Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Cormorant talks about ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY’s new comic book coverage below, and it cracks me up when non-geek media tries to wrap themselves in the affectations of geekdom. Zorianna Kit, a lovely and charming writer for THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER, referred to Superman as “The Caped Crusader” in her piece last week about Josh Hartnett playing the role. Ummmmm... nope. Sorry. That’s Batman. Did you mean “The Man Of Steel,” perhaps?
Anyway... here’s our favorite group of comic-book reading lunatics, locked and loaded just for you:
Cormorant here with another senses-shattering column, but first off, I’ve got two things to mention:
Item #1: ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY, a halfway decent magazine that’s already had a history of comic book articles, has taken the next step and begun a weekly comic book feature as of the current issue. Fellow comic geeks, we all know they’re gonna bungle some of the details, but this is actually some pretty respectable mainstream coverage. Hell, they’re even covering indies (along with the ubiquitous DAREDEVIL recommendations)! Anyway, with funnybooks getting a bit of limelight, I have every confidence that our little funnybook column at one of the most WELL-KNOWN POP CULTURE SITES ON THE ENTIRE FRICKIN’ WEB is likely to be scoured by more mainstreamers and Hollywood production assistants than ever. So be on your best behavior TalkBackers. Be witty and insightful, and please, I’ve said it a thousand times…less shit humor. Now we’ll all just pray the TalkBack maintains some semblance of chronological order…
Item #2: Ambush Bug always blows me away with his Casting Couch suggestions, but I’m prepared to bill this week’s take on a hypothetical THOR movie as perhaps his finest goddamn hour ever – yes, even with the controversial casting of Thor himself! Hollywood, take note. A Thor movie stands to combine the outrageous box office take of SPIDER-MAN and LORD OF THE RINGS, but only if you’re smart enough to hire Ambush Bug to tell you how to do it right.
Now on to the reviews. Comedian opens for us this week with coverage of one of the cooler comic-related finds I’ve heard of in quite some time…
“SUPERMAN VS. THE MONSTERS & VILLAINS” &
“SUPERMAN VS. NATURE & WAR” (DVD set)
Produced by Max Fleischer/Famous Studios
Directed by Dave Fleischer/ Dan Gordon, I.Sparber and Seymor Kneitel
Reviewed by The Comedian
With the hullabaloo surrounding a certain melon-headed Southie’s big screen turn as a kung fu-fighting, red-leather-clad, human lie detector, I figured what better time to humbly pay tribute and praise to the original big screen superhero adaptation that started it all. No, I’m not talking about the wonderful romantic-comedy-action-fantasy-adventure-masterpiece of 1978. I’m talking about a fantastic piece of cinema history (animation or otherwise). I’m talking about Max Fleischer’s SUPERMAN cartoons, the inspiration for Dini & Timm’s BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES, and more importantly the original springboard for an American Icon’s mainstream popularity.
Which is now available in a set of two DVD’s, “Superman vs. The Monsters & Villains” and “Superman vs. Nature & War”.
I fished them out of the bargain bin in a Wal-Mart of all places. Out of the 17 cartoons, produced between 1941 and 1943, 9 were produced by Max and directed by his brother Dave. The other 8 are from after Paramount bought out the Fleischer Bros. Studio, renaming it Famous Studios, fired them and hired their protégés to finish out the series (it’s almost like the Salkinds must have been communicating with these dead Paramount execs with a Ouija board). Despite the absence of Max & Dave the 8 other cartoons still work in their own way and aren’t lacking much in quality. Still, you can see an obvious shift in themes that dates them and makes them come off as funny little time capsules where the Fleischer-directed cartoons are comparatively timeless.
The first disc, “Superman vs. The Monsters & Villains” is comprised of the bulk of the Max & Dave cartoons. It should be called “Superman vs. That Ego-Crazed-Bitch Lois & A Bunch of Mad Scientists”. All the stories follow the same formula: Perry briefs Lois and Clark. Lois ditches Clark to scoop him on the story. Lois gets kidnapped or more often than not purposely walks into a trap. Clark changes into Superman, thwarts the evil scientist and saves Lois who then gets the front-page headline and taunts Clark who turns and winks at the audience. I’m not saying that the portrayal of Lois Lane is hateful. If anything she’s a likable proto-feminist whose mistreatment of Clark Kent and her constant willingness to put herself danger just to scoop him are actually endearing in a comical way.
My personal favorite of all the cartoons on this disc is “Billion Dollar Limited”. Lois travels on a train carrying billions of dollars worth of gold to the Federal Reserve in Washington D.C. A gang of Phantom-masked bandits attempt to rob the train by wounding the conductor and derailing it. Lois takes matters into her owns hands, commandeers the train and even pops off a couple of rounds of Tommy gun fire at the punks. The villains in this set of cartoons are two separate costume clad gangs with goofy, cockamamie schemes to steal money and gold, a Godzilla-like monster, a race of bird people that live underground, and a SHITLOAD OF MAD SCEINTISTS. They’ve got the Bald Mad Scientist, they’ve got the Evil Mustachioed Mad Scientist, and they’ve even got the Evil Native American Mad Scientist.
The second disc “Superman vs. Nature & War” is comprised mostly of the post-Fleischer work but does contain two of their stories, “Volcano” and “Terror On the Midway”. In the non-Fleischer stories Supes is mostly helping out Uncle Sam. He fights Nazi saboteurs, Japanese saboteurs (or “Japateurs”, as per the episode’s title), corrupt munitions factory owners, helps out a smoking hot blond secret agent, and even does a bit a sabotaging of his own in “Eleventh Hour”, my favorite of these war-era cartoons. Clark and Lois are in Japan covering a story (though I couldn’t help but wonder how the hell they could have gotten into that country in the first place) while Superman is secretly sabotaging Japanese ships by sinking them. The Japanese army kidnaps Lois and threatens to execute her if Superman doesn’t stop with the sabotage. Most of these war era stories are done with equal parts intelligence and entertainment, with the mildly racist “Japateurs” being the exception.
What makes these all these cartoons (especially the Fleischer-produced ones) so wonderful is the imagination and beautiful detail that went into them. There are some truly timeless, awe-inspiring moments in these cartoons. Moments like Superman beating back the laser beam in “The Mad Scientist”, or him fighting the room full of robots and later using his cape to shield Lois from a vat of white-hot lava being poured on them in “The Mechanical Monsters”, or him lifting up the destroyed bridge and repairing it like he was tying his own shoe laces in “The Arctic Giant”. Any one of these scenes runs circles around (pun intended) any action sequence we’ve seen done with the character live action or otherwise. Sadly, these cartoons were the undoing of a legendary animation studio because of their expense. Within a few years the Fleischer Bros. were looked on as has-beens while their rodent-loving, fascist, arch-rival was ridding high looking for a good place to put an overpriced tourist trap full of rides featuring creepy robots in G-rated burlesque shows. Isn’t life just awful.
JSA #45
David Goyer and Geoff Johns – Writers
Leonard Kirk – Penciller
Keith Champagne – Inker
Published by DC Comics
Reviewed by Village Idiot
If you ever take a visit to the Superman Message Board at dccomics.com, one of the first things you may be surprised to find is the level of discord. Although debate is a common aspect of so many message boards, including message boards related to comics, it’s nevertheless a reasonable assumption that any forum devoted to a such a paragon of virtue as Superman - to a character as seemingly basic as Superman - wouldn’t exactly be a shark tank. Guess again.
And if you spend any length of time at the Superman Message boards, you can identify a host of arguments that constantly resurface time and time again to the point where they almost seem like fixations. Usually the arguments break down along the lines of traditionalism versus progressivism, like “Superman should/shouldn’t get a new costume” or “This non-traditional artist does/doesn’t suck”, or the strange argument that seems to combine both nostalgia and progressive impulses, “Superman does/doesn’t need to return to a version closer to the Golden Age Superman” (a real hot meme, that one).
Tangentially related to that last argument, but really an argument in its own right is the classic “Superman should/shouldn’t kill” issue. (Superman was known to throw a guy or two out a window in the early days.) Some comic fans, Superman fans, feel very strongly that Superman’s no-killing policy is not only unrealistic, but morally wrong; wrong not only in its absolutism, but in its tangible results. Others disagree, seeing both a transcendental value to a refusal to kill, as well as oblique, long term benefits. And both sides are quite willing to argue about all this. Forever.
I bring this up because Geoff Johns and David Goyer tackle this issue almost head on in JSA #45. JSA #45 was one of my favorite JSA's in a good while, managing to combine two of the qualities that I enjoy most from JSA: a tapestry of characters and a rich and dynamic history. As a bonus, Johns and Goyer manage to take a preliminary stab, albeit only at comic depth, at that topic that so preoccupies the Superman message board. By the end of JSA #45, there’s a rift in the club, with certain members taking off for parts unknown, disgusted that another super-villain has slipped away yet again because nobody had the right moral fiber needed to kill him when the opportunity presented itself.
The super-villain that slips through the fingers this time is the messianic leader with the snake-motif known as Kobra. (Cobra Commander, no relation.) The JSA works unofficial security at Kobra’s trial: a media circus, complete with legions of Kobra followers protesting outside the courthouse. Meanwhile, Dr. Fate finds that the recovered woman he thought was his dying wife is actually Dove, from the “Hawk and Dove” superhero team from yesteryear. Fate’s disappointment manifests itself in odd behavior until the end of the book, when Kobra manages to escape and a darker reason for Fate’s aloofness is revealed.
Last week, I rapped UNSTABLE MOLECULES for reaching too awkwardly (gratuitously) for a social theme. My standard was high for that book because I felt the context they were shooting for was equally high. This standard is lowered a bit for JSA, which takes a more conventional comic book approach to explore its deeper issue: that is, the killing versus no-killing philosophy. That approach is good old fashioned blatancy.
To wit, Black Adam has had it. He comes from a time when the question of killing your enemies was not even an issue; and now, he lives in a world that irrationally lets its most dangerous villains live to kill again. When Sentinel offers up the slippery slope argument, Adam ain’t buying it. And what’s more, Adam is not the only one who feels that way. Not only does a fellow team member agree, judging by the death penalty approval polls in the U.S., America arguably agrees as well. (Of course, vigilante execution and government sanctioned executions are two different things, but they share commonality in their solution.) Any meaningful exploration of this issue is still in the early stages, and again, played very simply and obviously; but I’m interested to see exactly where Johns and Goyer take it within the more morally obvious realm of the DCU.
Although I’ve been reading JSA since #22, the backstory behind the Dr. Fate subplot is still pretty murky. Dove makes an appearance in the beginning. I’m so out of the loop on this one, I thought Dove was a guy, and my only exposure to him is when he died in CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS. And yet despite my confusion, I recognize and appreciate the depth of what’s going on here: a fairly elaborate plot is unfolding that takes elements from the history of the DCU and integrates them into the narrative. This has always been one of my favorite aspects of JSA: the synthesis of new characters and old history (or in the pejorative, old continuity). Other nice touches include a few suspenseful moments in the courtroom with Kobra, and the general tone of the book: still fun and fantastic, with Mr. Terrific’s T-spheres buzzing around, and of course, people walking around in strange costumes without a hint of self-consciousness.
But the tone is fun and fantastic in spite of an element to the art that I’m just now beginning to put my finger on: the coloring. I think the coloring on JSA is too muted. Now I don’t have anything against muted coloring; in fact I think the muted coloring on THE FLASH is part of what gives the book so much of its flavor. But I think that JSA could use something a little more vibrant, more bold to go along with the classic tone of the stories. Further, I’ve always found something about Leonard Kirk’s art to be a little vague to begin with. (Bear with me, I’m finding this a little hard to articulate.) Kirk’s people look natural to the point where they remind me of candid snapshots, and yet the details look obviously rendered. Combined with the muted coloring, the art has a slightly odd feel to it that I think may work against the stories.
But not enough to really make a dent. JSA #45 was an interesting book that rang the bells it needed to loud and clear, making it, again, one of the more enjoyable JSA outings in recent memory. That it establishes a prologue for the upcoming “Princes of Darkness” storyline means that it writes some checks we’ll see cashed later, and makes it a pretty good jumping-on point. JSA is definitely one of DC’s best titles right now, and this month’s is definitely worth checking out. I’m sure this is a fact that even the posters at the Superman Message board would agree upon. But only secretly, and after arguing about it for days.
ASTRO CITY: LOCAL HEROES #1
Kurt Busiek: Writer
Brent Anderson: Artist
Homage/Wildstorm: Publisher
Vroom Socko: Tourist
Review for those who’ve read previous issues of Astro City:
It’s back.
Review for those who’ve never read Astro City:
First off, what the hell’s the matter with you? You’ve NEVER read Astro City? Freaks.
Oh well, this issue is an excellent jumping-on point (and since it’s been over two years since the last issue, it damn well better be). While there are some moments that will mean more if you’ve read the previous work, the issue does stand on its own successfully. The Confessor makes an appearance, for example, but you don’t need to have read “Confession” to enjoy this story. Mind you, if you want to read “Confession”, I certainly won’t stop you.
The story this time out is narrated by one Pete Donacek, the doorman at an Astro City hotel called The Classic. While several different guests of the hotel meet some of the city’s superhero populace, Pete tells us about how he first came to the city, and why he chose to make it his home. The story is structured so that most of the major players are given some panel time, but the focus remains on the non-superheroes.
The previous runs of Astro City have been some of the most re-readable books in all of comics, and this issue is no exception. I’ve read it about half a dozen times already, and it only gets better. While it’s not the best issue Kurt Busiek has done, it is a typical one. Typical for Astro City, of course, means it’s better than anything Marvel’s put out in the past six months (well, the X-Books at least).
What makes Astro City so wonderful is the feeling that this is how it would be to actually live in a city full of superheroes. That this is what superheroes would be like in the real world. I know there are some comics that bill themselves as real people as superheroes; they’re actually books about vain, ignorant, greedy, brutal assholes as superheroes. Give me Astro City over those books any day. These stories are full of men and women of great nobility, so great that it rubs off on the people they protect. Hell, it rubs off on the reader. Or, as our narrator says:
“It’s just something about this city. It’s not like other places. And it’s not for everyone.”
“But for some of us, it’s the only place.”
Damn right. It’s great to be back in the city again.
STAR WARS: A VALENTINE STORY
Writer: Judd Winick
Artist: Paul Chadwick
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Reviewed by Cormorant
Leia: I love you.
Han: I know.
--The Empire Strikes Back
Is there a more intrinsically cool exchange in filmic history? I don’t think so, pards. The hardcore defenders of the poorly-executed Star Wars prequels would have you believe that all Star Wars dialogue has always been equally hokey, but there are so many little gems like Han and Leia’s above exchange in the original trilogy – and so few in the prequels – that their argument is about as dubious as Queen Amidala’s attraction to that murderous scamp, Anakin Skywalker. Credit writer/director Lawrence Kasdan for bringing healthy doses of vitality to EMPIRE STIRKES BACK and RETURN OF THE JEDI, but credit the younger, cooler Lucas of those days too, who charmed everyone in STAR WARS with lines like this one from Han Solo: “Wonderful girl! Either I'm going to kill her or I'm beginning to like her!”
Fans of that sort of silly-but-very-entertaining repartee between Han and Leia should make a point of checking out STAR WARS: A VALENTINE STORY, a one-shot written by Judd Winick (GREEN LANTERN, BARRY WEEN), and illustrated by Paul Chadwick (CONCRETE). It’s actually a very slight story, almost the equivalent of fan fiction that just throws together two characters the author likes for purposes of wish-fulfillment conversation, but as dismissive as that might sound, I found it to be very entertaining fan fiction.
The premise: it’s a few weeks shy of the events of EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, and the Rebels are in the midst of the unpleasant process of transferring equipment and supplies to the inhospitable ice planet, Hoth. Winick opens with a flashback page that catches readers up to speed on the events of STAR WARS in a storybook-style narrative that’s all heroism and romance, then craftily pulls the rug out from that image by cutting to Han and Leia in the midst of a no-holds-barred verbal showdown. Han starts taking shots at her lack of experience in the real world, where, as he puts it, “you may have to get dirty”, and then…
Leia: I live in the real world, Captain Solo, and I don’t have any problem getting dirty.
Han: Is that right? Well, now…things just got interesting.”
Indeed - that’s when she sucker-punches him. Groundbreaking characterization it may not be, but Winick nails the spirit and style of the characters at their romantically-charged, “IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT meets BUCK ROGERS” best, and old-school STAR WARS fans are guarantied to get a grin out of watching the sparks. Following their warm-up match, a convenient contrivance (limited Rebel supplies) forces the characters to share a small ship headed for Hoth, with Chewbacca escorting them in a sister ship. Suddenly, fan fiction strikes with a vengeance as a storm forces both ships to make emergency crash landings! What’s this? Han and Leia trapped in a damaged ship in an icy wasteland with nothing to do but share body warmth and divine each other’s hearts? Hey, I think Winick cribbed this story from that classic episode of TAXI where Andy Kaufman’s cab stalls in a snowstorm and he has to cheat on his wife and have sex with his female passenger to keep from freezing! Princess Leia better watch out or Carol Kane is gonna kick her ass.
But don’t hold the clichés too strongly against the book. It’s just a thirty page one-shot, so with little time to dawdle, Winick hurried to the juicy stuff we wanted to see, and it’s entertaining enough that it almost seems untoward to knock him for it. Now Winick doesn’t throw in any surprise shagging that would undermine the importance of Han and Leia’s burgeoning romance in EMPIRE, but there’re some nice little moments of character exploration, and a suitably “snuggly” atmosphere created by both the characters and Paul Chadwick’s surprisingly sensual art. Chadwick’s likenesses for the characters falters occasionally, but he’s mostly spot-on, and he always captures their essential nature. Much as I want CONCRETE material from him first and foremost, he’s also an artist I’d be happy to see on more STAR WARS comic projects. His finest artistic touch in the book is the instance of Star Wars aliens imagined as mini-Cupids around the decorative border on the second page – you haven’t lived till you’ve seen li’l versions of Jawas, the Ewoks, and even Jabba the Hutt with Cupid bows and arrows! The coloring is by Ken Steacy, whom you might remember as one of the few comic artists of the 80’s who knew how to do kick-ass airbrush art without veering into “van art” territory. His coloring is more subjective and moody than that of many modern colorists who’re too beholden to straightforward realism, and he’s yet another smart fit for the project.
Final judgment: This is the second STAR WARS comic I’ve enjoyed in as many weeks, so I’m either lowering my standards or Dark Horse is just getting more on the ball about giving old school STAR WARS fans some solid comics featuring the Original Trilogy’s characters in their prime. It’s really no different than finding renewed interest in an old favorite superhero comic, I suppose, when after a few years of floundering a new writer finally nails it. Here’s hoping it’s not a fluke, because I’m having a surprising amount of fun with these things.
Review Epilogue: The Valentine special also earns brownie points for featuring an ad for Paul Chadwick’s next CONCRETE project, described as “A story of sex, murder, overpopulation, and art collecting.” Chadwick never disappoints. I’m so there.
TRUE STORY, SWEAR TO GOD! : CHANCES ARE
Tom Beland
AiT/PlanetLar
reviewed by: Lizzybeth
I have never been a big fan of Valentine’s Day – forcing people to pretend to be romantic on a set day every year by purchasing expensive products and consumables doesn’t exactly pull at my heartstrings. Still, I found it appropriate that I would come across this real-life romance on Valentine’s Day. TRUE STORY is Tom Beland’s ode to his wife Lily, the unlikely autobiographical story of how the two of them met and fell in love, and what happened afterwards. Originally published under Clib’s Boy Comics, the first four issues are collected here in a more widely available edition from Ait/PlanetLar.
Napa Valley cartoonist Tom met the girl of his dreams while vacationing in Florida, finding her sitting at a Bus Stop while both are on their way to a Stevie Wonder concert. Striking up a conversation, the two of them hit it off immediately. They share one amazing night together, dancing and talking the night away, until they reluctantly part ways and return to their respective homes. In California, Tom tries to get back into the swing of his regular life, but he can’t stop thinking about this woman. She’s beautiful, she has a great personality, and she seems to return his feelings. Problem: Lily lives in Puerto Rico, thousands of miles away. Lily is thinking of Tom as well, but it seems crazy to call up a guy she just met for a single evening, who lives several time zones away, with small chance of seeing each other again. How likely is it that two people could maintain a relationship with so much distance, and difference, between them?
Well, we know that things will turn out well in the end, but it’s not entirely smooth sailing. Tom and Lily have both been through their share of hardships and rocky relationships, and are understandably nervous. There are frustrations, long periods of not being able to see each other, minor disasters when they do. Despite the heavy moments, the tone is largely one of romantic comedy. The book is surprisingly angst-free, using humor to balance out the intense emotions that can weigh down this kind of slice-of-life title. Beland’s humor-strip background comes in handy here, and he takes us smoothly through one entertaining situation after another, filling them with authentic and interesting characters. Artistically it has a very daily-strip look to it, showing the sort of comic timing and deceptively simple design that a creator would need for success in the funny pages. The style also helps to give the comic a universal quality, making it easy to identify with the archetypally-drawn characters. Their personalities are written all over their faces. And whether the situation is funny (Lily’s reaction to reading Tom’s prized copy of The Dark Knight Returns is, well, priceless), or serious (“God, look at her. She makes my T-shirt look like lingerie.”), the dialogue is even more poignant coming from these familiar-looking faces.
TRUE STORY does suffer from a typically autobiographical problem of not knowing which details to include and which to leave out, so it does tend to meander a little. Lots of things happen in a person’s life that they would consider important, but would not necessarily be important to a story about them. Some of these digressions do prove entertaining, like the newspaper office meeting in the second issue, and others feel extraneous. On the other hand, some other details would have seemed contrived had I not already known that all of this really happened. Be forewarned: the lonely and bitter contingent will probably find the comic insufferable - it’s just so sincere, unabashedly romantic, and lacking in cynicism or ironic detachment that it may be too much to take. For the rest of us, the comic is sweet and funny. When I start to think that a “feel-good comic” is becoming an oxymoron, I’ll read this book, and smile.
THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #613
Joe Casey – Writer
Derec Aucoin – Layouts
Derec Aucoin & Jose Marzan & John Stanisci – Finishes
Published DC Comics
Reviewed by Village Idiot
Why a FAQ review? Why now?
FAQ reviews are the cheapest, most efficient way to review something. When you write them, you don’t really have to worry about transitions or flow, the structure takes care of that for you. And the set-ups for droll commentary become much easier. Since I happen to be particularly lazy, and since AOS #613 is not that significant of a comic in the larger scheme of things, I figured I could get away with it this time.
So what is the AOS #613 about?
It's about a woman reporter who kills a small business owner.
Say what?
Just kidding. It's about how Lois Lane kills Funky Flashman, the unscrupulous and devious small business owner who's reaping the benefits of globalism and designer amphetamines.
Say whaaaaat?
No really. The Jack Kirby-created/Stan Lee-inspired Funky Flashman is exploiting Superman's logo by opening a Superman merchandise store where people can buy all the Superman logo products they seem to be wearing in ACTION #800; products made by a Third World labor force that is hopped up on goofballs designed to increase production. Lois intentionally plants the suggestion with Flashman could sell supervillain-inspired merchandise for even more money, knowing that the supervillains will wreak vengeance once they find out. You see, superheroes don't seem to mind being exploited, but apparently supervillains are very keenly geared towards intellectual property infringement. So Captain Cold ices him.
Did Lois know Funky Flashman was going to be killed?
Well no. But it was kind of like throwing somebody into a shark tank. I mean they could swim out...
Did Funky Flashman have it coming?
In the words of Clint Eastwood in the movie UNFORGIVEN, "We all have it coming, kid."
But really, Flashman was a weasel exploiting both people and goodwill. And a big beard. He deserved to be sued, maybe go to jail. But killed? Nah.
Are you sure Funky Flashman got killed?
Did you read that one Captain Cold issue of Flash? (No really, did you read it? It's a classic.) Captain Cold plays for keeps. We didn't actually see him get killed, but it's clearly within the realm of possibility.
What kind of name is "Funky Flashman"?
I think it's Swedish.
Anything else happen in the issue?
Superman and a very hot Lois recreated the balcony scene from Superman The Movie. It’s romantic stuff.
How was the romantic stuff?
Not bad. A little classy with the moonlight; kind of charming. Although I wonder how freaking long they can keep milking the movie. Here I’d thought Jeph Loeb had already sucked that bone dry.
So okay, we know what the issue is about. But what is the issue about, (man).
I suppose the issue was a commentary on the crass commercial exploitation of Superman via Superman merchandise, or the fact that Superman is really just a product to be sold merely to fill WB coffers with filthy lucre.
I find it ironic, however, that AOS criticizes Superman merchandising as crass exploitation, while ACTION #800, released this same week, sees the merchandise as a source of tribute and inspiration.
Personally, I don't begrudge WB for producing Superman merchandise. To my knowledge, the stuff sells at a reasonable market price, and I would assume that the labor practices behind the manufacturing to be at least on par with all the rest of the clothes I buy. And further, every time I see someone wearing something with a Superman symbol on it, I know that person is trying to say, on some level, that they're one of the good guys.
How was the art?
Pretty good. Although there's one specific panel where Lois looks googly-eyed for no apparent reason. The inking seemed a little better than what I’ve been getting on this title. It’s hard to dole out credit for the art since so many people are taking credit for the visuals on this issue.
On a conventional grading scale, what would you give this one?
I’d give it a C. Maybe C- if I'm feeling cranky.
Any last thoughts?
While I was reading this story, I was reminded of an 80’s Superman story about -- get this -- Superman's lawyer. It was goofy, but funny. Apparently, pre-Crisis, Superman had a lawyer to handle all these kinds of issues. I seem to recall he was a very good lawyer (he was Superman's lawyer, what would you expect?). Frankly, I probably would have preferred Superman's lawyer handling things rather than Captain Cold taking icy vengeance. Or maybe even Captain Cold's lawyer.
@$$HOLE CASTING COUCH!
Greetings, all. Ambush Bug here with another @$$hole Casting Couch. Comic book films can’t be any hotter at the moment. The movie world has gone four-color-crazy and I couldn’t be happier. Not only was SPIDER-MAN one of the biggest selling DVDs of last year, but word has it that Marvel’s latest foray from page to screen, DAREDEVIL, is the number one film in the country. And you know what that means? There’s going to be a buttload more of them coming round the bend. This Bug just put a new plastic cover on the Casting Couch to offer fresh, new casting suggestions to those big time movie execs who have never cracked open a comic in their lives (and hey, click on the actors’ names below to link to their credits).
This week we’re going to cast one of Marvel’s greatest properties, THE MIGHTY THOR. You see, I’m torn about this one. Part of me would love to see an animated project come together from PIXAR or DISNEY. I think a film in the vein of FINAL FANTASY would make this tale of the gods of Asgard and their adventures on Earth memorable and fun.
Then again a real life, balls-to-wall, barbarian film would rock too. With the success of LORD OF THE RINGS, a film depicting gods and monsters would combine the best aspects of the superhero and fantasy genres. But even casting a film like that pulls me in two directions. You see, everyone and his mother thinks of Thor as a six and a half foot tall blonde Norseman. Short of casting a WWF wrestler who can’t act, I wouldn’t know who to turn to. Russell Crowe was on everybody’s casting list from Batman to Captain Canuck and the actor does have the talent and stature to pull off the role, but to me, the most memorable Thor stories focus a younger Thunder God and I don’t think the big guy is right for the role.
At its core, Thor’s story is a tale of a father trying to prepare his son for the responsibilities of adulthood. Allfather Odin has been prepping Thor for the throne of Asgard since the character was introduced waaay back when. That’s the reason Thor was linked to Dr. Donald Blake. It’s why he was banished to Earth. Odin has tried everything to get his son to quit goofing around with Frost Giants and the Masters of Evil and prepare him for ruling the Realm of Asgard should the Allfather ever fall. A Thor film should center around a brash young god who is sent to Earth by his father to learn a lesson of adulthood. Unfortunately, the evils of Asgard follow the young Thunder God and wreak havoc on Earth. It’s up to Thor to take responsibility and defend the Earth, thus gaining the respect of his father.
Since this is a tale of a father and a son, I think a younger actor might be more fitting for a Thor film. That’s why I’m going with talented young actor, Heath Ledger for the role of young Thor from all of those TALES OF ASGARD stories. I know, I know. The curse of TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU and A KNIGHT’S TALE looms ominously over this actor, but I think his performances in THE PATRIOT and THE FOUR FEATHERS proved to me that he could be capable of lifting Mjolnir high. He’s young. He’s got a wide face. Send him to the weight room for a couple of months and I think the guy would do a phenomenal job swinging that mystical hammer.
Odin the Allfather needs to be an actor who’s presence on the screen exudes power and royalty. Actor supreme, Robert Duvall, may be folically challenged, but slap a wig and fake beard on him, and the guy is Odin.
Man does Thor have a big cast. There are so many characters that have appeared throughout the years that I would love to see. Lady Sif, Thor’s warrior love, would have to be in this one. I like to call her the future Mrs. Ambush Bug, but the rest of the world knows her as Sophie Marceau. I think she would be perfect as the regal and beautiful, but deadly female warrior.
Balder the Brave may not be the most interesting character in Asgard, but every prince needs a noble friend. Henry Thomas has been playing the noble friend for a while now, most recently in GANGS OF NEW YORK. I think he’d be good as Thor’s bud too.
Much to Lady Sif’s disdain, one of the things that Thor found so appealing about his banishment to Earth was the lovely Dr. Jane Foster. Talented actress, Claire Forlani, is classy and spunky enough to give Sif a run for her money for Thor’s heart.
So what about the bad guys? Well, I’m sure this film would have its share of Frost Giants and Trolls. Maybe even a fire breathing Surtur would show up. CGI would be best for these creatures. But as for the more human villains, we have to start out with he baddest of them all. Loki, the god of mischief and evil and Thor’s jealous half brother is one of the most despicable villains in comics. I’d have to go with another talented actor, Joaquin Phoenix. He’s proved himself in dark roles before and I think he’d do it again here.
Amora the Enchantress can make any man do whatever she wants. I’d cast uber-hottie Bijou Phillips in the role as the woman out to overthrow Asgard, one seduced heart at time.
Not all of Thor’s foes come from Asgard. Crusher Creel was granted power from Asgardian magick to become the Absorbing Man. WWF wrestler, Stone Cold Steve Austin would be ideal for the role of the wrecking ball swinging madman.
When the Frost Giants and the Trolls attack New York, Thor is going to need some help. What’s a Tale of Asgard without the Warriors Three? Sure they may be Three Musketeer knockoffs. Sure they may be just like the Elf, Dwarf, Viggo combo of LOTR. But it just wouldn’t be a Thor film without Fandral, Volstagg, and Hogun. Fandral The Dashing should be charming and suave. I’d pick Cary Elwes from THE PRINCESS BRIDE as the swashbuckler. Oded Fehr from THE MUMMY movies is dark and brooding enough to play Hogun the Grim. And for Volstagg, I’d go with the amazing actor, Timothy Spall from ROCKSTAR and ALL OR NOTHING as the jovial, but still dangerous third Warrior.
A Thor film could be the comic book equivalent of LORD OF THE RINGS. It has fantasy, a powerful message, amazing heroes, and truly despicable villains. Out of all of Marvel’s properties, this is the one I would most want to see done right. In the right hands, THE MIGHTY THOR could be Superman meets Middle Earth. As always, I invite you all to agree, disagree, tear us a new one, or put together your own cast. I’m sure every @$$hole in the Talkbacks has an opinion or two. Let ‘em rip.
