Hey folks, Harry here... Ordinarily I think well of Mr Beaks - but if he thinks for a second that the sets in STAR TREK NEMESIS are better than Universal Horror films which starred Boris Karloff, then he'll be sitting on an aluminum beer keg with Rav, Massawyrm and Flmlvr during BNAT! These sets look like Holiday Inn's before the renovations. The makeup is subpar and the story is pure tedium. I mean, he's drinking spoilt milk like Mandy Patinkin and just getting plum silly off that shit. He's basically saying that the film is as good as could be expected for being spewed by the bleeding anus of film production. Here's Mr Beaks... He's gonna go back to L.A. shy a few teeth I think...
STAR TREK: NEMESIS (d. Stuard Baird, w. John Logan)
You’ve read El Grande Rojo’s scathing evisceration, and thrilled to Alexandra DuPont’s eloquently anguished plea for a franchise about-face; now, read the third exciting review of STAR TREK: NEMESIS to grace this site and, behold, I declare that it is…..
Good. Well, not “good” in the sense that, say, 8 MILE is good, but good for a latter day STAR TREK film under the auspices of Rick Berman. Good like a trip to the dentist and finding out that you’re free and clear of cavities. I mean, sure, you still had to go to the dentist, but you don’t have to go back for another six months. Hell, while you waited, you even got to polish off a halfway decent essay by Anna Quindlen in a month-old issue of Newsweek. Dental appointments surely could go worse.
In other words, I was somewhat relieved to walk out of STAR TREK: NEMESIS, the tenth installment in this waning franchise, and not feel the need to call for the series’ termination. Then again, I was walking from the Mann’s Chinese Theater over to Hollywood & Highland for the premiere after-party, so while my ebullient spirits may have been a result of having a few drinks on the Paramount tab, at least I could discuss the picture in the company of the filmmakers and not have to worry about punching my way out of the place.
I’ll play Michael Musto later; for now, let’s talk NEMESIS, and why Knowles and Du Pont are going overboard with the vitriol.
NEMESIS begins with the staging of a brutal coup d’etat of the Romulan Senate by the heretofore-unknown-to-me underling race of Remans (Roman mythical implications aside, they’re the Morlocks to the Romulans’ Eloi, and just as pale and ugly), an act which is about to upset the universal balance of power once again. The Remans are led by Praetor Shinzon (Logan just *loves* his Roman lore), a shadowy figure whose seizure of power is apparently motivated by his desire for an audience with Captain Jean-Luc Picard.
Meanwhile, Picard and the crew of the Enterprise have gathered for the marriage of Commander Riker and Ship’s Counselor Deanna Troi. It’s a terribly corny sequence, with wince-worthy repartee being batted around by the cast, but endearing because of their obvious affection for one another. Though I wasn’t an avid fan of The Next Generation, I always did enjoy the interplay between the characters, and that charm, which was so lacking along with every other conceivable attribute in INSURRECTION, has thankfully returned in NEMESIS. It makes some of the narrative rough going, including a clumsily integrated subplot involving Data’s “brother”, an earlier android model known as B-4, more palatable than it should be.
In fairly short order, Picard and his crew arrive at Romulus and are promptly greeted by a cloaked bird of prey. (Here’s a question from a casual fan: is there some kind of Federation ban on cloaking? Why are the Starships unequipped with what would appear to be a sizeable tactical advantage?) They beam aboard the mysterious ship and meet the forebodingly lit Shinzon, who, it turns out, shares a whole helluva lot more than the balding gene with Captain Picard. Yes, Shinzon is a clone of Picard, conceived by the Romulans, but cast down into the darkness of Remus, where he spent years sowing the seeds of the Romulans downfall. With this accomplished, Shinzon now bears tidings of peace, though it’s not long before Picard finds that his hidden agenda is one of pure destruction: first, the Enterprise, then the Earth via some really nasty doomsday beam thingy that’s awfully reminiscent of, for starters, the Death Star. This means that Picard must face down a younger, vengeful, possibly more cunning version of himself to save the Earth and the Federation.
Though NEMESIS is remarkably similar to THE WRATH OF KHAN, right down to the climactic sacrifice of one of the main characters, it does deliver a pretty exciting Starship battle, rendered nicely by the aces at Digital Domain. It’s been a long time since the f/x in a STAR TREK movie looked this impressive, and I’m thankful that Paramount spent the extra cash to, for once, make the whole endeavor feel like an actual film (even the well-liked FIRST CONTACT seemed little more than a glorified television episode). There’s genuine production value up there on the screen, and the sets don’t look like they could be run through by a rampaging Boris Karloff.
It could be argued that bringing in franchise outsiders like Stuart Baird and John Logan has resulted in a Trek film aimed more squarely at general audiences, but, frankly, if this series is to endure, those are precisely the folks that need to be reengaged. To that end, I think NEMESIS succeeds as a smart “Greatest Hits” package with few esoteric indulgences. It’s a competent piece of product repositioning, though I sincerely hope this isn’t that last we’ll see of Picard and company, as the movie’s tagline seems to imply. Surely, there’s a better send off in store for this cast.
As for the party afterwards, it was an unsurprisingly muted affair for a Monday night premiere. The principals were gathered (save for the jilted Wil Wheaton, who was cut out of the film and uninvited by Berman, all of which is detailed on his website here) and hounded nonstop by fans and well-wishers, while I stood off to the side and chatted with our Once and Future Hellboy, Ron Perlman (who couldn’t be more enthused to get started on Guillermo’s magnum Mignola opus). It was a nice, dignified affair, but not exactly the kind of shindig where Reggie Hammond would scout for trim, so I headed elsewhere after a few martinis.
In any event, don’t let a few scathing reviews put you off; we’re genre fans, and we’re essentially predisposed to follow the voyages of the Starship Enterprise until the franchise ends up in dry dock. Contrary to the other opinions expressed here, I don’t think that will be happening anytime soon, though I do share my colleagues wishes that some new blood be injected into this series pronto. That NEMESIS is merely good enough shouldn’t be construed as a creative triumph.
Faithfully submitted,
