Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
As we do each year, it’s time to give a rundown of the titles that we’re curious about covering here at AICN for the upcoming year. Now what Harry, Quint, Father Geek and I are all looking for in regards to these titles is everything you can find. We’re interested in looking at screenplays, production artwork, behind the scenes photos, official photos, possible interviews, trailers, early reviews based on Test Screenings or any other way you can see the film in question. We’ll do our best to find out things on our own, but this is a two way street. We’re only as good as you guys and gals help us to be. Also, if you happen across a film or a project that isn’t on this list that we should be covering, whether it is an independent, a foreign film or a secret project, we do want to know! So look at the list, and if you see something you know about, send your email to Harry, Moriarty, Quint, Father Geek or even that Mr Beaks bastige!! We look forward to another great year of bringing you the coolest news on film around!
Now... on to the list:
For A,B,C, click here!!!
For D,E,F, click here!!!
GEORGE & THE DRAGON (2003) Directed by Tom Reeve. This is an independent fantasy film with a historical setting, and Reeve is making his debut as a director. He’s one of the producers of last year’s cult hit DOG SOLDIERS, and this time he’s working with German funding and actors like Michael Clarke Duncan, Piper Perabo, Paul Freeman, and Patrick Swayze.
GIGLI (2003) Written and directed by Martin Brest, something that hasn’t happened since GOING IN STYLE, a film I adore. I certainly hope Brest pulls this off, but the early buzz has been horrible from the people who have been to the various test screenings. Revolution Studios ended up springing for extensive reshoots to try and salvage this mob comedy starring Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck, and Al Pacino, so the release date is still up in the air.
GIN & TONIC (2003) Written and directed by David Eric Brenner, who I know nothing about. I’m interested because this is “the life story of the late Graham Chapman, legendary founding member of Monty Python. The film uses Chapman's own unseen personal papers and unpublished memoirs in order to recreate his years at Cambridge University, medical school, the Monty Python years, his struggles with alcohol, his ground-breaking stance on homosexuality, his exploits with John Cleese, Keith Moon, Harry Nilsson, Ringo Starr, and his untimely death at age 48, of cancer.” That’s according to the IMDb, and a description like that means a raving Python fanboy like me is there as soon as possible.
THE GIRL NEXT DOOR (2003) Written and directed by Luke Greenfield. This Fox 2000 comedy may be from the director of THE ANIMAL, but he also made the very promising short film THE RIGHT HOOK, so here’s hoping he’s made the most of a cast that includes 24’s resident hottie Elisha Cuthbert and Emile Hirsch, who made a strong debut in THE DANGEROUS LIVES OF ALTAR BOYS. The film is about a teenager who falls in love with a porn star who moves in next door to him in the suburbs.
GODFORSAKEN (2003) Directed by Mike van Diem. Written by Nick Cassavetes. If you’ve seen van Diem’s CHARACTER, you might understand why I am curious about this one, even if I don’t know anything about the premise. All I know is that it’s a crime drama, and Wesley Snipes is in it. That’s enough for me.
GODS AND GENERALS (2003) Directed by Ronald Maxwell, who also directed GETTYSBURG, to which this is a prequel. Personally, I spent several years living in Chattanooga, where there seems to be a battlefield in everyone’s backyard, and growing up in the South means I got all the Civil War schoolin’ I’d ever need, and then some, but there’s definitely a hunger for info on this film based on the mail I get about it.
GODSEND (2003) Directed by Nick Hamm, who made the horror film THE HOLE. This one seems like a case of spectacular good timing. It’s a story about cloning a couple’s dead son with Greg Kinnear and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos as the couple and Robert De Niro as their doctor. It’s a horror film, evidently, so don’t expect a pro-cloning tract.
THE GOOD SHEPHERD (2004) Directed by Robert De Niro. Written by Eric Roth. This is a legendary script in town, which explains why Zoetrope, Tribeca, and Universal are all involved in finally bringing it to the screen. This marks the first time De Niro will work with Di Caprio since MARVIN’S ROOM, and any fan of THIS BOY’S LIFE knows that should be a very good thing, indeed.
H.R. PUFNSTUF (2003) Directed by Mike Mitchell, who also has the comedy SURVIVING CHRISTMAS coming out this year. There’s a bunch of companies, like Columbia, Paramount, Rhino, and Nickelodeon involved in this one, but so far, things are quiet. Is it really happening? Has it been pushed back? How stoned will we have to be to enjoy it? These questions demand answers!!
HARRY KNUCKLES AND THE PEARL NECKLACE (2003) You can go ahead and write your own filthy jokes involving Headgeek (heh heh heh) and bukkake (ewwwwwww). This has Lloyd Kaufman in it, so you know it’s going to be A-list all the way.
HARRY POTTER & THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN (2004) Directed by Alphonso Cuaron. Written by Steve Kloves. Early word coming in here at the Moriarty Labs is that Cuaron is shaking up this franchise, and in a good way. He’s evidently questioning everything that’s come before, determined to retain what’s good and improve everything else. I got in a rumor over the weekend that Ian Brown (of the Stone Roses) has signed on for a small part in the film, and that casting efforts continue on characters like Sirius Black. Oh, and for the record, I don't care who's playing Dumbledore. Harry pranked me last week, and as a result, I've gotten so much e-mail on the matter that I hate the mere word now. I'm sure Warner Bros. will announce a decision soon. In the meantime, please give me some peace.
HARRY POTTER & THE GOBLET OF FIRE (2005) Directed by Alphonso Cuaron (??) Written by Steve Kloves. Here’s the big question mark in the POTTER franchise. All along, Chris Columbus (who’s still onboard as a producer, keep in mind) has said that they will likely tackle this as two sequels in the same year. I’m guessing the final decision will be based on how MATRIX RELOADED and MATRIX REVOLUTIONS do this year. At any rate, this is a challenge for any creative team involved, especially if they’re going to try to remain faithful to the 4,443,528 page book.
THE HAUNTED LIGHTHOUSE (2003) Directed by Joe Dante. Written by Sam Hamm. Now, either Dante or Hamm would fill me with glee most of the time, but I’m not sure what to think of this adaptation of one of R.L. Stine’s stories. I don’t think much of his crappy, rehashed ghost stories for kids, and the cast that includes Christopher Lloyd, Michael McKean, Weird Al, and THE RING’s Daveigh Chase doesn’t really do it for me either. Is this done? Is this coming out before LOONEY TUNES? Whassup?!
THE HAUNTED MANSION (2003) Directed by Rob Minkoff. Looks like there’s a lot of stuff that’s going to be “haunted” for family audiences this year. Eddie Murphy stars in this one, and I think I’m more interested in Disney’s other ride-turned-film this summer, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN. At least that one is sort of aimed at a more adult audience. My one hope for this is that it works on some level bringing some of the great images from the ride to life. I grew up at Walt Disney World, and I love the Haunted Mansion to death. Please, guys... just don’t desecrate this one, and you’ll make people happy.
HAVANA NIGHTS: DIRTY DANCING 2 (2003) Directed by Guy Ferland, who made the decent and fairly overlooked TELLING LIES IN AMERICA. Come on, though... admit it. Your wife or girlfriend is going to drag you to see this. Just deal with it now. And don’t worry... Romola Garai (NICHOLAS NICKLEBY) is adorable, and Diego Luna (Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN) should be far less instantly cheesy than Swayze was. All I know is, if someone says, “Nobody puts Baby in the corner,” I’m going to stand up and start the wave in the theater.
HAVOC (2003) Directed by Geoffrey Wright. Written by Stephen Gaghan. I love ROMPER STOMPER dearly, and no matter what Wright has done since, I get the feeling he’s never really been turned loose again. What is this crime drama about? Who’s releasing it? And will it finally give Wright the right material so he can shine?
HEAD IN THE CLOUDS (2003) Written and directed by John Duigan. Duigan’s a thoughtful filmmaker whose work includes FLIRTING and THE YEAR MY VOICE BROKE, but most importantly, he’s the guy who directed the arthouse nude fest SIRENS, which featured everyone stripping, including Elle McPherson. This time around, he’s directing Penelope Cruz and Natalie Portman. Oh please, God. Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease...
HEAD OF STATE (2003) Directed by Chris Rock. When the leading candidate for the Democrats dies during the Presidential race, fate somehow pushes Chris Rock into the spotlight, and he runs with his brother-in-law Bernie Mac along as Vice-President. Hilarity, I’m sure, ensues, and if they’re smart, they just might find some real comic gold in a premise this ripe.
HEART OF LOVE (2003) Artisan is finally getting around to releasing this long-discussed and much-rumored follow-up film to THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT by Daniel Myrick and Ed Sanchez. Is there any way they can hope to win in a situation like this? We’ll see this year, hopefully. Besides, they’ve got Don Knotts in their film, supposedly. And that’s a good thing, right?
THE HEBREW HAMMER (2003) It’s got Adam Goldberg in it. It’s about a Jewish superhero. It’s playing at Sundance. And it’s got Judy Greer, Andy Dick, and Melvin and Mario Van Peebles in it. So, yeah, I’m curious.
HELLBOY (2004) Written and directed by Guillermo Del Toro. If you’re not excited about this one yet, I don’t know what’s wrong with you. Del Toro’s been on a roll in the last few years, and Mike Mignola’s comic is one of the most unique on the market. Everything I’ve seen design-wise is exceptional, and Ron Perelman was born to play this part. Expect this one to rock... very, very hard.
HELLDORADO (2003) Directed by Peter Berg. This one stars The Rock, Seann William Scott (who seems to want to be an action hero real, real bad) and Christopher Walken in a story about a bounty hunter in the Amazon. Expect big giant action. This is really the test for The Rock, who had it easy in THE SCORPION KING. Can he open an original, and can he make it work? Universal certainly thinks so.
HIDALGO (2003) Directed by Joe Johnston, who appears to be working in OCTOBER SKY mode here with the story of Frank T. Hopkins, played here by newly annointed geek god Viggo Mortensen. Hopkins was one of the greatest long-distance endurance horse riders ever, and this true story could turn out to be like last year’s THE ROOKIE. There’s buzz that the budget’s growing and the schedule’s shrinking, though, so we’ll see what Johnston does under pressure.
HIGHBINDERS (2003) Jackie Chan and Lee Evans try to stop an international slavery ring in this film that Jackie seemed very excited about when I met him just over a year ago. Claire Forlani and Julian Sands also star.
HIGHLANDER: THE SOURCE (2003) Directed by Russell Mulcahy, this is a prequel of sorts to the series of films. Adrian Paul evidently will not return, although Chris Lambert might, for the story of four new Immortal characters who embark on a quest to learn the origin of the Immortals. Are there still fans of this series? Not that Dimension would ever stop pumping out anemic sequels to a franchise of theirs, of course. Just asking.
HOLES (2003) Directed by Andrew Davis and based on the novel by Louis Sachar. Walt Disney Pictures is releasing this one starring Sigourney Weaver, Jon Voight, Tim Blake Nelson, and a whole bunch of kids. Weaver, the hard-nosed warden of a juvenile detention center, puts all her kids to work digging holes, supposedly as a punishment that will build character. In actuality, she’s looking for a rumored buried treasure. This book is evidently quite popular, and there are fans clamoring for any info about how the film is coming together.
HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE (2003) Written and directed by Ron Shelton, this film stars Harrison Ford, Josh Hartnett, Eric Idle, Keith David, Bruce Greenwood, and Martin Landau, among others. Ford is Joe Gavilian, an LAPD homicide detective who moonlights as a real estate agent. Hartnett, his partner, is also a yoga instructor and wants to be an actor. Together, they get involved in a mystery involving the death of a rap group who are killed onstage. Isaiah Washington is basically playing Suge Knight here, a rap label boss who may or may not be killing artists who want out of their contracts. I hear this one plays real tongue in cheek, and that Ford in particular has been pushing the comedy envelope as much as possible.
HOME ON THE RANGE (2004) This is a Disney animated film, but what exactly does that mean these days? Their more traditional films tank (TREASURE PLANET), while their oddball little experiments turn out to be gems (LILO & STITCH). Which sort of film is this musical western with voices by Roseanne, Judi Dench, Randy Quaid, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Cuba Gooding Jr.? Guess we’ll see next year.
HONEY (2003) Directed by Billie Woodruff, a music video director making a feature debut here. Susannah Grant (28 DAYS) wrote the script that will see Jessica Alba play a “tough sexy dancer from the inner city” who becomes an acclaimed music video choreographer. Mekhi Phifer, L’il Romeo also star. Oh, please, let this be this year’s GLITTER. Alba in hot pants just sounds too camp to miss.
HONG KONG PHOOEY (200?) Originally set for 2003, this was supposed to be directed by Brett Ratner, but now that he’s moved on to SUPERMAN, what will happen to “number one super guy”? I’m sure New Line is dying to know.
HOSTAGE (2004) Robert Crais is one of the biggest names in mainstream mystery novels these days, and Bruce Willis is producing and starring in this film which Crais is adapting from one of his own books for Revolution Studios. Anything that gives Bruce a chance to stretch is okay by me.
THE HOT ZONE (2003) Directed by Scott McGehee and David Siegel, this project’s taken a long time to finally make it to the screen. There was a point where Linda Obst and Fox were racing to beat Warner’s OUTBREAK to the screen, and Ridley Scott almost directed Jodie Foster in the film. Now, almost a decade later, the creative team behind SUTURE and THE DEEP END is finally doing the job, and if they manage to capture any of the nightmare imagery of Richard Preston’s nonfiction book, my germ phobia might come roaring back to life despite all the therapy. Yeeeesh.
HOUSE OF SAND & FOG (2003) Written and directed by Vadim Perelman. How did this first time filmmaker end up with Dreamworks releasing his movie that stars Jennifer Connelly in her first big post-Oscar role? Beats me, but I’m curious about this drama that centers on a woman trying to keep her house following the death of her husband. Ben Kingsley and Ron Eldard costar.
THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD (2003) Directed by Uwe Boll. This trailer is the very definition of hilarious. I hope Mark Altman and his collaborators mean this as a semi-comedy, because if this is supposed to be straight horror, I think they missed the mark.
THE HULK (2003) Directed by Ang Lee. Written by a whole damn bunch of people. Big fucking duh. Of course we’re interested. The Superbowl spot that premieres the Hulk should get people talking, but no matter what, I’m going to put my faith in Ang Lee, who has proven quite nimble when switching genres before. His EAT, DRINK, MONSTER, WOMAN can’t get here soon enough for me.
THE HUMAN STAIN (2003) Directed by Robert Benton, and adapted by Nicholas Meyer from Philip Roth’s novel. This is bound to be one of next year’s big Oscar contenders, especially if Miramax has anything to say about it. This is the story of Coleman Silk, played by Anthony Hopkins, a classics professor with a terrible secret that shatters his life in a small New England town. His affair with a young troubled janitor, played by the decidely unjanitorial Nicole Kidman, is uncovered. A writer named Zuckerman, played by Gary Sinise, is the one who stumbles upon Silk’s secret, and it’s up to him to redeem the man’s public image afterwards.
THE HUNTED (2003) Directed by William Friedkin, this is the film where Tommy Lee Jones evidently injured Benecio Del Toro during a fight scene, meaning production had to shut down for a while. The trailer for the film is interesting, although it looks a little close to THE FUGITIVE for Jones. Here’s hoping it’s a primal action film that allows Friedkin a grace note at this late date. I’m always rooting for the man who made SORCERER and TO LIVE OR DIE IN L.A. (finally hitting DVD this year) to make a glorious comeback.
THE HUSBAND I BOUGHT (2003) Directed by Stephan Elliott, and based on a novella by Ayn Rand. “An architect goes on a downward spiral when a building he designed collapses, killing several people, and threatening his perfect marriage to a wealthy woman,” according to the IMDb. Ashley Judd, Vincent Perez, and Charlize Theron all star, and it’ll be interesting to see if the once-promising Elliott can reverse his own downward spiral, so clearly marked by films like EYE OF THE BEHOLDER.
THE I INSIDE (2003) Directed by Roland Richter. This is a memory/lost identity film along the lines of MEMENTO, with Ryan Phillipe starring as a man who wakes up in a hospital with no memory of the last two years. As he tries to piece things together, he finds he has the ability to slip from 2002 to 1999, and he begins to work out who he is. At least it’s not another sequel from Dimension. Let’s hope it’s one of their small gems like BELOW or EQUILIBRIUM.
I LOVE YOUR WORK (2003) Directed by Adam Goldberg. That’s good news for anyone who got to see his short film SCOTCH & MILK. In this, a famous filmmaker has a nervous breakdown and starts stalking a film student who has been a longtime fan of his. He’s got a great cast including Giovanni Ribisi, Franka Potente, Josh Jackson, Marisa Coughlin, Christina Ricci, Jared Harris, Elvis Costello, Ben Foster, and Nicky Katt, so I’m very eager to get a peek.
I, ROBOT (2004) Directed by Alex Proyas. Written by Jeff Vintner. This started life as an original spec script called HARDWIRED, but Proyas and Vintner eventually shaped it into a film that may serve as the springboard for a franchise of films based on Asimov’s famous ROBOT novels. I’m intrigued, and the casting of Will Smith should give you an idea of just how big a picture 20th Century Fox sees this as.
I WITNESS (2003) Directed by Rowdy Herrington. If I didn’t put this thriller from the director of ROAD HOUSE on the list, Mr. Beaks would kill me. You see, Beaks believes ROAD HOUSE to be a classic on par with LAWRENCE OF ARABIA and 8 ½. Seriously. You should write to him to share your own feelings on the subject. Seriously.
I’LL BE THERE (2003) Directed by Craig Ferguson. You might remember him from THE DREW CARREY SHOW, where he’s the deranged English boss. He also made a fairly funny film called THE BIG TEASE a few years back. In this one, he’s a fading ‘80’s pop star who learns he has a daughter from one of his one-night stands. The daughter’s played by Charlotte Church. I fully expect a ream of inappropriate jokes about her ass in the TalkBack below. Don’t disappoint me, boys.
I’LL SLEEP WHEN I’M DEAD (2003) Directed by Mike Hodges, who made CROUPIER and FLASH GORDON and the original GET CARTER. That’s reason enough to want to see this one. Besides, I don’t know anything else about it, aside from the fact that it stars Clive Owen and Malcolm McDowell.
IDENTITY (2003) Written and directed by James Mangold. People either love this one, or they hate it. Reactions from the test screenings have been all over the place, but the trailer’s pretty spiffy, and it’s got a huge ensemble cast. The one thing I felt most strongly about the script is that after this, I don’t ever want to see another “shocking twist ending” again. Please.
IF YOU WERE MY GIRL (2003) This is a remake of CAN’T BUY ME LOVE. The Patrick Dempsey film. Seriously.
IMAGINING ARGENTINA (2003) Written and directed by Christopher Hampton, who made the severely underrated THE SECRET AGENT, and who worked with David Lean on the unfilmed NOSTROMO. Despite knowing nothing about the premise, Hampton’s involvement makes me curious.
INDIANA JONES 4 (2005) Directed by Steven Spielberg. Written by Frank Darabont. There have been a lot of bad scripts written for this one over the years, but if anyone's got the passion and the talent to make it work, it's Darabont, who worked on YOUNG INDIANA JONES CHRONICLES early in his career, and who adores the character and the franchise. Here's hoping he crafts something truly worthy of bringing this series back, and here's wondering how Spielberg, who has changed so much as a filmmaker in recent years, is going to slip back into this.
IN GOD’S HANDS (2003) Written and directed by Lodge Kerrigan. This guy made CLEAN, SHAVEN, one of the great unconventional horror films I’ve ever seen, so whatever this is, I’m interested. Besides, it’s a Section Eight production, and they’re one of the most interesting companies in town right now. And it stars both new cutie Maggie Gyllenhaal and ‘80’s betty Elizabeth McGovern, who I haven’t seen in forever. Sounds good to me.
IN THE CUT (2003) Written and directed by Jane Campion, adapted from the novel. This one’s taken forever to make it to the screen, but any time Campion works, I’m going to pay attention. I may have loathed PORTRAIT OF A LADY, and I wasn’t nuts about HOLY SMOKE!, but I still think Campion’s the real deal, a filmmaker with a remarkable voice, and she’s always capable of hitting a home run, especially with a cast like Meg Ryan, Mark Ruffalo, Jennifer Jason Leigh, and Kevin Bacon.
THE INCREDIBLES (2004) Written and directed by Brad Bird. Simply put, there’s no other title in 2004 that I am more excited about. Brad Bird’s THE IRON GIANT is a modern classic, and the idea of him working with Pixar on this story of a family of superheros trying to live incognito in the suburbs makes me tingle. I expect nothing less than staggering genius.
THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN (2004) Directed by Keenan Ivory Wayans. Universal’s already remade this SF classic once as a comedy to disastrous effect with Lily Tomlin, so even though Eddie Murphy’s set to star in this, I hope they play it at least somewhat serious. I have no idea what direction the material’s headed, and if you do, get in touch with me and ease my fears. I beg you.
THE INFORMANT (2003) Directed by Steven Soderbergh. For a lot of viewers, Soderbergh’s got an uphill battle all over again now that he pissed away the goodwill he earned on TRAFFIC and ERIN BROKOVICH with more personal films like SOLARIS and FULL FRONTAL. Personally, I think the guy’s one of the most interesting filmmakers working, and whatever he wants to do, I’ll be sure and check it out. Yes, it’s about a price-fixing scandal and a decade long investigation by the FBI, which doesn’t sound like the most absorbing material, but I’ll still give him the benefit of the doubt.
INTERMISSION (2003) I’m not sure if Dreamworks is just releasing this Irish film with Colin Farrell and Kelly McDonald, or if they’re producing it, too. Either way, this sounds like a smaller, more intimate affair for Farrell following a series of big Hollywood pictures.
INTOLERABLE CRUELTY (2003) Directed by Joel Coen. Written by (over the years) Joel and Ethan Coen, Andrew Bergman, Robert Ramsey and Matthew Stone, and Jonathan Demme. I haven’t read the shooting draft of this one, but it can’t miss. First of all, the Coen Bros. are incapable of screwing up at this point. It’s a scientific fact. Add George Clooney and Catherine Zeta-Jones into the mix, and things start to look pretty golden. Clooney plays a lawyer who specializes in creating iron-clad prenup agreements and getting his all-male client roster the most amazing divorce settlements possible. Zeta-Jones plays a woman who is determined to get him to marry her without signing a prenup so that she can divorce him and destroy him. Throw in Geoffrey Rush and Billy Bob Thornton and Cedric The Entertainer, and that sounds like the recipe for one kick-ass dark comedy to me. You thought WAR OF THE ROSES played rough? Suit up, ‘cause someone’s getting hurt in this one.
LES INVASIONS BARBARES (2003) Written and directed by Denys Arcand. Like Atom Egoyan, Arcand is a Canadian director who’s carved out a fairly personal career for himself over the years. He manages to come up with a winner every so often, and it would be great if this was one of them.
THE ITALIAN JOB (2003) Directed by F. Gary Gray, this remake is sure to irritate Brits, who are deeply possessive of the original 1968 heist film. In this remake, Mark Wahlberg heads up a gang that includes Ed Norton, Charlize Theron, Seth Green, Jason Statham, and Mos Def, while Donald Sutherland tries to catch them. Their plan is to create the largest traffic jam in LA history, steal some gold, then use a fleet of Mini Coopers (cars small enough to drive on sidewalks, in case you’ve never seen one) to escape while the cops can’t pursue them. Considering they’re just starting to market the Mini in America, this could turn into a feature film version of what BMW’s been doing with directors for the past year or so.
JEEPERS CREEPERS 2 (2003) Directed by Victor Salva. The original divided audiences, and I can see why. I’m willing to forgive much of the film’s second half because of the confidence of the first half, but some viewers weren’t willing to forgive Salva his own real-life transgressions. Chances are, you already know if you’re going to see this sequel, which has little to do with the original beyond the involvement of The Creeper. I’m willing to give Salva a chance based on the stuff that did work last time out. Anyone who can make a horror film that genuinely works, even if only in fits and starts, is ahead of the game these days.
JERSEY GIRL (2003) Written and directed by Kevin Smith. This is the other film with Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez this year, and I must admit... I’m curious to see what a PG-13 Kevin Smith film sounds like. More importantly, I’m dying to know what a Vilmos Zsigmond-lensed Kevin Smith film looks like. Here’s hoping he’s finally made something that looks like it cost more than $14, and that his trademark rapid-fire wit isn’t muted by his conscious decision to play clean.
JOHN DOE (2004) Written and directed by Zack Penn. I’ve got the script for this one and a nearly-complete set of storyboards sitting on a shelf here in the Labs, and I’m fairly confident that Penn is up to something special. Wesley Snipes has finally been cast in the title role (although that title may well change after the TV show of the same name has stolen its thunder), and if the film delivers on the promise that I see in it, then Snipes may have a new franchise on his hands. It’s hard to talk about the film’s story without giving it away, but I’ll say that fans of BLADE RUNNER or UNBREAKABLE should plan right now to see this when it hits theaters next year.
JUMANJI 2 (2004) There have been a lot of false starts on this one, and there’s no guarantee that it’s actually being made now. Regardless, Sony seems to be moving ahead with a sequel set in and around Paris, and still centered on that strange and powerful board game. It’s a fun premise, even if the first film didn’t quite figure out what to do with it. Maybe the development time here will pay off in something better.
And that’s it. Harry’s going to be back in a few days with K-L-M-N-O, a truly Herculean task, and then I’ll follow up with P-Q-R-S-T. We’re almost finished, and we appreciate your patience as we put these lists together.
"Moriarty" out.
For D,E,F, click here!!!
GEORGE & THE DRAGON (2003) Directed by Tom Reeve. This is an independent fantasy film with a historical setting, and Reeve is making his debut as a director. He’s one of the producers of last year’s cult hit DOG SOLDIERS, and this time he’s working with German funding and actors like Michael Clarke Duncan, Piper Perabo, Paul Freeman, and Patrick Swayze.
GIGLI (2003) Written and directed by Martin Brest, something that hasn’t happened since GOING IN STYLE, a film I adore. I certainly hope Brest pulls this off, but the early buzz has been horrible from the people who have been to the various test screenings. Revolution Studios ended up springing for extensive reshoots to try and salvage this mob comedy starring Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck, and Al Pacino, so the release date is still up in the air.
GIN & TONIC (2003) Written and directed by David Eric Brenner, who I know nothing about. I’m interested because this is “the life story of the late Graham Chapman, legendary founding member of Monty Python. The film uses Chapman's own unseen personal papers and unpublished memoirs in order to recreate his years at Cambridge University, medical school, the Monty Python years, his struggles with alcohol, his ground-breaking stance on homosexuality, his exploits with John Cleese, Keith Moon, Harry Nilsson, Ringo Starr, and his untimely death at age 48, of cancer.” That’s according to the IMDb, and a description like that means a raving Python fanboy like me is there as soon as possible.
THE GIRL NEXT DOOR (2003) Written and directed by Luke Greenfield. This Fox 2000 comedy may be from the director of THE ANIMAL, but he also made the very promising short film THE RIGHT HOOK, so here’s hoping he’s made the most of a cast that includes 24’s resident hottie Elisha Cuthbert and Emile Hirsch, who made a strong debut in THE DANGEROUS LIVES OF ALTAR BOYS. The film is about a teenager who falls in love with a porn star who moves in next door to him in the suburbs.
GODFORSAKEN (2003) Directed by Mike van Diem. Written by Nick Cassavetes. If you’ve seen van Diem’s CHARACTER, you might understand why I am curious about this one, even if I don’t know anything about the premise. All I know is that it’s a crime drama, and Wesley Snipes is in it. That’s enough for me.
GODS AND GENERALS (2003) Directed by Ronald Maxwell, who also directed GETTYSBURG, to which this is a prequel. Personally, I spent several years living in Chattanooga, where there seems to be a battlefield in everyone’s backyard, and growing up in the South means I got all the Civil War schoolin’ I’d ever need, and then some, but there’s definitely a hunger for info on this film based on the mail I get about it.
GODSEND (2003) Directed by Nick Hamm, who made the horror film THE HOLE. This one seems like a case of spectacular good timing. It’s a story about cloning a couple’s dead son with Greg Kinnear and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos as the couple and Robert De Niro as their doctor. It’s a horror film, evidently, so don’t expect a pro-cloning tract.
THE GOOD SHEPHERD (2004) Directed by Robert De Niro. Written by Eric Roth. This is a legendary script in town, which explains why Zoetrope, Tribeca, and Universal are all involved in finally bringing it to the screen. This marks the first time De Niro will work with Di Caprio since MARVIN’S ROOM, and any fan of THIS BOY’S LIFE knows that should be a very good thing, indeed.
H.R. PUFNSTUF (2003) Directed by Mike Mitchell, who also has the comedy SURVIVING CHRISTMAS coming out this year. There’s a bunch of companies, like Columbia, Paramount, Rhino, and Nickelodeon involved in this one, but so far, things are quiet. Is it really happening? Has it been pushed back? How stoned will we have to be to enjoy it? These questions demand answers!!
HARRY KNUCKLES AND THE PEARL NECKLACE (2003) You can go ahead and write your own filthy jokes involving Headgeek (heh heh heh) and bukkake (ewwwwwww). This has Lloyd Kaufman in it, so you know it’s going to be A-list all the way.
HARRY POTTER & THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN (2004) Directed by Alphonso Cuaron. Written by Steve Kloves. Early word coming in here at the Moriarty Labs is that Cuaron is shaking up this franchise, and in a good way. He’s evidently questioning everything that’s come before, determined to retain what’s good and improve everything else. I got in a rumor over the weekend that Ian Brown (of the Stone Roses) has signed on for a small part in the film, and that casting efforts continue on characters like Sirius Black. Oh, and for the record, I don't care who's playing Dumbledore. Harry pranked me last week, and as a result, I've gotten so much e-mail on the matter that I hate the mere word now. I'm sure Warner Bros. will announce a decision soon. In the meantime, please give me some peace.
HARRY POTTER & THE GOBLET OF FIRE (2005) Directed by Alphonso Cuaron (??) Written by Steve Kloves. Here’s the big question mark in the POTTER franchise. All along, Chris Columbus (who’s still onboard as a producer, keep in mind) has said that they will likely tackle this as two sequels in the same year. I’m guessing the final decision will be based on how MATRIX RELOADED and MATRIX REVOLUTIONS do this year. At any rate, this is a challenge for any creative team involved, especially if they’re going to try to remain faithful to the 4,443,528 page book.
THE HAUNTED LIGHTHOUSE (2003) Directed by Joe Dante. Written by Sam Hamm. Now, either Dante or Hamm would fill me with glee most of the time, but I’m not sure what to think of this adaptation of one of R.L. Stine’s stories. I don’t think much of his crappy, rehashed ghost stories for kids, and the cast that includes Christopher Lloyd, Michael McKean, Weird Al, and THE RING’s Daveigh Chase doesn’t really do it for me either. Is this done? Is this coming out before LOONEY TUNES? Whassup?!
THE HAUNTED MANSION (2003) Directed by Rob Minkoff. Looks like there’s a lot of stuff that’s going to be “haunted” for family audiences this year. Eddie Murphy stars in this one, and I think I’m more interested in Disney’s other ride-turned-film this summer, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN. At least that one is sort of aimed at a more adult audience. My one hope for this is that it works on some level bringing some of the great images from the ride to life. I grew up at Walt Disney World, and I love the Haunted Mansion to death. Please, guys... just don’t desecrate this one, and you’ll make people happy.
HAVANA NIGHTS: DIRTY DANCING 2 (2003) Directed by Guy Ferland, who made the decent and fairly overlooked TELLING LIES IN AMERICA. Come on, though... admit it. Your wife or girlfriend is going to drag you to see this. Just deal with it now. And don’t worry... Romola Garai (NICHOLAS NICKLEBY) is adorable, and Diego Luna (Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN) should be far less instantly cheesy than Swayze was. All I know is, if someone says, “Nobody puts Baby in the corner,” I’m going to stand up and start the wave in the theater.
HAVOC (2003) Directed by Geoffrey Wright. Written by Stephen Gaghan. I love ROMPER STOMPER dearly, and no matter what Wright has done since, I get the feeling he’s never really been turned loose again. What is this crime drama about? Who’s releasing it? And will it finally give Wright the right material so he can shine?
HEAD IN THE CLOUDS (2003) Written and directed by John Duigan. Duigan’s a thoughtful filmmaker whose work includes FLIRTING and THE YEAR MY VOICE BROKE, but most importantly, he’s the guy who directed the arthouse nude fest SIRENS, which featured everyone stripping, including Elle McPherson. This time around, he’s directing Penelope Cruz and Natalie Portman. Oh please, God. Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease...
HEAD OF STATE (2003) Directed by Chris Rock. When the leading candidate for the Democrats dies during the Presidential race, fate somehow pushes Chris Rock into the spotlight, and he runs with his brother-in-law Bernie Mac along as Vice-President. Hilarity, I’m sure, ensues, and if they’re smart, they just might find some real comic gold in a premise this ripe.
HEART OF LOVE (2003) Artisan is finally getting around to releasing this long-discussed and much-rumored follow-up film to THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT by Daniel Myrick and Ed Sanchez. Is there any way they can hope to win in a situation like this? We’ll see this year, hopefully. Besides, they’ve got Don Knotts in their film, supposedly. And that’s a good thing, right?
THE HEBREW HAMMER (2003) It’s got Adam Goldberg in it. It’s about a Jewish superhero. It’s playing at Sundance. And it’s got Judy Greer, Andy Dick, and Melvin and Mario Van Peebles in it. So, yeah, I’m curious.
HELLBOY (2004) Written and directed by Guillermo Del Toro. If you’re not excited about this one yet, I don’t know what’s wrong with you. Del Toro’s been on a roll in the last few years, and Mike Mignola’s comic is one of the most unique on the market. Everything I’ve seen design-wise is exceptional, and Ron Perelman was born to play this part. Expect this one to rock... very, very hard.
HELLDORADO (2003) Directed by Peter Berg. This one stars The Rock, Seann William Scott (who seems to want to be an action hero real, real bad) and Christopher Walken in a story about a bounty hunter in the Amazon. Expect big giant action. This is really the test for The Rock, who had it easy in THE SCORPION KING. Can he open an original, and can he make it work? Universal certainly thinks so.
HIDALGO (2003) Directed by Joe Johnston, who appears to be working in OCTOBER SKY mode here with the story of Frank T. Hopkins, played here by newly annointed geek god Viggo Mortensen. Hopkins was one of the greatest long-distance endurance horse riders ever, and this true story could turn out to be like last year’s THE ROOKIE. There’s buzz that the budget’s growing and the schedule’s shrinking, though, so we’ll see what Johnston does under pressure.
HIGHBINDERS (2003) Jackie Chan and Lee Evans try to stop an international slavery ring in this film that Jackie seemed very excited about when I met him just over a year ago. Claire Forlani and Julian Sands also star.
HIGHLANDER: THE SOURCE (2003) Directed by Russell Mulcahy, this is a prequel of sorts to the series of films. Adrian Paul evidently will not return, although Chris Lambert might, for the story of four new Immortal characters who embark on a quest to learn the origin of the Immortals. Are there still fans of this series? Not that Dimension would ever stop pumping out anemic sequels to a franchise of theirs, of course. Just asking.
HOLES (2003) Directed by Andrew Davis and based on the novel by Louis Sachar. Walt Disney Pictures is releasing this one starring Sigourney Weaver, Jon Voight, Tim Blake Nelson, and a whole bunch of kids. Weaver, the hard-nosed warden of a juvenile detention center, puts all her kids to work digging holes, supposedly as a punishment that will build character. In actuality, she’s looking for a rumored buried treasure. This book is evidently quite popular, and there are fans clamoring for any info about how the film is coming together.
HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE (2003) Written and directed by Ron Shelton, this film stars Harrison Ford, Josh Hartnett, Eric Idle, Keith David, Bruce Greenwood, and Martin Landau, among others. Ford is Joe Gavilian, an LAPD homicide detective who moonlights as a real estate agent. Hartnett, his partner, is also a yoga instructor and wants to be an actor. Together, they get involved in a mystery involving the death of a rap group who are killed onstage. Isaiah Washington is basically playing Suge Knight here, a rap label boss who may or may not be killing artists who want out of their contracts. I hear this one plays real tongue in cheek, and that Ford in particular has been pushing the comedy envelope as much as possible.
HOME ON THE RANGE (2004) This is a Disney animated film, but what exactly does that mean these days? Their more traditional films tank (TREASURE PLANET), while their oddball little experiments turn out to be gems (LILO & STITCH). Which sort of film is this musical western with voices by Roseanne, Judi Dench, Randy Quaid, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Cuba Gooding Jr.? Guess we’ll see next year.
HONEY (2003) Directed by Billie Woodruff, a music video director making a feature debut here. Susannah Grant (28 DAYS) wrote the script that will see Jessica Alba play a “tough sexy dancer from the inner city” who becomes an acclaimed music video choreographer. Mekhi Phifer, L’il Romeo also star. Oh, please, let this be this year’s GLITTER. Alba in hot pants just sounds too camp to miss.
HONG KONG PHOOEY (200?) Originally set for 2003, this was supposed to be directed by Brett Ratner, but now that he’s moved on to SUPERMAN, what will happen to “number one super guy”? I’m sure New Line is dying to know.
HOSTAGE (2004) Robert Crais is one of the biggest names in mainstream mystery novels these days, and Bruce Willis is producing and starring in this film which Crais is adapting from one of his own books for Revolution Studios. Anything that gives Bruce a chance to stretch is okay by me.
THE HOT ZONE (2003) Directed by Scott McGehee and David Siegel, this project’s taken a long time to finally make it to the screen. There was a point where Linda Obst and Fox were racing to beat Warner’s OUTBREAK to the screen, and Ridley Scott almost directed Jodie Foster in the film. Now, almost a decade later, the creative team behind SUTURE and THE DEEP END is finally doing the job, and if they manage to capture any of the nightmare imagery of Richard Preston’s nonfiction book, my germ phobia might come roaring back to life despite all the therapy. Yeeeesh.
HOUSE OF SAND & FOG (2003) Written and directed by Vadim Perelman. How did this first time filmmaker end up with Dreamworks releasing his movie that stars Jennifer Connelly in her first big post-Oscar role? Beats me, but I’m curious about this drama that centers on a woman trying to keep her house following the death of her husband. Ben Kingsley and Ron Eldard costar.
THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD (2003) Directed by Uwe Boll. This trailer is the very definition of hilarious. I hope Mark Altman and his collaborators mean this as a semi-comedy, because if this is supposed to be straight horror, I think they missed the mark.
THE HULK (2003) Directed by Ang Lee. Written by a whole damn bunch of people. Big fucking duh. Of course we’re interested. The Superbowl spot that premieres the Hulk should get people talking, but no matter what, I’m going to put my faith in Ang Lee, who has proven quite nimble when switching genres before. His EAT, DRINK, MONSTER, WOMAN can’t get here soon enough for me.
THE HUMAN STAIN (2003) Directed by Robert Benton, and adapted by Nicholas Meyer from Philip Roth’s novel. This is bound to be one of next year’s big Oscar contenders, especially if Miramax has anything to say about it. This is the story of Coleman Silk, played by Anthony Hopkins, a classics professor with a terrible secret that shatters his life in a small New England town. His affair with a young troubled janitor, played by the decidely unjanitorial Nicole Kidman, is uncovered. A writer named Zuckerman, played by Gary Sinise, is the one who stumbles upon Silk’s secret, and it’s up to him to redeem the man’s public image afterwards.
THE HUNTED (2003) Directed by William Friedkin, this is the film where Tommy Lee Jones evidently injured Benecio Del Toro during a fight scene, meaning production had to shut down for a while. The trailer for the film is interesting, although it looks a little close to THE FUGITIVE for Jones. Here’s hoping it’s a primal action film that allows Friedkin a grace note at this late date. I’m always rooting for the man who made SORCERER and TO LIVE OR DIE IN L.A. (finally hitting DVD this year) to make a glorious comeback.
THE HUSBAND I BOUGHT (2003) Directed by Stephan Elliott, and based on a novella by Ayn Rand. “An architect goes on a downward spiral when a building he designed collapses, killing several people, and threatening his perfect marriage to a wealthy woman,” according to the IMDb. Ashley Judd, Vincent Perez, and Charlize Theron all star, and it’ll be interesting to see if the once-promising Elliott can reverse his own downward spiral, so clearly marked by films like EYE OF THE BEHOLDER.
THE I INSIDE (2003) Directed by Roland Richter. This is a memory/lost identity film along the lines of MEMENTO, with Ryan Phillipe starring as a man who wakes up in a hospital with no memory of the last two years. As he tries to piece things together, he finds he has the ability to slip from 2002 to 1999, and he begins to work out who he is. At least it’s not another sequel from Dimension. Let’s hope it’s one of their small gems like BELOW or EQUILIBRIUM.
I LOVE YOUR WORK (2003) Directed by Adam Goldberg. That’s good news for anyone who got to see his short film SCOTCH & MILK. In this, a famous filmmaker has a nervous breakdown and starts stalking a film student who has been a longtime fan of his. He’s got a great cast including Giovanni Ribisi, Franka Potente, Josh Jackson, Marisa Coughlin, Christina Ricci, Jared Harris, Elvis Costello, Ben Foster, and Nicky Katt, so I’m very eager to get a peek.
I, ROBOT (2004) Directed by Alex Proyas. Written by Jeff Vintner. This started life as an original spec script called HARDWIRED, but Proyas and Vintner eventually shaped it into a film that may serve as the springboard for a franchise of films based on Asimov’s famous ROBOT novels. I’m intrigued, and the casting of Will Smith should give you an idea of just how big a picture 20th Century Fox sees this as.
I WITNESS (2003) Directed by Rowdy Herrington. If I didn’t put this thriller from the director of ROAD HOUSE on the list, Mr. Beaks would kill me. You see, Beaks believes ROAD HOUSE to be a classic on par with LAWRENCE OF ARABIA and 8 ½. Seriously. You should write to him to share your own feelings on the subject. Seriously.
I’LL BE THERE (2003) Directed by Craig Ferguson. You might remember him from THE DREW CARREY SHOW, where he’s the deranged English boss. He also made a fairly funny film called THE BIG TEASE a few years back. In this one, he’s a fading ‘80’s pop star who learns he has a daughter from one of his one-night stands. The daughter’s played by Charlotte Church. I fully expect a ream of inappropriate jokes about her ass in the TalkBack below. Don’t disappoint me, boys.
I’LL SLEEP WHEN I’M DEAD (2003) Directed by Mike Hodges, who made CROUPIER and FLASH GORDON and the original GET CARTER. That’s reason enough to want to see this one. Besides, I don’t know anything else about it, aside from the fact that it stars Clive Owen and Malcolm McDowell.
IDENTITY (2003) Written and directed by James Mangold. People either love this one, or they hate it. Reactions from the test screenings have been all over the place, but the trailer’s pretty spiffy, and it’s got a huge ensemble cast. The one thing I felt most strongly about the script is that after this, I don’t ever want to see another “shocking twist ending” again. Please.
IF YOU WERE MY GIRL (2003) This is a remake of CAN’T BUY ME LOVE. The Patrick Dempsey film. Seriously.
IMAGINING ARGENTINA (2003) Written and directed by Christopher Hampton, who made the severely underrated THE SECRET AGENT, and who worked with David Lean on the unfilmed NOSTROMO. Despite knowing nothing about the premise, Hampton’s involvement makes me curious.
INDIANA JONES 4 (2005) Directed by Steven Spielberg. Written by Frank Darabont. There have been a lot of bad scripts written for this one over the years, but if anyone's got the passion and the talent to make it work, it's Darabont, who worked on YOUNG INDIANA JONES CHRONICLES early in his career, and who adores the character and the franchise. Here's hoping he crafts something truly worthy of bringing this series back, and here's wondering how Spielberg, who has changed so much as a filmmaker in recent years, is going to slip back into this.
IN GOD’S HANDS (2003) Written and directed by Lodge Kerrigan. This guy made CLEAN, SHAVEN, one of the great unconventional horror films I’ve ever seen, so whatever this is, I’m interested. Besides, it’s a Section Eight production, and they’re one of the most interesting companies in town right now. And it stars both new cutie Maggie Gyllenhaal and ‘80’s betty Elizabeth McGovern, who I haven’t seen in forever. Sounds good to me.
IN THE CUT (2003) Written and directed by Jane Campion, adapted from the novel. This one’s taken forever to make it to the screen, but any time Campion works, I’m going to pay attention. I may have loathed PORTRAIT OF A LADY, and I wasn’t nuts about HOLY SMOKE!, but I still think Campion’s the real deal, a filmmaker with a remarkable voice, and she’s always capable of hitting a home run, especially with a cast like Meg Ryan, Mark Ruffalo, Jennifer Jason Leigh, and Kevin Bacon.
THE INCREDIBLES (2004) Written and directed by Brad Bird. Simply put, there’s no other title in 2004 that I am more excited about. Brad Bird’s THE IRON GIANT is a modern classic, and the idea of him working with Pixar on this story of a family of superheros trying to live incognito in the suburbs makes me tingle. I expect nothing less than staggering genius.
THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN (2004) Directed by Keenan Ivory Wayans. Universal’s already remade this SF classic once as a comedy to disastrous effect with Lily Tomlin, so even though Eddie Murphy’s set to star in this, I hope they play it at least somewhat serious. I have no idea what direction the material’s headed, and if you do, get in touch with me and ease my fears. I beg you.
THE INFORMANT (2003) Directed by Steven Soderbergh. For a lot of viewers, Soderbergh’s got an uphill battle all over again now that he pissed away the goodwill he earned on TRAFFIC and ERIN BROKOVICH with more personal films like SOLARIS and FULL FRONTAL. Personally, I think the guy’s one of the most interesting filmmakers working, and whatever he wants to do, I’ll be sure and check it out. Yes, it’s about a price-fixing scandal and a decade long investigation by the FBI, which doesn’t sound like the most absorbing material, but I’ll still give him the benefit of the doubt.
INTERMISSION (2003) I’m not sure if Dreamworks is just releasing this Irish film with Colin Farrell and Kelly McDonald, or if they’re producing it, too. Either way, this sounds like a smaller, more intimate affair for Farrell following a series of big Hollywood pictures.
INTOLERABLE CRUELTY (2003) Directed by Joel Coen. Written by (over the years) Joel and Ethan Coen, Andrew Bergman, Robert Ramsey and Matthew Stone, and Jonathan Demme. I haven’t read the shooting draft of this one, but it can’t miss. First of all, the Coen Bros. are incapable of screwing up at this point. It’s a scientific fact. Add George Clooney and Catherine Zeta-Jones into the mix, and things start to look pretty golden. Clooney plays a lawyer who specializes in creating iron-clad prenup agreements and getting his all-male client roster the most amazing divorce settlements possible. Zeta-Jones plays a woman who is determined to get him to marry her without signing a prenup so that she can divorce him and destroy him. Throw in Geoffrey Rush and Billy Bob Thornton and Cedric The Entertainer, and that sounds like the recipe for one kick-ass dark comedy to me. You thought WAR OF THE ROSES played rough? Suit up, ‘cause someone’s getting hurt in this one.
LES INVASIONS BARBARES (2003) Written and directed by Denys Arcand. Like Atom Egoyan, Arcand is a Canadian director who’s carved out a fairly personal career for himself over the years. He manages to come up with a winner every so often, and it would be great if this was one of them.
THE ITALIAN JOB (2003) Directed by F. Gary Gray, this remake is sure to irritate Brits, who are deeply possessive of the original 1968 heist film. In this remake, Mark Wahlberg heads up a gang that includes Ed Norton, Charlize Theron, Seth Green, Jason Statham, and Mos Def, while Donald Sutherland tries to catch them. Their plan is to create the largest traffic jam in LA history, steal some gold, then use a fleet of Mini Coopers (cars small enough to drive on sidewalks, in case you’ve never seen one) to escape while the cops can’t pursue them. Considering they’re just starting to market the Mini in America, this could turn into a feature film version of what BMW’s been doing with directors for the past year or so.
JEEPERS CREEPERS 2 (2003) Directed by Victor Salva. The original divided audiences, and I can see why. I’m willing to forgive much of the film’s second half because of the confidence of the first half, but some viewers weren’t willing to forgive Salva his own real-life transgressions. Chances are, you already know if you’re going to see this sequel, which has little to do with the original beyond the involvement of The Creeper. I’m willing to give Salva a chance based on the stuff that did work last time out. Anyone who can make a horror film that genuinely works, even if only in fits and starts, is ahead of the game these days.
JERSEY GIRL (2003) Written and directed by Kevin Smith. This is the other film with Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez this year, and I must admit... I’m curious to see what a PG-13 Kevin Smith film sounds like. More importantly, I’m dying to know what a Vilmos Zsigmond-lensed Kevin Smith film looks like. Here’s hoping he’s finally made something that looks like it cost more than $14, and that his trademark rapid-fire wit isn’t muted by his conscious decision to play clean.
JOHN DOE (2004) Written and directed by Zack Penn. I’ve got the script for this one and a nearly-complete set of storyboards sitting on a shelf here in the Labs, and I’m fairly confident that Penn is up to something special. Wesley Snipes has finally been cast in the title role (although that title may well change after the TV show of the same name has stolen its thunder), and if the film delivers on the promise that I see in it, then Snipes may have a new franchise on his hands. It’s hard to talk about the film’s story without giving it away, but I’ll say that fans of BLADE RUNNER or UNBREAKABLE should plan right now to see this when it hits theaters next year.
JUMANJI 2 (2004) There have been a lot of false starts on this one, and there’s no guarantee that it’s actually being made now. Regardless, Sony seems to be moving ahead with a sequel set in and around Paris, and still centered on that strange and powerful board game. It’s a fun premise, even if the first film didn’t quite figure out what to do with it. Maybe the development time here will pay off in something better.
And that’s it. Harry’s going to be back in a few days with K-L-M-N-O, a truly Herculean task, and then I’ll follow up with P-Q-R-S-T. We’re almost finished, and we appreciate your patience as we put these lists together.
"Moriarty" out.
GEORGE & THE DRAGON (2003) Directed by Tom Reeve. This is an independent fantasy film with a historical setting, and Reeve is making his debut as a director. He’s one of the producers of last year’s cult hit DOG SOLDIERS, and this time he’s working with German funding and actors like Michael Clarke Duncan, Piper Perabo, Paul Freeman, and Patrick Swayze.
GIGLI (2003) Written and directed by Martin Brest, something that hasn’t happened since GOING IN STYLE, a film I adore. I certainly hope Brest pulls this off, but the early buzz has been horrible from the people who have been to the various test screenings. Revolution Studios ended up springing for extensive reshoots to try and salvage this mob comedy starring Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck, and Al Pacino, so the release date is still up in the air.
GIN & TONIC (2003) Written and directed by David Eric Brenner, who I know nothing about. I’m interested because this is “the life story of the late Graham Chapman, legendary founding member of Monty Python. The film uses Chapman's own unseen personal papers and unpublished memoirs in order to recreate his years at Cambridge University, medical school, the Monty Python years, his struggles with alcohol, his ground-breaking stance on homosexuality, his exploits with John Cleese, Keith Moon, Harry Nilsson, Ringo Starr, and his untimely death at age 48, of cancer.” That’s according to the IMDb, and a description like that means a raving Python fanboy like me is there as soon as possible.
THE GIRL NEXT DOOR (2003) Written and directed by Luke Greenfield. This Fox 2000 comedy may be from the director of THE ANIMAL, but he also made the very promising short film THE RIGHT HOOK, so here’s hoping he’s made the most of a cast that includes 24’s resident hottie Elisha Cuthbert and Emile Hirsch, who made a strong debut in THE DANGEROUS LIVES OF ALTAR BOYS. The film is about a teenager who falls in love with a porn star who moves in next door to him in the suburbs.
GODFORSAKEN (2003) Directed by Mike van Diem. Written by Nick Cassavetes. If you’ve seen van Diem’s CHARACTER, you might understand why I am curious about this one, even if I don’t know anything about the premise. All I know is that it’s a crime drama, and Wesley Snipes is in it. That’s enough for me.
GODS AND GENERALS (2003) Directed by Ronald Maxwell, who also directed GETTYSBURG, to which this is a prequel. Personally, I spent several years living in Chattanooga, where there seems to be a battlefield in everyone’s backyard, and growing up in the South means I got all the Civil War schoolin’ I’d ever need, and then some, but there’s definitely a hunger for info on this film based on the mail I get about it.
GODSEND (2003) Directed by Nick Hamm, who made the horror film THE HOLE. This one seems like a case of spectacular good timing. It’s a story about cloning a couple’s dead son with Greg Kinnear and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos as the couple and Robert De Niro as their doctor. It’s a horror film, evidently, so don’t expect a pro-cloning tract.
THE GOOD SHEPHERD (2004) Directed by Robert De Niro. Written by Eric Roth. This is a legendary script in town, which explains why Zoetrope, Tribeca, and Universal are all involved in finally bringing it to the screen. This marks the first time De Niro will work with Di Caprio since MARVIN’S ROOM, and any fan of THIS BOY’S LIFE knows that should be a very good thing, indeed.
H.R. PUFNSTUF (2003) Directed by Mike Mitchell, who also has the comedy SURVIVING CHRISTMAS coming out this year. There’s a bunch of companies, like Columbia, Paramount, Rhino, and Nickelodeon involved in this one, but so far, things are quiet. Is it really happening? Has it been pushed back? How stoned will we have to be to enjoy it? These questions demand answers!!
HARRY KNUCKLES AND THE PEARL NECKLACE (2003) You can go ahead and write your own filthy jokes involving Headgeek (heh heh heh) and bukkake (ewwwwwww). This has Lloyd Kaufman in it, so you know it’s going to be A-list all the way.
HARRY POTTER & THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN (2004) Directed by Alphonso Cuaron. Written by Steve Kloves. Early word coming in here at the Moriarty Labs is that Cuaron is shaking up this franchise, and in a good way. He’s evidently questioning everything that’s come before, determined to retain what’s good and improve everything else. I got in a rumor over the weekend that Ian Brown (of the Stone Roses) has signed on for a small part in the film, and that casting efforts continue on characters like Sirius Black. Oh, and for the record, I don't care who's playing Dumbledore. Harry pranked me last week, and as a result, I've gotten so much e-mail on the matter that I hate the mere word now. I'm sure Warner Bros. will announce a decision soon. In the meantime, please give me some peace.
HARRY POTTER & THE GOBLET OF FIRE (2005) Directed by Alphonso Cuaron (??) Written by Steve Kloves. Here’s the big question mark in the POTTER franchise. All along, Chris Columbus (who’s still onboard as a producer, keep in mind) has said that they will likely tackle this as two sequels in the same year. I’m guessing the final decision will be based on how MATRIX RELOADED and MATRIX REVOLUTIONS do this year. At any rate, this is a challenge for any creative team involved, especially if they’re going to try to remain faithful to the 4,443,528 page book.
THE HAUNTED LIGHTHOUSE (2003) Directed by Joe Dante. Written by Sam Hamm. Now, either Dante or Hamm would fill me with glee most of the time, but I’m not sure what to think of this adaptation of one of R.L. Stine’s stories. I don’t think much of his crappy, rehashed ghost stories for kids, and the cast that includes Christopher Lloyd, Michael McKean, Weird Al, and THE RING’s Daveigh Chase doesn’t really do it for me either. Is this done? Is this coming out before LOONEY TUNES? Whassup?!
THE HAUNTED MANSION (2003) Directed by Rob Minkoff. Looks like there’s a lot of stuff that’s going to be “haunted” for family audiences this year. Eddie Murphy stars in this one, and I think I’m more interested in Disney’s other ride-turned-film this summer, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN. At least that one is sort of aimed at a more adult audience. My one hope for this is that it works on some level bringing some of the great images from the ride to life. I grew up at Walt Disney World, and I love the Haunted Mansion to death. Please, guys... just don’t desecrate this one, and you’ll make people happy.
HAVANA NIGHTS: DIRTY DANCING 2 (2003) Directed by Guy Ferland, who made the decent and fairly overlooked TELLING LIES IN AMERICA. Come on, though... admit it. Your wife or girlfriend is going to drag you to see this. Just deal with it now. And don’t worry... Romola Garai (NICHOLAS NICKLEBY) is adorable, and Diego Luna (Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN) should be far less instantly cheesy than Swayze was. All I know is, if someone says, “Nobody puts Baby in the corner,” I’m going to stand up and start the wave in the theater.
HAVOC (2003) Directed by Geoffrey Wright. Written by Stephen Gaghan. I love ROMPER STOMPER dearly, and no matter what Wright has done since, I get the feeling he’s never really been turned loose again. What is this crime drama about? Who’s releasing it? And will it finally give Wright the right material so he can shine?
HEAD IN THE CLOUDS (2003) Written and directed by John Duigan. Duigan’s a thoughtful filmmaker whose work includes FLIRTING and THE YEAR MY VOICE BROKE, but most importantly, he’s the guy who directed the arthouse nude fest SIRENS, which featured everyone stripping, including Elle McPherson. This time around, he’s directing Penelope Cruz and Natalie Portman. Oh please, God. Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease...
HEAD OF STATE (2003) Directed by Chris Rock. When the leading candidate for the Democrats dies during the Presidential race, fate somehow pushes Chris Rock into the spotlight, and he runs with his brother-in-law Bernie Mac along as Vice-President. Hilarity, I’m sure, ensues, and if they’re smart, they just might find some real comic gold in a premise this ripe.
HEART OF LOVE (2003) Artisan is finally getting around to releasing this long-discussed and much-rumored follow-up film to THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT by Daniel Myrick and Ed Sanchez. Is there any way they can hope to win in a situation like this? We’ll see this year, hopefully. Besides, they’ve got Don Knotts in their film, supposedly. And that’s a good thing, right?
THE HEBREW HAMMER (2003) It’s got Adam Goldberg in it. It’s about a Jewish superhero. It’s playing at Sundance. And it’s got Judy Greer, Andy Dick, and Melvin and Mario Van Peebles in it. So, yeah, I’m curious.
HELLBOY (2004) Written and directed by Guillermo Del Toro. If you’re not excited about this one yet, I don’t know what’s wrong with you. Del Toro’s been on a roll in the last few years, and Mike Mignola’s comic is one of the most unique on the market. Everything I’ve seen design-wise is exceptional, and Ron Perelman was born to play this part. Expect this one to rock... very, very hard.
HELLDORADO (2003) Directed by Peter Berg. This one stars The Rock, Seann William Scott (who seems to want to be an action hero real, real bad) and Christopher Walken in a story about a bounty hunter in the Amazon. Expect big giant action. This is really the test for The Rock, who had it easy in THE SCORPION KING. Can he open an original, and can he make it work? Universal certainly thinks so.
HIDALGO (2003) Directed by Joe Johnston, who appears to be working in OCTOBER SKY mode here with the story of Frank T. Hopkins, played here by newly annointed geek god Viggo Mortensen. Hopkins was one of the greatest long-distance endurance horse riders ever, and this true story could turn out to be like last year’s THE ROOKIE. There’s buzz that the budget’s growing and the schedule’s shrinking, though, so we’ll see what Johnston does under pressure.
HIGHBINDERS (2003) Jackie Chan and Lee Evans try to stop an international slavery ring in this film that Jackie seemed very excited about when I met him just over a year ago. Claire Forlani and Julian Sands also star.
HIGHLANDER: THE SOURCE (2003) Directed by Russell Mulcahy, this is a prequel of sorts to the series of films. Adrian Paul evidently will not return, although Chris Lambert might, for the story of four new Immortal characters who embark on a quest to learn the origin of the Immortals. Are there still fans of this series? Not that Dimension would ever stop pumping out anemic sequels to a franchise of theirs, of course. Just asking.
HOLES (2003) Directed by Andrew Davis and based on the novel by Louis Sachar. Walt Disney Pictures is releasing this one starring Sigourney Weaver, Jon Voight, Tim Blake Nelson, and a whole bunch of kids. Weaver, the hard-nosed warden of a juvenile detention center, puts all her kids to work digging holes, supposedly as a punishment that will build character. In actuality, she’s looking for a rumored buried treasure. This book is evidently quite popular, and there are fans clamoring for any info about how the film is coming together.
HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE (2003) Written and directed by Ron Shelton, this film stars Harrison Ford, Josh Hartnett, Eric Idle, Keith David, Bruce Greenwood, and Martin Landau, among others. Ford is Joe Gavilian, an LAPD homicide detective who moonlights as a real estate agent. Hartnett, his partner, is also a yoga instructor and wants to be an actor. Together, they get involved in a mystery involving the death of a rap group who are killed onstage. Isaiah Washington is basically playing Suge Knight here, a rap label boss who may or may not be killing artists who want out of their contracts. I hear this one plays real tongue in cheek, and that Ford in particular has been pushing the comedy envelope as much as possible.
HOME ON THE RANGE (2004) This is a Disney animated film, but what exactly does that mean these days? Their more traditional films tank (TREASURE PLANET), while their oddball little experiments turn out to be gems (LILO & STITCH). Which sort of film is this musical western with voices by Roseanne, Judi Dench, Randy Quaid, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Cuba Gooding Jr.? Guess we’ll see next year.
HONEY (2003) Directed by Billie Woodruff, a music video director making a feature debut here. Susannah Grant (28 DAYS) wrote the script that will see Jessica Alba play a “tough sexy dancer from the inner city” who becomes an acclaimed music video choreographer. Mekhi Phifer, L’il Romeo also star. Oh, please, let this be this year’s GLITTER. Alba in hot pants just sounds too camp to miss.
HONG KONG PHOOEY (200?) Originally set for 2003, this was supposed to be directed by Brett Ratner, but now that he’s moved on to SUPERMAN, what will happen to “number one super guy”? I’m sure New Line is dying to know.
HOSTAGE (2004) Robert Crais is one of the biggest names in mainstream mystery novels these days, and Bruce Willis is producing and starring in this film which Crais is adapting from one of his own books for Revolution Studios. Anything that gives Bruce a chance to stretch is okay by me.
THE HOT ZONE (2003) Directed by Scott McGehee and David Siegel, this project’s taken a long time to finally make it to the screen. There was a point where Linda Obst and Fox were racing to beat Warner’s OUTBREAK to the screen, and Ridley Scott almost directed Jodie Foster in the film. Now, almost a decade later, the creative team behind SUTURE and THE DEEP END is finally doing the job, and if they manage to capture any of the nightmare imagery of Richard Preston’s nonfiction book, my germ phobia might come roaring back to life despite all the therapy. Yeeeesh.
HOUSE OF SAND & FOG (2003) Written and directed by Vadim Perelman. How did this first time filmmaker end up with Dreamworks releasing his movie that stars Jennifer Connelly in her first big post-Oscar role? Beats me, but I’m curious about this drama that centers on a woman trying to keep her house following the death of her husband. Ben Kingsley and Ron Eldard costar.
THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD (2003) Directed by Uwe Boll. This trailer is the very definition of hilarious. I hope Mark Altman and his collaborators mean this as a semi-comedy, because if this is supposed to be straight horror, I think they missed the mark.
THE HULK (2003) Directed by Ang Lee. Written by a whole damn bunch of people. Big fucking duh. Of course we’re interested. The Superbowl spot that premieres the Hulk should get people talking, but no matter what, I’m going to put my faith in Ang Lee, who has proven quite nimble when switching genres before. His EAT, DRINK, MONSTER, WOMAN can’t get here soon enough for me.
THE HUMAN STAIN (2003) Directed by Robert Benton, and adapted by Nicholas Meyer from Philip Roth’s novel. This is bound to be one of next year’s big Oscar contenders, especially if Miramax has anything to say about it. This is the story of Coleman Silk, played by Anthony Hopkins, a classics professor with a terrible secret that shatters his life in a small New England town. His affair with a young troubled janitor, played by the decidely unjanitorial Nicole Kidman, is uncovered. A writer named Zuckerman, played by Gary Sinise, is the one who stumbles upon Silk’s secret, and it’s up to him to redeem the man’s public image afterwards.
THE HUNTED (2003) Directed by William Friedkin, this is the film where Tommy Lee Jones evidently injured Benecio Del Toro during a fight scene, meaning production had to shut down for a while. The trailer for the film is interesting, although it looks a little close to THE FUGITIVE for Jones. Here’s hoping it’s a primal action film that allows Friedkin a grace note at this late date. I’m always rooting for the man who made SORCERER and TO LIVE OR DIE IN L.A. (finally hitting DVD this year) to make a glorious comeback.
THE HUSBAND I BOUGHT (2003) Directed by Stephan Elliott, and based on a novella by Ayn Rand. “An architect goes on a downward spiral when a building he designed collapses, killing several people, and threatening his perfect marriage to a wealthy woman,” according to the IMDb. Ashley Judd, Vincent Perez, and Charlize Theron all star, and it’ll be interesting to see if the once-promising Elliott can reverse his own downward spiral, so clearly marked by films like EYE OF THE BEHOLDER.
THE I INSIDE (2003) Directed by Roland Richter. This is a memory/lost identity film along the lines of MEMENTO, with Ryan Phillipe starring as a man who wakes up in a hospital with no memory of the last two years. As he tries to piece things together, he finds he has the ability to slip from 2002 to 1999, and he begins to work out who he is. At least it’s not another sequel from Dimension. Let’s hope it’s one of their small gems like BELOW or EQUILIBRIUM.
I LOVE YOUR WORK (2003) Directed by Adam Goldberg. That’s good news for anyone who got to see his short film SCOTCH & MILK. In this, a famous filmmaker has a nervous breakdown and starts stalking a film student who has been a longtime fan of his. He’s got a great cast including Giovanni Ribisi, Franka Potente, Josh Jackson, Marisa Coughlin, Christina Ricci, Jared Harris, Elvis Costello, Ben Foster, and Nicky Katt, so I’m very eager to get a peek.
I, ROBOT (2004) Directed by Alex Proyas. Written by Jeff Vintner. This started life as an original spec script called HARDWIRED, but Proyas and Vintner eventually shaped it into a film that may serve as the springboard for a franchise of films based on Asimov’s famous ROBOT novels. I’m intrigued, and the casting of Will Smith should give you an idea of just how big a picture 20th Century Fox sees this as.
I WITNESS (2003) Directed by Rowdy Herrington. If I didn’t put this thriller from the director of ROAD HOUSE on the list, Mr. Beaks would kill me. You see, Beaks believes ROAD HOUSE to be a classic on par with LAWRENCE OF ARABIA and 8 ½. Seriously. You should write to him to share your own feelings on the subject. Seriously.
I’LL BE THERE (2003) Directed by Craig Ferguson. You might remember him from THE DREW CARREY SHOW, where he’s the deranged English boss. He also made a fairly funny film called THE BIG TEASE a few years back. In this one, he’s a fading ‘80’s pop star who learns he has a daughter from one of his one-night stands. The daughter’s played by Charlotte Church. I fully expect a ream of inappropriate jokes about her ass in the TalkBack below. Don’t disappoint me, boys.
I’LL SLEEP WHEN I’M DEAD (2003) Directed by Mike Hodges, who made CROUPIER and FLASH GORDON and the original GET CARTER. That’s reason enough to want to see this one. Besides, I don’t know anything else about it, aside from the fact that it stars Clive Owen and Malcolm McDowell.
IDENTITY (2003) Written and directed by James Mangold. People either love this one, or they hate it. Reactions from the test screenings have been all over the place, but the trailer’s pretty spiffy, and it’s got a huge ensemble cast. The one thing I felt most strongly about the script is that after this, I don’t ever want to see another “shocking twist ending” again. Please.
IF YOU WERE MY GIRL (2003) This is a remake of CAN’T BUY ME LOVE. The Patrick Dempsey film. Seriously.
IMAGINING ARGENTINA (2003) Written and directed by Christopher Hampton, who made the severely underrated THE SECRET AGENT, and who worked with David Lean on the unfilmed NOSTROMO. Despite knowing nothing about the premise, Hampton’s involvement makes me curious.
INDIANA JONES 4 (2005) Directed by Steven Spielberg. Written by Frank Darabont. There have been a lot of bad scripts written for this one over the years, but if anyone's got the passion and the talent to make it work, it's Darabont, who worked on YOUNG INDIANA JONES CHRONICLES early in his career, and who adores the character and the franchise. Here's hoping he crafts something truly worthy of bringing this series back, and here's wondering how Spielberg, who has changed so much as a filmmaker in recent years, is going to slip back into this.
IN GOD’S HANDS (2003) Written and directed by Lodge Kerrigan. This guy made CLEAN, SHAVEN, one of the great unconventional horror films I’ve ever seen, so whatever this is, I’m interested. Besides, it’s a Section Eight production, and they’re one of the most interesting companies in town right now. And it stars both new cutie Maggie Gyllenhaal and ‘80’s betty Elizabeth McGovern, who I haven’t seen in forever. Sounds good to me.
IN THE CUT (2003) Written and directed by Jane Campion, adapted from the novel. This one’s taken forever to make it to the screen, but any time Campion works, I’m going to pay attention. I may have loathed PORTRAIT OF A LADY, and I wasn’t nuts about HOLY SMOKE!, but I still think Campion’s the real deal, a filmmaker with a remarkable voice, and she’s always capable of hitting a home run, especially with a cast like Meg Ryan, Mark Ruffalo, Jennifer Jason Leigh, and Kevin Bacon.
THE INCREDIBLES (2004) Written and directed by Brad Bird. Simply put, there’s no other title in 2004 that I am more excited about. Brad Bird’s THE IRON GIANT is a modern classic, and the idea of him working with Pixar on this story of a family of superheros trying to live incognito in the suburbs makes me tingle. I expect nothing less than staggering genius.
THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN (2004) Directed by Keenan Ivory Wayans. Universal’s already remade this SF classic once as a comedy to disastrous effect with Lily Tomlin, so even though Eddie Murphy’s set to star in this, I hope they play it at least somewhat serious. I have no idea what direction the material’s headed, and if you do, get in touch with me and ease my fears. I beg you.
THE INFORMANT (2003) Directed by Steven Soderbergh. For a lot of viewers, Soderbergh’s got an uphill battle all over again now that he pissed away the goodwill he earned on TRAFFIC and ERIN BROKOVICH with more personal films like SOLARIS and FULL FRONTAL. Personally, I think the guy’s one of the most interesting filmmakers working, and whatever he wants to do, I’ll be sure and check it out. Yes, it’s about a price-fixing scandal and a decade long investigation by the FBI, which doesn’t sound like the most absorbing material, but I’ll still give him the benefit of the doubt.
INTERMISSION (2003) I’m not sure if Dreamworks is just releasing this Irish film with Colin Farrell and Kelly McDonald, or if they’re producing it, too. Either way, this sounds like a smaller, more intimate affair for Farrell following a series of big Hollywood pictures.
INTOLERABLE CRUELTY (2003) Directed by Joel Coen. Written by (over the years) Joel and Ethan Coen, Andrew Bergman, Robert Ramsey and Matthew Stone, and Jonathan Demme. I haven’t read the shooting draft of this one, but it can’t miss. First of all, the Coen Bros. are incapable of screwing up at this point. It’s a scientific fact. Add George Clooney and Catherine Zeta-Jones into the mix, and things start to look pretty golden. Clooney plays a lawyer who specializes in creating iron-clad prenup agreements and getting his all-male client roster the most amazing divorce settlements possible. Zeta-Jones plays a woman who is determined to get him to marry her without signing a prenup so that she can divorce him and destroy him. Throw in Geoffrey Rush and Billy Bob Thornton and Cedric The Entertainer, and that sounds like the recipe for one kick-ass dark comedy to me. You thought WAR OF THE ROSES played rough? Suit up, ‘cause someone’s getting hurt in this one.
LES INVASIONS BARBARES (2003) Written and directed by Denys Arcand. Like Atom Egoyan, Arcand is a Canadian director who’s carved out a fairly personal career for himself over the years. He manages to come up with a winner every so often, and it would be great if this was one of them.
THE ITALIAN JOB (2003) Directed by F. Gary Gray, this remake is sure to irritate Brits, who are deeply possessive of the original 1968 heist film. In this remake, Mark Wahlberg heads up a gang that includes Ed Norton, Charlize Theron, Seth Green, Jason Statham, and Mos Def, while Donald Sutherland tries to catch them. Their plan is to create the largest traffic jam in LA history, steal some gold, then use a fleet of Mini Coopers (cars small enough to drive on sidewalks, in case you’ve never seen one) to escape while the cops can’t pursue them. Considering they’re just starting to market the Mini in America, this could turn into a feature film version of what BMW’s been doing with directors for the past year or so.
JEEPERS CREEPERS 2 (2003) Directed by Victor Salva. The original divided audiences, and I can see why. I’m willing to forgive much of the film’s second half because of the confidence of the first half, but some viewers weren’t willing to forgive Salva his own real-life transgressions. Chances are, you already know if you’re going to see this sequel, which has little to do with the original beyond the involvement of The Creeper. I’m willing to give Salva a chance based on the stuff that did work last time out. Anyone who can make a horror film that genuinely works, even if only in fits and starts, is ahead of the game these days.
JERSEY GIRL (2003) Written and directed by Kevin Smith. This is the other film with Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez this year, and I must admit... I’m curious to see what a PG-13 Kevin Smith film sounds like. More importantly, I’m dying to know what a Vilmos Zsigmond-lensed Kevin Smith film looks like. Here’s hoping he’s finally made something that looks like it cost more than $14, and that his trademark rapid-fire wit isn’t muted by his conscious decision to play clean.
JOHN DOE (2004) Written and directed by Zack Penn. I’ve got the script for this one and a nearly-complete set of storyboards sitting on a shelf here in the Labs, and I’m fairly confident that Penn is up to something special. Wesley Snipes has finally been cast in the title role (although that title may well change after the TV show of the same name has stolen its thunder), and if the film delivers on the promise that I see in it, then Snipes may have a new franchise on his hands. It’s hard to talk about the film’s story without giving it away, but I’ll say that fans of BLADE RUNNER or UNBREAKABLE should plan right now to see this when it hits theaters next year.
JUMANJI 2 (2004) There have been a lot of false starts on this one, and there’s no guarantee that it’s actually being made now. Regardless, Sony seems to be moving ahead with a sequel set in and around Paris, and still centered on that strange and powerful board game. It’s a fun premise, even if the first film didn’t quite figure out what to do with it. Maybe the development time here will pay off in something better.
And that’s it. Harry’s going to be back in a few days with K-L-M-N-O, a truly Herculean task, and then I’ll follow up with P-Q-R-S-T. We’re almost finished, and we appreciate your patience as we put these lists together.
"Moriarty" out.
