicing of two distinct genres in a way that makes you question the notion that they actually exist separately. Sleeper is the type of comic that the comic medium was created for, and should titillate superhero fans, noir junkies, or anybody who just plain likes good writing.
There is no way that a book this good isn’t going to gather buzz like dandruff on a black shirt. In a couple months, everybody is going to be talking about this book. You’re going to be buying it eventually, so you might as well get in now, while it’s still early, and you can brag that you were there from the beginning to the losers who had to wait for the write-up in Wizard.
You won’t be disappointed.
Title: THUNDERBOLTS #76
Writer: John Arcudi
Artist: Francisco Ruiz Velasco
Publisher: MARVEL
A five-minute rant in one breath by Ambush Bug
MARVEL is pushing their latest relaunch as FIGHT CLUB meets the Marvel Universe sans the single serving friends, the soap, and of course, the bitch tits. THUNDERBOLTS #76 starts a new direction for the comic made famous for its villains turned heroes. The creators are keeping the concept of redemption, but casting new z-grade characters like Armadillo and the Battler into the mix and changing the scenery to a seedy underground boxing ring. Arcudi sets up an interesting concept. This comic could turn into a sort of CONTEST OF CHAMPIONS-like series where we follow two fighters for a while and then see who can beat the stuffing out of who for that particular month. I could appreciate that type of book for its simplicity and sheer fanboy fun factor, but think the creators behind this one are trying to delve into something a bit deeper than that. Of course, this book is under Marvel’s regular line, so they can’t take the risks one might think of when comparing the book to FIGHT CLUB and that’s too bad. I’d love to see this book push it to the limits. I’d love to see this book be “for real men” like the cover says. I’d like the fights to be bloody. The sex to be raunchy. And the complex themes of masculinity to be explored as they were in FIGHT CLUB. But so far, what I have seen is a pretty typical intro issue with minimal risks taken and some art that is above par with what I have become accustomed to with this title. One tiny beef: I’m not too happy about the way they changed the way Armadillo looks. Why not create a new character? Why change an 8-foot tall orange human armadillo from Gruenwald’s classic CAPTAIN AMERICA run into an green armor plated man-monster? The book’s not bad though. It seems a bit early to write this book off as a failed attempt at a relaunch. I’ll stick around for the first arc to see what develops, but something edgy and interesting had better happen soon. So far, though, I am Jack’s unimpressed bile duct.
Follow Up by Jon Quixote
Two things: First, this has to be the funniest damn cover I’ve ever seen. There’s this banner on the top that says “Marvel Comics for Real Men,” and since it’s a comic about wrestling superheroes, written without a trace of guile or satire, I have to assume they’re not being facetious. Just because you’re comparing it to Fight Club doesn’t mean you’re in the same ballpark (or planet). So, here’s a clue, Real Men don’t buy things that say “For Real Men.” I know. I bought it, and I’m wearing an avocado facemask as I write. And then there’s the quote by Kurt Busiek on the cover – “I think it’s good work by talented people” – which earns an automatic induction into the “damning with faint praise” hall of fame. Basically it reads like code for “Those dumbasses never got my original concept in the first place, and now they’ve completely fucked it over…then again, the check for JLA Vs. Avengers hasn’t cleared yet.” Second, regarding all the comparisons to Fight Club being tossed around…everybody I know who saw Fight Club without first reading the book, automatically assumed it was an action movie about underground boxing matches, Lionheart with a bigger casting budget, instead of a viciously satirical social indictment. Based on this first issue, it seems apparent that Thunderbolts is going to have way more in common with JC Van Damme’s opus than the Palahniuk novel or subsequent film. And there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but it means that anybody who pimps this book as having anything to do with Fight Club is either lying or a moron. Third, while there’s nothing inherently wrong with the concept, the book is so misguided, unfunny and dull that there’s absolutely nothing to recommend – even the hackiest Van Damme movie knows that if you’re trying to entertain “real men” with a story about underground fighting, then you better grab your audience with a notable fight stat. If that’s the audience your’e aiming for, give’em some reason to come back next month. Fourth, I suck at math.
THE TRUTH: RED, WHITE AND BLACK Part IV of VII
Writer: Robert Morales
Artist: Kyle Baker
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewed by Sleazy G
This is a classic example of a project that never should have been greenlit. The series started out, I believe, as a five-issue mini. It’s been extended to seven for no reason other than an inability to tell a story coherently, and at $3.50 an issue I’m feeling pretty robbed. Let’s look at Marvel’s recipe for success on this book: A writer with no idea how to write a story, art that is confusing and annoying at best and a tale full of wholly unsympathetic characters that doesn’t actually do what we were told it was setting out to do.
I learned more about what happened in Part III from the one-page recap in Part IV than I did from actually reading Part III. This is what one would call “not good”. It’s not that my reading comprehension skills are the problems, either. See, when you have page after page of panel after panel with no dialogue, it’s extremely important that the storytelling in the art be clear enough that you know EXACTLY what’s going on without being told. Not gonna happen with this book, kids. The art is so sloppy and cartoony that it’s hard to tell sometimes which character is which, what they’re doing and why. I found myself going over panels again and again, but not because I wanted to soak up the art. Nope, it was because I didn’t have a clue what the hell was going on. In fact, it flows so poorly there were times I wasn’t even sure whether I was supposed to be reading from the top of the first page to the top of the second or go down each page individually until I had read both pages and realized I had read it out of order. This actually happened a couple of times, and while it seems obvious once you’ve read it through, it should be obvious all along.
And, of course, there’s the story itself, what there is of it. Morales started out by cramming a lot of characters in way too soon. Then, because of the lack of scripting and dialogue I mentioned, he completely failed to develop any of them. What little characterization there’s been—and I mean VERY little—has generally left me feeling bored or unimpressed, and the characters are pretty much unsympathetic. I don’t give a rat’s ass what happens to any of these guys, I really don’t. I don’t need all my characters to be likeable, but if you want somebody to keep spending money on your book you’d better give ‘em a reason to come back. When your readers don’t give a shit about the characters or the story, well, they’re not gonna be your readers any more.
I should probably also mention how stupid Part IV is, too, while I’m here. We had a bunch of characters we didn’t know or care about die in an amazingly boring action sequence. This whittled the team of amped-up soldiers down to three characters we didn’t care about. Then one of them went berserk, killed one of his buddies because he tried to help out, and got shot in the head. Again, a stupid, pointless scene and one in which the one who flipped out acted in a way that went against what little characterization he’d gotten in the previous 85 pages or so of the story. We’re also expected to believe that Steve Rogers is already active at this point, even though we were told before the series even started that these soldiers were the first to be tested upon, since they didn’t want to risk it on white folks yet. Oh, and we’re supposed to believe that the one remaining member of the squad who’s still alive managed to sneak in somewhere and steal the Captain America uniform and sneak it out with him so he could wear it on a suicide mission in Germany. Yeah, right—these guys have been monitored constantly and controlled and treated like animals, but suddenly this one guy managed to sneak off and steal the costume from Steve Rogers? Yeah, like I’m gonna buy that shit. Especially from a character who we haven’t seen do jack so far so that we have no real assessment of his abilities.
I honestly don’t get what’s going on over at Marvel lately. I have no idea why this project was approved. I have no idea why nobody in editorial has made this guy tighten up and write a story that fits into the five issues he was slated for and then make the issues come out on time. I have no idea why they’re not making him write a coherent story. I have no idea why they’re letting him undermine the story they set out to tell by making sure we don’t actually view any of these guys as heroic despite what they’re going through so we wouldn’t feel like somebody unworthy was in the costume. I have no idea what the point of this entire project was, since it’s a crappy story with crappy art that leaves a bad taste in my mouth when I’m done reading it. The concept behind the project held some promise, which is what got me to pick it up to begin with. Sadly, it has completely failed to follow through on any of that promise, which is a real shame.
THE POWER COMPANY #13
Kurt Busiek – Writer
Tom Grummett – Penciller
Prentis Rollins – Inker
Published by DC Comics
Reviewed by Village Idiot
One of the things I like best about THE POWER COMPANY is that the book stars film actor Christopher McDonald. For those of you who think you don’t know who Christopher McDonald is, chances are you have probably seen him in something somewhere. McDonald carved a considerable niche for himself in the past twenty years in filmdom as the smarmy white guy, the greedy, duplicitous, bullying rake that always gets his comeuppance when the underdog wins at the end of the movie. By the time he played perhaps the quintessential smarmy white guy “Shooter” McGavin in HAPPY GILMORE, McDonald had a smarm-filled resume long enough to supplant William Atherton (Mr. Peck, GHOSTBUSTERS) as THE smarmy white guy to put in your movie. He even played an animated smarmy white guy in THE IRON GIANT.
And now Kurt Busiek and Tom Grummett seem to have cast him in yet another smarmy white guy role: Manhunter, Kirk de Paul. De Paul, a leftover clone of the original Manhunter (Paul Kirk), is a full partner in the struggling super-hero-for-hire firm known as The Power Company, and the only one who seems to have a firm grasp on the group’s profit margin. So when The Power Company is presented with the option of either saving Star Labs (and possibly the rest of humanity) from an attack by Dr. Polaris, or securing a gig whereby The Power Company gives exclusive protection to DC’s equivalent of Barney the dinosaur, for Manhunter there’s really no question. In fact, in THE POWER COMPANY #12, he even tried to bully the rest of the group into compliance, including new member Firestorm; bully them in that smarmy Christopher McDonald way. The jerk.
Unfortunately, they didn’t listen. So while he’s on the coast hammering out the Barney deal, the rest of the Power Company takes on Polaris, and gets their asses handed to them. This is essentially what takes place in THE POWER COMPANY #13, an enjoyable issue of a series that I’ve only recently begun to investigate. Overall, I like THE POWER COMPANY; in fact, it’s fair to say I’m hooked, even though in the five issues that I’ve read, I’ve yet to read one that really knocks my socks off. The reason I like it is that Busiek manages to throw enough of the fundamentals in there to keep me entertained: fun, drama, history, and, well, Shooter McGavin.
The fun of THE POWER COMPANY is largely a matter of tone. There isn’t a tremendous amount of hand-wringing deconstruction; the book seems to be more about high adventure with almost a 1980s feel. Much of #13 is comprised of big, somewhat standard mid-air super-hero melee. Of course, the fight wasn’t completely by the numbers either: at one point, The Power Company offers to buy out the super-powered henchman (they pass). Meanwhile, Manhunter sees the gang get into trouble on a TV during his Barney meeting. Will de Paul come through in the clutch? Or will leave his colleagues to be creamed by the ersatz-Magneto menace of Polaris? Maybe he’s not so Christopher McDonald-ish after all.
To the more trained observer, you’ll find that the average issue of THE POWER COMPANY also draws upon a fair amount of DCU history, so much so that some brave person at the DC Comics Message Boards has taken to annotating issues. Apparently Manhunter has a somewhat complicated relationship with Batman, among others. Other characters, like the super-strong Bork, also have connections and references that find their way into the stories. THE POWER COMPANY is not as steeped in legacy as JSA, but it has a good sense of time, place and context. It’s really in the DCU.
Again, fun, drama, history, and Christopher McDonald. Grummett almost draws Manhunter as McDonald: tall, wavy brown-haired white guy with a trace of perpetual sneer, although de Paul has a little Lee Marvin thrown in too. Grummett manages to nail down the non-Christopher McDonald characters in a way I liked as well, i.e., vivid and straightforward. It’s nice not to be distracted by the art, which, considering what I have to put up with in so many of the comics I’m reading these days, is no small feat.
I’d been hearing some buzz about THE POWER COMPANY on the net for a while, and once I found out that Busiek was writing it, the deal was closed and I had to check it out. And now I’m picking up back copies in order to catch up. Again, it hasn’t dazzled me to the point of THE FLASH, or even JSA, but it’s solid enough warrant the attention of anyone who enjoys solid super-hero adventure. Keep that in mind on your next trip to the shop.
SHANG CHI: MASTER OF KUNG FU #1-6
Writer: Doug Moench
Artist: Paul Gulacy
Publisher: Marvel MAX
Reviewed by Cormorant
I was all over the first issue of Doug Moench and Paul Gulacy’s MASTER OF KUNG FU miniseries for Marvel MAX. Great action, cinematic staging, and the always excellent art of Gulacy made it one of the few MAX titles that didn’t reek of “look, we can say ‘fuck’!” excess. Alas, I felt it lost its novelty value fairly quickly and subsequent issues left me underwhelmed. I stopped reading the series, but continued to buy it, recalling how another recent miniseries from Moench and Gulacy - GREEN LANTERN: DRAGON LORD - read much better in one sitting than serialized over the course of several months. And y’know what? The gamble paid off. MASTER OF KUNG FU is a far cry from greatness, but like so many of the chop socky flicks and Bond movies it takes its inspiration from, it really hits the spot when you’re in the mood for that kind of thing.
But you do have to be in the mood, because there’s not much in the way of innovation coming from this story. From the first issue to the last, it’s essentially one extended action sequence, and the few bridging scenes are fraught with pulp clichés and dialogue that could’ve been cribbed from the original 70’s incarnation of MASTER OF KUNG FU. It even begins with a hoary cliché - the retired agent reluctantly called back into service from a peaceful existence. In Shang’s case, he’s living the good life on an island of likeminded martial arts mystics, hangin’ in his temple, meditating, and schooling kids with his Zen lessons. It’s all very serene and picturesque, but his personal peace means jack squat to the outside world, and evil forces are afoot. Enter his old MI6 pal, Clive Reston (a bit of a James Bond knock-off), who informs Shang Chi that not only did he marry Shang’s old secret agent girlfriend, Leiko Wu, a few years back, but that Leiko may have been captured by the evil forces of St. Germain, and that this guy might also be on the verge of completing an earth-scorching super-weapon that would make Doctor Doom jealous. Germain’s a genuine historical figure associated with secret societies, alchemy, immortality, and other cool ‘n’ mysterious stuff, but for Moench and Gulacy’s purposes, he’s The Big Bad. Think S.P.E.C.T.R.E.-level villainy, or perhaps more appropriately, of the world-conquering pulp villain Dr. Fu Manchu.
Y’see, Germain is Fu Manchu, using the St. Germain alias to cloak his insidious activities and, *ahem*, allowing Marvel to use the character without ever saying his name and upsetting the lawyers from the Estate of Sax Rohmer. The good doctor is also Shang’s estranged father, and the book’s occasional non-action sequences often revolve around their diametrically opposed worldviews. More interesting to me is Shang Chi’s reluctant return to action, fueled by an unrequited love for the woman who’s married his old friend. Unfortunately, this love triangle that might’ve had some of the poignancy of the similar love triangle in LA FEMME NIKITA never manages to rise above the Cyclops/Jean Grey/Wolverine basics of angst. As a result, the book’s emotional core is pretty hollow.
But it’s the action we care about for a series like this, right? Damn right. And in that department Gulacy and Moench deliver in spades, thumbing their noses at today’s talky adventure comics by delivering two and even three action sequences per friggin’issue! And these are really good action sequences. St. Germain is surrounded by hundreds of devoted commandos, and to get to him, Shang and his MI6 pals are going to have to kick the asses of every damn one of them. Artist Paul Gulacy’s particular talent in this area is in drawing moment-to-moment combat in which you can actually see the flow of moves and countermoves, whereas most American comics give only a “highlight reel” depiction of fighting. My only gripes about the art are my typical small gripes about Gulacy: he always weirds me out a bit with his depiction of faces, where features veer periodically into “gray alien” territory; his high-tech military equipment sometimes looks too sci-fi; and his female agents are a little overly sexualized what with the catsuits they wear while the men strap on battle armor. Err, actually, that last bit isn’t so much a complaint, and the other gripes are mitigated by Gulacy’s fantastic detail, Neal Adams-esque light sourcing, and the sheer coolness of all his character designs and second-to-none fight scenes.
What’s most interesting about MASTER OF KUNG-FU is that despite the DIE HARD-level violence and the swearing no doubt necessary for consideration as a MAX title, the tone of the story is surprisingly quaint. This is unpretentious good versus evil stuff that’s probably more appropriate for kids than some of Marvel’s non-MAX titles (PUNISHER, SPIDER-MAN/BLACK CAT, WEAPON X, etc.). I only spotted one element that might have been functioning as a bit of subversive commentary, and that was the presence of a gung-ho team of “kill em’ all” special forces types whose leader is gunning to replace Shang’s aging secret agent buddy as head of MI6. One can’t help but wonder if this effective but self-destructive group represents Moench and Gulacy’s feelings about the hotshot creators competing with them today, willing to tear it all down to make their names.
Final judgment: Silly story, great fight scenes. Though there are a handful of exceptional martial arts movies out there, the majority of them are crude stories wherein combat staging becomes the central drama, and judged according to those standards, MASTER OF KUNG FU is fine entertainment. Consider this a qualified recommendation for most, but a definite thumbs up to kung fu junkies twiddling their thumbs as they await Tarantino’s KILL BILL.
Public Service Announcement: While writing this review, I stopped by Paul Gulacy’s website, and easily the coolest thing I found there was this Black Widow portfolio I’d never seen. Go check it out, then look at all the other swanky stuff.
