Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Even stuffed with turkey, these guys produce.
Happy Holidays, fellow @$$Holes! Cormorant here, and by now you should be hip-deep in cool Christmas loot, but if you’re a greedy bastard like me, you must have more! Well lucky you, comics are still a relatively inexpensive form of entertainment (at least compared to your chronic heroin habit), and this week we’ve got some eclectic and kick-ass books to recommend! We begin with Lizzybeth’s insightful coverage of a Fantagraphics comic that sounds a damn sight more entertaining than the late-70’s Disney stank-fest that shares its name…
BLACK HOLE #10
Charles Burns
Fantagraphics Press
reviewed by Lizzybeth
There are those who read comics to feel like a kid again, and I would advise those readers to stay away from BLACK HOLE. This stellar quarterly comic from indie veteran Charles Burns (creator of “Dog Boy” and further Fantagraphics projects BIG BABY and EL BORBA) is a genre-bending flashback to stomach-churning adolescence that makes me relieved, at the end of each issue, to be an adult.
The cover should clue you in right off that this isn’t exactly a Disney adaptation. BLACK HOLE is partly known for its striking, psycho-noir cover images, beautifully inked and colored and improving with every issue. This image appears to be that of one of Keith’s mutated tadpoles come to life, staring accusingly up from the grass where it’s been dumped, its belly gaping open, disturbingly reminiscent of a fetus. Inviting it’s not, but it’s fairly descriptive of what you can expect to find within: a sickly fascinating, somewhat cryptic tale of sex and disease, peppered with drugs, 70’s nostalgia, and adolescent nausea. The main storyline of BLACK HOLE is set into motion by The Bug, a strange plague that causes rapid and hideous mutations, and follows the victims as they are ostracized from society and from each other. The plague is sexually transmitted, and only affects the teenagers of this small 1970’s town. Of course this stops no one from having sex. The effects lead to splinter communities of disfigured dropouts hiding out in abandoned houses, camping in the woods, clinging to each other in a twisted new fraternity of freaks. They accept these circumstances with disturbing matter-of-factness. They continue with their liaisons and other matters of survival, even as they are slowly being murdered by something even more monstrous in their midst.
Comics are a particularly effective medium for the horror genre and many of its best titles have been hybrids of this nature: sci-fi/horror, horror/fantasy. Occasionally reminiscent of Vertigo horror offerings like SWAMP THING or BLACK ORCHID, BLACK HOLE is a particularly uncompromising mix that refuses to settle into any one category, and is true only to its own vision, and to these vividly troubled characters. Be prepared for extremely blunt depictions of sex, drug use, and mutilation, and don’t expect the easy gratification that the slasher-movie setup seems to indicate. The story takes its time to unfold, using Burns’ etched artwork, the introductory portraits and dark collages that serve as chaotic bookends for every issue, to establish a strong and lingering mood and to leave an impression of confusion and loss familiar to anyone scarred by attempts at adolescent romance, or anyone who’s felt cut off from their own generation, unable to turn to older generations for support. Adults are entirely absent from BLACK HOLE, separated from the younger characters by the plague premise. Unlike teen-oriented television or movies where parents are absent by mere omission, ready to appear for the next plot contrivance, the absence of parental guidance is deeply felt for these characters, who will have no one to depend on for a quick and consequence-free rescue. While the mutation plague seems to inspire a banding-together of misfits, it is a temporary and flimsy union that leaves many kids, like Keith, effectively alone and adrift throughout the events of the story. There are lots of stories that effectively capture the dizzy heights of adolescence, but few that explore the lows so well as to remind me of why, all the while, we were so eager to grow up.
I don’t know where Black Hole is headed, how the various subplots will resolve, if there is an explanation for all or even any of the strange happenings of the series, and none of that really bothers me. Wherever the series is going, I am interested to see how it will get there. Charles Burns has really clicked with this material, and it seems that he could go on indefinitely, though only a few more issues are planned at present. This is one of the finest of Fantagraphics’s already impressive stable of comics, and one of the most fascinating comics I’ve picked up in the last year. Find out more about Charles Burns, and order copies of BLACK HOLE, here.
REX MUNDI # 1
Written by Arvid Nelson
Art by Eric Johnson & Jeromy Cox
Published by Image
Reviewed by Buzz Maverik
Someone connected with REX MUNDI has excellent taste. That was proven when yers truly, Buzz Kappakappagamma Maverik, was quoted in the REX MUNDI print ad talking about how great REX MUNDI #0 was. They also had the good taste to quote Aaron Weisbrod of Greyhaven/AICN, who in turn had the good taste to also give a glowing review to REX MUNDI #0.
REX MUNDI #1 lives up to its predecessor. Two issues, and REX MUNDI is one of the best things out there. If you missed out on classic runs of SWAMP THING, SANDMAN and TOMB OF DRACULA, get in on REX MUNDI. This is what it's like reading something that people are going to be talking about in a positive way 10 years from now.
What makes this horror/mystery comic so good? I'd say it's because the creative team, Nelson and Johnson, very clearly care about what they are doing. They care about the story, the characters, the world they've created and all of this shows respect for the reader.
REX MUNDI is the story of Dr. Julien Sauniere, a Parisian physician who is investigating an uncomfortably realistic occult mystery with the logic of Sherlock Holmes and the cool of Philip Marlowe and the familiarity with black magick of Clive Barker's Harry D' Amour. Sauniere operates in a 1933 Paris where the Catholic Church is still conducting The Inquisition. Sauniere's investigations into a stolen manuscript (involving Merovingian Kings -- supposedly the descendants of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene in all the conspiracy lit, which isn't mentioned here) leads him to the site of a ritualistic murder. He visits a rabbi friend for wisdom and background information on some of the Kabalistic clues he's encountering. In the world of REX MUNDI, Jews are being persecuted by the Inquisition and it's this kind of attention to detail that lets you know that Nelson and Johnson are very smart and have created a well-conceived world. There's something evil stalking this alternative-Paris. It is frightening, violent, occult and yet, subtle. We won't be seeing giant comic book demons here.
The creators have captured another period in time, one that never quite existed, and they take us there. Turning the pages, you can feel the cold and the dread. There's a powerful tension in the words and art. It is all presented realistically and never luridly.
Arvid Nelson and Eric Johnson (or Eric J. as he seems to go by) - remember those names because soon people are going to be writing and talking about them a great deal.
NEW X-MEN #135
Written by Grant Morrison
Pencils by Frank Quitely; Inks by Tim Townsend
Published by Marvel Comics
A Jon Quixote Review
I’m going to tell you right now: I don’t like what Grant Morrison is doing to the X-Men.
I liked it when the X-Men lived in the Marvel Universe – it made it a lot more fun to be a fan when you could have Spider-Man swing by for a panel or two, and not seem totally out of place. I liked it when the mutations were subtler; the race-analogy worked better when I related to the young mutants. I liked to read about a world where the mutants were feared and admired, where the bigotry was tinged by jealousy, a feeling of being left-behind or passed over while your neighbors took that next evolutionary step – the hatred felt more human. I don’t think anybody in that universe really wants to be a Jell-O mold, a floating brain, or a sentient fart in a bag. I question the nature of an evolutionary process that pretty much makes procreation impossible in at least half of the cases. I also liked it when there weren’t more mutants than, for example, Australians; 16 million wiped out in the Genoshan genocide, and I’d be willing to be that there are still more mutants than PBS viewers just on the grounds of the X-Mansion.
For the record, I also liked it when comic books cost a nickel and people wore onions on their belts.
So, yeah, I don’t like what Grant Morrison is doing to the X-Men.
But damned if he isn’t doing it very, very well.
I’ll put aside the fact that this is not the X-Men I grew up with and miss. Morrison’s NEW X-MEN #135 is a very well-written book that, despite my numerous misgivings, I just couldn’t put down. I shudder to think how good this book could be if Morrison could reign in his imagination and bring the book down from the clouds of insanity and to a level I could approach from a more human aspect.
Take the characters, especially the new ones. It’s been a long time since I read a mainstream comic book with this many new (at least, to me) characters, and enjoyed all of them so very much. Recently, the first thing a new X-Men writer does is bring in some new characters of his or her own creation, hoping to create the next big one that’ll catch on, get its own title, and maybe, down the road, a movie role, then ride the royalty train all the way to their local Lexus dealership. Maggot. Marrow. Dr. Reyes. X-Stacy.
These characters pop up, hog a lot of screen time, and then disappear as soon as the writer that introduced them moves on. The new writers don’t care to keep writing these unpopular, newly conceived characters in favor of the X-Mainstays…they have unpopular, newly conceived characters of their own to promote!
Morrison’s NEW X-MEN character contribution is Xorn. Xorn has a star for a head…way to go evolution! Yet, after reading this issue, I can see Xorn becoming popular enough to outlast Morrison’s run. He is a fresh, wonderfully-realized character. Xorn has some of the best dialogue I’ve read in a long time, and his Taoist attitudes seem like a natural addition to the X-Men’s diverse roster. But while I empathized with Xorn, and became very interested in his history, every time I was reminded he had a star for a head, I was taken out of the story. “Oh yeah,” I said, “I’m reading a Grant Morrison Comic book.”
The same thing happened with the super-strong 9 year old girl with Progeria. And the floating brain on a leash. And the mutant gang. I had a blast with these fun, distinct characters, but as vividly as they occupied the page, not once did I really relate to them, or feel empathy for them. They’re so showily weird, how could they be anything but thought and ink? I found that as much as I liked these new, crazy characters like Xorn – especially Xorn – the obviousness of their conceptual nature meant I could not relate to them.
Luckily, the story itself presented no such obstacles.
The analogy is hammered pretty hard, but I admire Morrison’s guts. He may have taken the X-Men out of the Marvel Universe, but in doing so, he’s created a tough, complex, frightening world, and is not afraid to use it to its full, horrible potential. It is a violent world teetering on the brink of all-out race war, and devoid of easy solutions. Even the lines between right and wrong are blurred – there is little doubt that Kid Omega, the leader of the mutant gang at the center of this story, is an unlikable prick. But if, after a genocide that resulted in the deaths of 16 million mutants, other mutants are still being murdered in the street, maybe Omega has a point. I found it difficult to begrudge someone in that position their right to take offence.
And I liked that. I liked questioning my conventional notions of right and wrong. I liked reading a comic that challenged my impulses and pre-conceived notions. And I really liked being able to imagine myself taking either side in the conflict, depending on what category I fell into.
5 pages into NEW X-MEN #135, I realized that what Morrison is doing here is not my thing. By the end of the book I began to think that maybe it should be.
P.S. I did not like Quitely’s art. Cyclops looks like the dork from FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF, Logan looks like a Backstreet Boy –the drunk one, I think - and whenever I saw a panel with Professor X in it, I heard the MAGNIFICENT SEVEN score.
Y: THE LAST MAN #6
Brian K. Vaughn – Writer
Pia Guerra - Penciler
Jose Marzan Jr. – Inker
Published by DC Comics (Vertigo)
Reviewed by Village Idiot
Frank Herbert is of course best known for writing the DUNE series of books. But back in 1982, he also wrote a periodically interesting apocalyptic thriller called THE WHITE PLAGUE. In THE WHITE PLAGUE, an IRA operation accidentally kills a scientist’s family, and the scientist becomes so disgusted with humankind that he creates the titular plague, designed to kill every woman on Earth. Much of the book is typical suspense-potboiler material, as characters try to find a cure for the rapidly spreading plague and protect the uninfected women. By the time the antidote is found, very few women are still alive, and needless to say, society as we know it has been changed forever. The book ends with women having become such a rare commodity, their value begins to translate into greater social power, and greater power in general. (At least that’s the way I remember it. I read the book a long time ago.)
In Y: THE LAST MAN, Brian K. Vaughn has conveniently leapfrogged over the spreading-of-the-disease scenario and has jumped right into the social implications – very different social implications. Whereas with Herbert’s PLAGUE he at least gave his women-less men time to get used to the idea of their predicament, in Y all the men died instantly, simultaneously, with the subsequent shock and identity confusion causing the women to go real savage, real fast. For any men in this world, this instant commodification of gender translated not into power, but danger.
And so poor Y chromosomed Yorrick, ostensibly The Last Man on Earth, must travel carefully in this alien world, hunted at every turn, finding an ally here, an enemy there, constantly on the run from the omnipresent danger around him. Thus, rather than resemble THE WHITE PLAGUE, the story is actually closer to the PLANET OF THE APES TV show from the 1970s, only with women instead of apes. Yorrick even has his own Galen: an extra-secret secret agent assigned to protect him named “355” (who is, incidentally, notably less fey than Roddy McDowell).
Issue #6 begins with Yorrick, his monkey, 355, and The Scientist Who May Hold The Key To Everything embarking on a cross-country trek to the scientist’s back-up lab in California so Yorrick can be properly studied. Yorrick and his companions manage to hop a livestock freight train bound for the west coast, and as they make their way west, we begin to learn more about the scientist, Dr. Mann. Meanwhile, elsewhere, we learn a little bit more about Yorrick’s beloved sister “Hero.” Hero has fallen in with a violent group of women calling themselves the “Daughters of Amazon,” led by a demagogue who extols the holocaust as their ultimate “liberation” from men. Hero sinks deeper and deeper under the Amazon leader’s sway, even as the group endeavors to hunt down “The Last Man, ” who, unbeknownst to Hero, is her brother.
Since the premise of Y is so obviously fodder for an examination of gender relations (and since the Vertigo imprint would seem to have, by virtue of its “alternative comics” nature, a progressive sensibility), one could almost expect Y to be very political. Instructional. Didactic. But so far, Brian K. Vaughn uses a light touch, or at least an even touch. The crazies seem to be coming from all directions, whether they be the feminists-run-amok Amazons or the Israeli army. In issue #6, the phenomenon of the Amazon leader’s manipulation of Hero is not particularly gender specific, much the same way Hitler’s rise in Germany wasn’t German specific; it’s more reflective of the fact that in times of turmoil, demagogues who exploit the insecurities of the masses seem to flourish. In getting to know the scientist Dr. Mann, we find out about her hatred of her father, and how aspects of her life were a reaction to him. However, if this aspect of the story will amount to anything thematically significant, it’s a check that will be cashed later. The one interesting social observation in the issue had to do with airliners. Rail is the only way to travel long distances since most of the airline pilots were men, and all the planes they were flying crashed when they died.
Vaughn seems more concerned with the drama rather than the social work. And that too is carried out with a light, but deft touch. He keeps the story moving quickly, but I can’t help feeling that the speed (or the lightness) undermines the emotional reality of what’s going on. The trauma of the story has been indicated on several occasions, subtly and obliquely, but as of yet, not really felt, or at least not as deeply as it could be; the action and intrigue of the story whisks us away from it before we can get too close. In other words, the storytelling is fairly clever, without being exceptionally dynamic or affecting. The result is a comic that is, at the end of the day, periodically interesting. And it seems we haven’t come that far from Frank Herbert after all.
HAWAIIAN DICK #1 (of 3)
Writer: B. Clay Moore
Artist: Steven Griffin
Publisher: Image Comics
Reviewed by Cormorant
I was gonna begin this review with a bit of good old-fashioned dick humor – you know you love it - but the thing about HAWAIIAN DICK is that once you get past the book’s attention-getting title, you’ve got the makings of a damn solid little thriller (“tropical noir,” to use the writer’s tagline), and I decided I just didn’t want the book to stick in folks’ minds as a joke. For the record, the titular use of the word “dick” is in reference to a “private dick,” as in private detective. The title, along with some spectacular preview art, first caught my attention when the book was solicited a few months back with the following description:
“1953, Hawaii. WWII vet Byrd is thrown off his stateside police force after an "incident" with a suspect. Having nowhere else to go, Byrd turns to his Army buddy, Mo Kalama, a detective in Hawaii. He now spends his days drinking tropical concoctions and his nights helping Mo with cases that fall just beyond the jurisdiction of the police. And in Byrd's Hawaii, the supernatural manifestations of the islands' myths and legends lie just around every corner.”
I was pretty much sold then and there, and impressively, the final product actually meets my high expectations. It’s very much a set-up issue, and not quite the jaw-dropping launch of a book like Y: THE LAST MAN, but already I’m falling for the characters, the atmosphere, and the premise of this book, and if the remaining two issues of the series follow suit, I think Image might have a cult hit on its hands.
The story opens with a car theft along a moonlit stretch of highway, a theft which comes to the attention of our hero, Byrd, the following day. Byrd’s a scruffy but handsome P.I. who probably could’ve been played by a young Harrison Ford, and like any good detective, he’s got a touch of cynicism, a strong-arm approach, and a mysterious past. His introduction is handled with a cinematic, laid-back flyby of his beach house that includes glimpses of palm trees bending in the wind, several establishing shots of his mod furnishings, and the suggestion of background music established by musical notes flowing across the panels (a text page at the end of the book identifies the album as “Billie Holiday Sings”). It reminded me a little bit of the manga style of heavily contextual storytelling and a little bit of Steranko’s famed silent sequence from his run on NICK FURY, AGENT OF SHIELD, and instantly endeared me to the book. The Hawaiian setting could’ve just been a gimmick, but the fact that HAWAIIAN DICK takes time out on several pages to linger on details of setting and atmosphere tells me that writer B. Clay Moore really wants the locale to mean something. Doesn’t hurt that artist Steven Griffin (a newcomer to me) juggles a terrific blend of cartooniness and realism in a style that suggests the art of the talented Matt Wagner. Griffin does the colors too, which have a vibrant watercolor feel, though I’m guessing they’re actually computer-generated. However he’s doing what he’s doing, the book looks fantastic. “Tropical noir” indeed!
After Byrd takes on the case, the plot thickens as he begins to wonder why the theft of single car is such a vital concern. Byrd picks up Mo Kalama, a likeable bruiser from the police force who sets up cases for him, and the rest of the issue takes them from weasely informants to tourist-trap tiki bars to the eerie Pali Highway where the theft took place. Byrd and Mo do fall a little into the “stock type” category, but the setting really spices the proceedings up. After all, how often does a standard crime like car theft include the possibility of involvment by the “Night Marchers,” the spirits of ancient Hawaiian warriors who prowl the highways hunting those who fail to honor them? That’s just cool beyond words.
Adding to the mix is a backdrop of racial tension between the native Hawaiians and the Americans beginning to spread across the island, some amusing moments of dark humor, the prerequisite femme fatale (well, actually just a hottie informant), and even a car chase! Sure, I would’ve liked a little more background on Byrd and Mo, but I can hardly complain when the issue provides so much. It really is a helluva package, with an eye-catching front cover, a features page of notes on the myths and realities of 50’s Hawaii, a back cover painting of sexy informant Princess Kahami, and a page more of Kahami sketches to boot. See, now this is how you launch a comic. TRUTH writer, Robert Morales, please take note.
Normally this is the part of the review where I’d say something critical, but the worst I can say of HAWAIIAN DICK is that there’s no perfect guarantee that the two issues to come will develop as I want them to. But that’d just be speculation, and I’m a lot more inclined to think that the creators of such a skillful opening chapter will continue to impress me. Oh, but there was one action sequence – a struggle over a gun – that was a little unclear to me. Sorry, but that’s about the harshest thing I can say, and you better believe it’s completely overruled by Griffin’s clean and energetic cartooning on every other page.
Final judgment: Just a week or two back, we were discussing in the TalkBack the fact that readers always whine about the need for new concepts and greater diversity in comics, only to ignore real breakthroughs in favor of the latest refit of the familiar capes ‘n’ tights genre. It’s sad but true, and yet we’ve recently seen offbeat and imaginative books like FABLES and Y: THE LAST MAN find audiences, so I actually have a good bit of hope that HAWAIIAN DICK might do the same. Check it out kiddies – I want this one to graduate to a monthly.
More information and some great production art to be found here
HELLBLAZER SPECIAL: LADY CONSTANTINE #1
Written by Andy Diggle
Art by Goran Sudzuka & Patricia Mulvihill
Cover by Phil Noto
Published by Vertigo/DC
Reviewed by Buzz Maverik
I have a confession to make.
No, I'm not coming out of the closet, jerks! We're saving that for sweeps month. Here's my confession: "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, although not as bad as you so if you don't want me calling the cops and the press you'll keep the hush money coming...I have never read an issue of HELLBLAZER."
Oh, I was there for Constantine's first appearance in SWAMP THING. But when his own inevitable book rolled around and none of his creators were involved, I said, "Pasadena" because I wasn't that into comics at the time. Since then, I've enjoyed Neil Gaiman's small takes on the character in SANDMAN and BOOKS OF MAGIC. In fact, it was in SANDMAN where Lady Johanna Constantine, John's 18th Century ancestor first made her appearances. Once, she questioned Morpheus and an immortal human pal as to whether they were Satan and The Wandering Jew. Another time, she had to smuggle the head of Morpheus' son out of the French Revolution. She's a pretty good character, in many ways better than her descendent. For example, she has cleavage and doesn't talk in that bizarre slang , "Bollocks and mittens, if it isn't a demon!"
I'll finally check out John Constantine's early solo adventures next month when DC re-releases the HELLBLAZER: ORIGINAL SINS trade paperback. I was looking forward to this Lady Constantine mini for many reasons, not the least of which is that I cannot imagine Keanu Reeves or Nicolas Cage playing Lady Jo. Of course, the way Hollywood casts, we'll probably get Meg Ryan or Winona Ryder.
But it's not bloody likely that we'll see a LADY CONSTANTINE movie, the way the first issue of this series disappoints. There's not a bit of mood, tension or terror in the dialogue or the art. There are a lot of clichés: "...there's something alive in the water..."; "...quite yer superstitious yammering and give me a hand..."; "...naturally His Majesty's Secret Service considers itself to be the right hands..."; "...that box must never be opened.."
Yes, King George's government has conscripted Lady Jo to raise a magical mystery box out of a sunken ship. The box looks exactly like a bigger version of those puzzle boxes from the HELLRAISER movies. Word of advice to creative types: use older, more esoteric influences. Most of us are members at Blockbuster and have seen this stuff.
You don't have to have read comics very long to realize that the cover is often deceptive. Phil Noto's cover gives us an interesting and angular Lady Jo with burning blue eyes, heaving bosoms, a velvety green dress and a pair of flintlocks. Lines in the sandy background behind her hint at both navigational charts and kaballah images. Inside, Sudzuka's figures look like characters from a Disney coloring book, POCAHONTAS 3: REFUSE THE OSCAR. He does draw great ships and wharves, though. Just don't ask him to do an evil sorceress's lair.
The book has some weird flaws that make it hard to decide whom to blame. When Lady Jo, who apparently practices black magick, calls upon a British version of the Swamp Thing, why does she appear so frightened when it materializes behind her? Wouldn't she be used to these things? John Constantine's unflappability and sarcastic contempt for our Swamp Thing was part of his appeal. In another scene, Lady Jo's ward, a sort of cabin boy/girl type called Mouse (don't ask) expresses fear. Lady Jo gives her a twig of elder from an enchanted wood (Swamp Thing, get it). Mouse has such a look of wide eyed stupidity that somebody should have added a thought balloon reading, "Yer shittin' me, lady."
I'm still hopeful about HELLBLAZER: ORIGINAL SINS.
Title: WEAPON X #4
Writer: Frank Tieri
Pencils: Georges Jeanty
Inks: Dexter Vines
Publisher: MARVEL
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
A few months ago, DC tried to relaunch their SUICIDE SQUAD property with Keith Giffen at the helm as writer. That title attempted to mix offbeat characters of moral ineptitude with a top-secret government organization willing to sacrifice their agents' lives for a greater good. The title was a dud and it was quickly cancelled. In the immortal Marvel tradition of lifting other company's concepts, the so-called "House of Ideas" has released its own squad in its WEAPON X series. While this title isn't as good as the classic Ostrander SUICIDE SQUAD series of the eighties, WEAPON X is better than DC's latest attempt.
WEAPON X is the name of the top-secret government program out of Canada. This is the same program that produced Wolverine and was a part of the stuck-in-creative-limbo super team known as Alpha Flight. The program is under new management, led by the enigmatic Director, a man hideously scarred by Wolverine long ago when the furry little guy first escaped the program. The Director has assembled a team of mutants to act as his own military unit ordered to fulfill his own twisted plans for the future of mutantkind. The team consists of evil mutants, fallen heroes, and ambiguous characters stuck in between.
This issue wraps up the four-part "Hunt for Sabretooth" storyline. Sabretooth was one of the Director's most proficient, but most uncontrollable operatives. Recently, he disappeared with information vital to the Weapon X program. For the first four issues of this series, the rest of the team; consisting of Aurora, Wild Child, and Madison Jeffries (AKA Box) from Alpha Flight, the pterodactyl-like Sauron, the evil mutant Mesmero, Kane the cyborg, Marrow the bone throwing Morlock and former X-Man, and some guy who might as well have target on the back of his head named Washout, have been in search of Sabertooth and the information he stole. Their mission was unsuccessful. Sabertooth handed most of the team its ass, raped and tortured Aurora and forced Wild Child to watch. The Director had no choice but to break out his secret weapon, Agent Zero, for the task. At the end of issue #3, Agent Zero tore Sabertooth a new one and plopped the big guy onto the Director's doorstep.
My problem with Tieri as a writer has to do with the overabundance of B-grade action movie clich̩s scattered throughout his stories. The shady boardroom scenes filled with smoking guys in business suits that bogged down every episode of the X-Files have shown up in every issue of this series. Sabertooth is wheeled into the interrogation room on a gurney in Рyou guessed it Рa Hannibal Lecter mask. This may be a bit of a harsh criticism since the series very essence borrows heavily from themes started in classic flicks like THE DIRTY DOZEN, but these old worn out clich̩s might actually work in this series if they weren't so blatantly obvious. This lack of imagination on the writer's part took me out of the story and forced me to wince every time he decided to throw in one of his tired Hollywood references.
The most interesting aspect of this series is the relationship between Wild Child and Aurora. Both characters are a mess; emotionally and physically. Wild Child has mutated into a Nosferatu-like feral mutant. Sabertooth severed his vocal chords and he can now only communicate with hisses, which only makes the little guy all the more frightening. The thing is, Wild Child is a closet romantic and loves Aurora from afar. He's more animal than man, but his love for Aurora makes him the most human character in the book. The beautiful Aurora, on the other hand, is butt ugly on the inside. Her multiple personality disorder makes her cold, manipulative, and someone not to be trusted. She has tried to seduce the Director and has shunned any and all of Wild Child's timid advances. Sabertooth's recent attack has made this relationship interesting, since Aurora's face and body was left severely scarred. This issue's confrontation between Sabertooth and Wild Child was a powerful one. This scene shows me that, when he wants to, Tieri can write some powerful stuff. If this series had more scenes like the one played out towards the end of this issue, my negative feelings for this title would diminish exponentially.
I've followed Georges Jeanty's art since the ill-fated BISHOP series. He's got a highly detailed style and a strong sense for dynamic camera angles. From Wild Child's utter sadness to the menace of Sabertooth's smile, the facial expressions actually change from panel to panel (something a lot of artists have trouble depicting). Body posture and positions look natural, not modeled or staged. The art team of Jeanty and Vines kicks this title up a notch on the respectability scale.
This book isn't flying off the shelves and it's not in my "first to read" pile. The setbacks for WEAPON X are pretty prominent. Since it is basically spawned from a B-movie cliché, this title has to be pretty innovative and creative to break out of that stigma. So far, it hasn’t happened, but there are enough elements to make me want to tag along for a little while to see where Tieri will take this band of heathens.
THE AUTHORITY: SCORCHED EARTH
Written by Robbie Morrison
Art by Frazer Irving and David Baron
Published by Wildstorm/DC
Reviewed by Buzz Maverik
You've gotta hand it to THE AUTHORITY. It's one of the few modern comics where something actually happens in a single issue. As an Authority fan, you'd think I'd be clamoring for their regular book back (it's happening in '03). But as a fan who doesn't read monthly issues, you'd think I wouldn't give a damn. The real reason I like the idea of the Authority appearing in a series of one-shots is that it forces modern creators to actually do something in each story!
The Authority does things, all right. They have sex and they save the world. What more do you want?
This new writer Robbie Morrison is pretty funny without being jokey in THE AUTHORITY: SCORCHED EARTH. He knows when to bring in the humor and when to forget it. Early on, there's a spoof of that boy band guy who wanted to go up in space that made me laugh. Also, an Authority member, The Doctor, saves the red light district of Amsterdam from annihilation with the cool line, "Just couldn't stand the thought of all that good hash going up in smoke and nobody being around to enjoy it." See, superheroes do care after all.
Good gags. Old faces/new threats. A real menace to the galaxy. Super beings pushed to the extreme. And I have to admit, I did not know that Apollo and the Midnighter had a daughter.
Artwise, things are very kinetic here with the widescreen bombast that made The Authority famous. Irving's imagination is in control here and I'd advise you to simply breath and hang on! My only complaint is that Apollo needs a haircut. He's starting to look a little like Prince Valiant.
As we all know, every living comic book pro from Art Adams to Ron Zimmerman checks in here with the Talkback @$$holes for advice on how to do their jobs. Right now, they're all waiting for some morsel, some clue to help them provide better comics to you fans. Well, here it is. Read THE AUTHORITY: SCORCHED EARTH. Go for this level of action, speed and tension. Give us this kind of thrill ride!
@$$HOLE CASTING COUCH!
Well, hello there. Ambush Bug here with another @$$hole Casting Couch. This week we set our casting sights on a comic book character that is near and dear to my heart…CAPTAIN AMERICA. Sure SPIDER-MAN was great. Sure BLADE rocked. Even X-MEN had its moments of sheer coolness. But if any character deserves the big screen treatment, it's Cap. He's an icon. He's bigger than life. People all over the world recognize this comic book character. So how has Cap been represented on film? Well, there was that crappy Corman-esque flick from the late eighties that starred a Cap with plastic ears and an Italian Red Skull whose head looked like something my uncle had removed from his liver. And don't forget the free-wheelin' daredevil Cap films from the seventies where Cap wore a motorcycle helmet instead of a mask and popped a lot of wheelies on his souped up motorcycle. But let's try to forget all of that and make like none of that ever happened. Cap deserves better.
Even though Marvel is missing the boat with their anemic CAPTAIN AMERICA comic book reboot, I think there is still a great interest in a Captain America done correctly. A Cap film has to represent old school morals, ideals, and ethics clashing with present day America. Cap has to be in conflict with an America that he does not recognize anymore. He not only has to face the evil machinations of Red Skull, but the morally ambiguous tactics of Nick Fury, SHIELD, and the government he used to represent. A Cap film should be about America and all the good and the bad that go with it. The world Cap wakes up in is not the Mom and Apple Pie culture he remembers. The rules have changed. New kinds of wars are being fought. Cap must find a way to fit in and make the words Truth, Justice, and the American Way mean something again.
A Cap film has to be helmed by a director who knows America. Someone who has dissected what it’s like to be an American over the last half century. You guys know whom I'm talking about: Oliver Stone. I’m sure this will cheese off more than a few TB'ers. You either love Ollie or hate 'im. I love the crazy guy. JFK, WALL STREET, PLATOON, BORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY, ANY GIVEN SUNDAY, NIXON. The list goes on and on. In every one of Ollie's films, there is a conflict. This conflict usually involves "the way it was" versus “the way it is today." In every one of these films, there is a character caught in between these two worlds. That's Cap. That's what the major conflict should be in a Cap film. Ollie Stone is one of the most high profile directors out there today. Who wouldn't want a director of this caliber behind the wheel of a seriously kick-ass Captain America film? So what're we waiting for? Let's cast it.
Captain America is a hard one to cast. He has to be strong, but sympathetic. He has to look intelligent, but tough enough to intimidate Thor. Damien Lewis (the upcoming DREAMCASTER) proved he has what it takes to be a military leader in HBO's BAND OF BROTHERS mini-series. He's got a strong chin and is a terrific actor. Plus he's relatively unknown so he wouldn't have that unneeded baggage attached to the role.
Cap's arch-nemesis, the Red Skull has got to be played by Robert Carlyle (RAVENOUS, TRAINSPOTTING). Did you see THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH? Okay, not the best Bond movie, but Carlyle basically played the Red Skull with that bald head of his. Great actor. The perfect role for him.
Forget David Hasselhoff. Chris Cooper is Nick Fury. He's played hard-nosed characters before. Throw an eye patch on him and toss a stogie in his mouth and you have the tough talking director of SHIELD.
Superninja and I are in agreement. Diamondback needs to come back. She's the perfect girl for Cap, representing the exact opposite of Cap's ethical and moral views. There's a give and take in their relationship. She's the bad girl who tempts Cap to not be so squeaky clean and he gives her the opportunity to do some good for the first time in her life. Tasty bad girl, Fairuza Balk (THE CRAFT), has what it takes to play this diamond throwing bad girl.
I don't follow wrestling, but pick a wrestler. Any wrestler. As long as he's big and mean and looks monstrous in a skull mask, he'd be okay to play Crossbones, the Skull's evil right hand man.
And let's not forget Bucky, Cap's ill-fated sidekick. This crafty kid helped Cap out of many a sticky situation during WWII, but bit the big one when Cap went into his icy sleep at the end of the war. No picture in IMDB, but Samm Levine from TV's FREAKS AND GEEKS and NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE, is a wise-talking actor that is about the same age as Bucky was when he lied about his age to get into the military. The role will be a minor one, so a big name just wouldn't match.
So there you have it. A Cap flick will eventually happen. Let's just hope they get it right this time. As always, I invite you all to agree, disagree, tear us a new one, or give your own picks. I'm sure every @$$hole in the Talkbacks has an opinion. What is it?
