Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Cormorant broke in here at the Labs this morning, brandishing a straight razor wildly and telling me over and over that he was going to “fucking show me a thing or two” and mumbling about the WATCHMEN script.
He was so focused on me that he never saw Mongo coming.
Right now, Mongo’s got Cormorant in his crawlspace under the stairs, doing something to him that is causing Cormorant to make a sound like a cat stuck in a timing belt. Good thing he gave me this before all the jibber jabber got going, eh?
S’up, you four-color junkies out there? Cormorant here, and as I’ve mentioned in the TalkBacks before, we @$$holes are open to taking the occasional review request. Notice that there’s some particular segment of the comic world we’re not covering (like anthropomorphic porn)? Give us a shout and we’ll see if we can put one of our diseased chimps – err, that is, our professional reviewers – on the case.
For instance, a month or two back a TalkBacker told us we were drunken hillbillies for not reviewing SOCK MONKEY. I explained that, yes, we were drunken, but that only Village Idiot had a low enough I.Q. to officially qualify as a hillbilly, and then I promised to review the SOCK MONKEY trade A.S.A.P. Well, friend, it hasn’t happened yet because my local funnybook shop can’t seem to put their hands on the collection, but the instant I nab it, I’ll review it. Likewise, to the dapper gent who said we were uncouth ruffians for not reviewing COURTNEY CRUMRIN & THE NIGHT THINGS – we’ll cover the trade when it hits in November.
BUT…
For the TalkBacker who last week said, “Hey you freakish man-monsters, why don’t you review any Dreamwave stuff?” (or words to that effect), I actually made a point of checking out the first two issues of FATE OF THE BLADE, and I review ‘em in this very column. On the other hand, you might want to file this one under “Be Careful What You Wish For...”
And now, without further ado, I turn you over to our resident hillbilly, Village Idiot:
JSA #41
David Goyer and Geoff Johns – Writers
Leonard Kirk – Penciler
Keith Champagne – Inker
Published by DC Comics
Reviewed by Village Idiot
“It’s not a story page, it’s not an ad, it’s not a letters column, it’s...something different.”
Yeah, something crappier.
The above quote is taken from the “Inside Scoop” feature of the DC IN DEMAND page that has now taken over the letter columns page in all of DC’s comics this month. No longer will the thoughts of comic fans around the world be immortalized within the pages of the comics themselves; no, you’ll all have to be satisfied with seeing your thoughts on a message board (and only for however long it takes before the thread you’ve written on vanishes).
I’ve heard mixed opinions about this dropping of the letter columns. Some old, sentimental types like me mourn the passing of a quaint tradition. Others feel the letter columns have been padded for so long, they’ve long since lost their relevance. Still others are glad to see it go simply because they like pissing off the old, sentimental types.
In any case, I don’t think what they’ve given us now is anything resembling an improvement. The new page IS an ad – for DC comics. It’s mostly blurbs about current and upcoming DC issues. The main part of the page is the “Inside Scoop” feature, which includes the quote I used at the top of this review, plus the flagrant use of the words “didja” and “jammin’,” and is signed by “Your MOLE at 1700,” with the “MOLE” part in an oblique, haphazardly handwritten font. (How “EXTREME!”) Thanks for all your efforts, Mole, but I really think you’d be more helpful if you hadn’t merely infiltrated DC’s promotion department.
I bring all this up because the DC IN DEMAND page was probably the worst thing about JSA #41. All said, I thought JSA #41 was a good comic. Not a great comic, a good one. It was a plot-driven issue that took a few stabs at characterization, and notably ended with the surprise reappearance of a classic character from yesteryear. (And I have to be careful I’m not too kind to this issue simply because I’m happy to see him.)
JSA #41 begins when Hourman gets a premonition that all hell will be breaking loose at Tylerco, the company created by his father, the original time-bending Hourman. Soon the JSA is on the scene and waiting for trouble, much to the chagrin of Hourman’s cousin/Tylerco CEO, who was planning on conducting a time travel experiment. In a moment that seems to echo one of the themes of my last review of ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #609, the angry CEO says to Hourman:
“You want to run around in tights like your Dad? That’s your business. I’m trying to do something for humanity here.”
Sidebar: It was about this time that I began to consider the degree to which mainstream comics have deconstructed themselves. Oh, the thought first hit me a little earlier in the issue when the JSA was having a meeting to discuss the situation, seated in a room in costumes, but it was at the point where the above line came out that it really hit me: super-heroes are not longer simply “super-heroes,” an entity taken for granted in the super-hero worlds of the comics. They are now presented in the work as something more explicit; something better served by the definition rather than just the term “super-hero.” They are “people in costumes with powers.”
To more fully illustrate what I’m trying to get at, let’s look at the surprise guest at that the end of this story, and prepare for **SPOILERS** in the next clause of this sentence (okay I warned you): the original Mr. Terrific. Mr. Terrific is a golden age super-hero, or “Mystery man” to be more specific. He didn’t really have a power per se, except for the fact that he could do things really well. He was an incredibly capable guy, that’s about it. One of the most remarkable aspects to Mr. Terrific was the fact that emblazoned on his chest, clear as day, were the words “FAIR PLAY.”
When Mr. Terrific was first created back in the forties, it’s not hard to imagine that this “FAIR PLAY” aspect of his costume was a very simple gesture, a billboard for who he is much like the “S” on Superman’s chest. But now, in the context of super-heroes today, the “FAIR PLAY” means something more, beyond the billboard. It means that for whatever reason, a guy decided to put these corny words on his chest; perhaps in irony, or in defiant Quixotic zeal, or maybe even in insanity. At this point, and taken together with all of his other qualities, Mr. Terrific is a super-hero that exists to be deconstructed. Good or bad, make of that what you will; I’m dying to see what Goyer and Johns do with him.
Meanwhile, back in the comic that I’m supposed to be reviewing, the JSA waits for the other shoe to drop at Tylerco, and Billy Batson scopes out the Star Spangled Kid. Only while he’s doing it, he’s Captain Marvel. This was a little creepy. Black Adam begins to taunt Marvel, telling him that she’s out of his league (in the more conventional sense, not in the way that was creeping me out). They bicker back and forth, and at one point Marvel mentions that one of the reasons he joined the league was to mentor the up and coming JSA-ers with the “Wisdom of Solomon.” Captain Marvel puts himself in a mentorship role, and he’s scoping out the Star Spangled Kid. Ew. Okay, maybe this was the worst part of the issue.
Eventually Black Barax shows up, havoc ensues, the JSA is split up, and the time-bending stage is set for the rest of the storyline. JSA #41 comes through in this regard: although the characterization was more solid than sharp, it gets the puck in the net in establishing the what’s to come and in keeping me interested. The art was a bit of a mixed bag. Whereas before Leonard Kirk’s work seemed a too vague, a little too light on the detail for my tastes, this issue seemed to be his most distinct yet. On the other hand, the visual continuity seemed a bit off: during the Marvel and Adam’s conversation, the features on Adam’s face seemed to change from panel to panel.
Still though, JSA #41 felt good. Despite all the deconstruction I mentioned earlier, the issue still had enough of the classic super-hero feel that the title is known for. I’m sure you’ve heard all the buzz about JSA over the past year or so. If you’re looking to hop onto JSA, JSA #41 might be the issue you’re looking for. And if you’re a super-hero fan with an appreciation for the dense tapestry of comic book universes, it’s definitely worth checking out.
Signed,
Your MOLE at AICN
FATE OF THE BLADE #1 & 2
Writer: Chris Sarracini
Artist: Job Yamen
Colorist: Linda Bergkuist
Published by Dreamwave Productions
Reviewed by Cormorant
I’ll give this to the Dreamwave Productions crew – they’re smart businessmen. Not only have they capitalized on the 80’s retro trend better than any other comics publisher through their TRANSFORMERS titles (and posters, and books, and t-shirts), but they seem to have anticipated the day when that nostalgia will dry up, and have already begun diversifying their product line in preparation. Considering the poor level of writing on books like THUNDERCATS, MICRONAUTS, and BATTLE OF THE PLANETS, bracing for the inevitable day when retro moves from “Hot” to “Not” is absolutely the smart play.
Unfortunately, my first sampling of non-TRANSFORMERS product from Dreamwave leads me to wonder if their original titles will be as vacuous as their licensed titles. FATE OF THE BLADE, a pretty-looking book that combines anime-cel-style art with rich, HEAVY METAL-style coloring, is set in the L.A. of 2035 where an artificial perfect woman winds up in the hands of an ultra-sleazy Hollywood producer. Wow, that actually sounds like the L.A. of 2002, except that “artificial” nowadays means silicone and plastic surgery, and “artificial” in 2035 involves complete artificial conception, growth in suspended animation, and artificial memory implants to make the ladies into nice little “wives.” Essentially, the story is a mixture of BLADE RUNNER’s identity-confusion with a sleazy, late-night Cinemax flick with Top Cow’s fetishistic penchant for scantily-clad warrior women.
And it’s a “mature readers” comic, the first such release from Dreamwave. Instead of a “Vertigo”, though, they’ve scored a “Marvel MAX” – high on swearing and seamy characters, depressingly low on story, characterization, and anything resembling maturity. In fact, the book really seems to dwell on its own unpleasantness. Case in point: the heroine of the story, genetically-grown Mya who slowly seems to be realizing her memories are a sham, actually gets less screentime than her oily “owner,” who we get to see making coke deals, chewing out agents when the actresses in his films refuse to show their tits, and yelling at Mya when she’s not submissive enough for him. We’re supposed to get that he’s a real bad guy so that when Mya eventually rebels we’ll be extra happy to see him brought down, but Jesus Christ, I was sick of this guy by the first page of the first issue! Conversely, Mya herself seems to have no personality beyond the role of a teary-eyed spouse who needs to escape her current life. She’s a generic victim to root for, and frankly, that’s just not enough. Worst of all, her “awakening” comes about when – get this – a hooker from one of her husband’s parties takes her out for a ladies night on the town, as seen in the form of a cheesy montage sequence without any bothersome dialogue or characterization to it.
“If I could bottle this night up, I’d keep it forever,” narrates Mya over the montage. “…the night I didn’t have to cry. The night I didn’t have to pretend. The night I could just be…me.” Then the hooker takes her back to her place and offers viewers some old-fashioned prurient appeal by revealing her lesbian leanings and planting a kiss on Mya.
Did I mention the book had a tawdry side?
Individually, I have no problem with any of the elements of FATE OF THE BLADE, but taken as a whole, they add up to a total grade-B exploitation movie. Whether it’s scenes of hookers swapping spit with skanky clients, producer-guy reminding Mya that he owns her, or drug dealers betting over how long it’ll take to asphyxiate a man with a plastic bag, this book is a shining example of how to do an exploitation story in the guise of female empowerment. They’ve actually out-Top-Cow’ed Top Cow.
The art, clearly one of the big draws for Dreamwave’s books, is very hit and miss. FATE OF THE BLADE is drawn in a realistic version of the manga style that defines the Dreamwave approach, and while there’s some nice detail going on, the storytelling itself has many an unclear moment, and a few too many oily bad guys who I can’t tell apart. There’s also something weird going on with the faces, where faint hatching to indicate cheekbones and other small shadows is so faint and scratchy that it ends up looking like freakish strips of beard stubble. Even the cute gals running around in the book sometimes look like they’ve got some chin stubble going on, and for a book that’s clearly looking to play on the libido of readers, that’s a definite no-no. The coloring is really what saves the book, as it has a richness that’s reminiscent of European graphic albums. The artist isn’t awful, but if this book ever garners an audience, it’s absolutely the colorist who deserves the lion’s share of the credit.
Final judgment: Skip it. FATE OF THE BLADE is surprisingly downbeat and nasty, with no interesting characters to redeem its tone. There are better T & A books out there (the DANGER GIRL collection for one), and the sci-fi element is so watered down as to be little more than a gimmick. Here’s hoping Dreamwave’s other non-licensed titles have more going on for them. The industry needs some stronger sci-fi and fantasy books to challenge CrossGen’s glitzy-but-flat approach.
BATMAN: DARK VICTORY
Written by Jeph Loeb
Art by Tim Sale
Published by DC Comics
A Jon Quixote Review
I remember reading an article in WIZARD (shut up, just because they do more ass-kissing than Tom Arnold on his honeymoon doesn’t mean…just shut up) a few years ago, where they interviewed the newest creative team to tackle Batman. The writer said the usual ‘new direction, reveal some things about the character you never knew’ blah blah bullshit, before going on to discuss his new direction, which was to concentrate on…Batman’s gadgets. And I thought to myself, these guys don’t get Batman. And I lost interest. Very few people get Batman.
I quite enjoyed Tim Burton’s BATMAN. I felt it was an interesting take on the character – it might not have been the best version of Batman, but it was different and well thought out. But the rest of the movies…. Batman as a wise-cracking tailchaser who moves in his rubber-suit with all the fluidity of Robocop in Swan Lake…well, it’s obvious that those guys don’t get Batman. And that’s really sad, because Batman, perhaps more than any other character, has his roots in the cinema. Particularly the cinema of the 30’s and 40’s. DRACULA. Gangster movies. THE ASPHALT JUNGLE. Rainy streets. Women who, political correctness be damned, must be referred to as “dames.” Film Noir.
When writing Batman, Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale revel in shadows and contrasts. They use Lana Turner and Veronica Lake as templates for their female characters. They love to write cops, both desperately noble and fantastically crooked. Their Gotham City throbs with life and texture. They write Batman as an anti-hero, one whose biggest asset isn’t his car or his cape or his laser torch or rebreathing apparatus, but his analytical mind. They are detective stories; elaborate, twisting tales of revenge and betrayal.
Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale “get” Batman. Better than anybody writing comics today. To me, THE LONG HALLOWEEN rates as the 2nd best Batman Comic ever, a close second behind Miller’s YEAR ONE. Unfortunately, BATMAN: DARK VICTORY is not as good as THE LONG HALLOWEEN.
But it is a very worthy sequel.
I have two main criticisms. The biggest one is the mystery, which is simply not as compelling as the original, and the resolution is disappointing to the point of frustration. It’s a little contrived, and very over the top.
The second criticism is their use of Robin. For a series that is supposed to be about the redemptive power of Robin on Batman, the Robin stuff seems tacked on. Loeb does an excellent job of establishing Batman’s solitude, and the fact that he can be so driven that it often becomes a detriment to his job. Loeb takes his time showing us this aspect of Batman’s character; there are enough nuggets of dialogue and poetic moments and concerned looks from Alfred that the reader gets a feel for Batman’s solitude, for the loneliness that is the price he must pay in his mission. And then…RobinSuddenlyAppearsAndHelpsSolveTheMysteryAndBatmanIsBetterYay!
It doesn’t help that Sale draws a 6’6” Batman and a Robin who looks like the kid from SIMON BIRCH could beat him up and take his lunch money. The visual image of the two together, working over the Joker is a little creepy.
But despite those two criticisms, DARK VICTORY is a wonderful read, especially if you’re able (or willing) to appreciate the film noir allusions Loeb and Sale pepper the book with. It’s almost like a drinking game. Find a classic noir title like ‘DOUBLE JEOPARDY’ hidden in the dialogue, do a shot. Pick up an homage to classic gangster movie scenes, like the conversation on the bridge between Gordon and the old, wizened beat cop, do a shot. But watch out for the Joker’s crazy Cagney meets CHINATOWN montage – your liver might spontaneously combust.
And even putting all the little detail goodness aside, you still have Jeph Loeb writing Batman: grizzled, determined, intelligent, alone. You still have Tim Sale drawing Batman: imposing, fluid, frightening, dark. Not to mention the fact that these guys collaborate on Gordon, Two-Face, and Gotham in the sort of perfect unison that, at their creepily clingiest, John and Yoko could only dream about.
This is the way Batman should be done. It feeds the brain, it feeds the eyes. It’s gorgeous, well-crafted work, with healthy respect for the characters’ origins and history. The best thing is, with all the thought and effort Loeb and Sale put into DARK VICTORY, it’s also apparent that, playing with Batman, his world, and all of their own favorite influences, they had a lot of fun working on this book. That makes it very easy for the reader to have fun too.
Title: CAPTAIN MARVEL #2
Writer: Peter David
Pencil art: Chris Cross
Color Art: Chris Sotomayor
Publisher: Marvel
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
When given the chance and the right incentive, Peter David can be a phenomenal writer. When I think of David, I can’t help but think of his outstanding run on the INCREDIBLE HULK. David dedicated almost twelve years of his life to writing the adventures of the big green grumpy guy; that’s the type of dedication that one rarely sees in comics today. David likes to stick with his chosen characters. He likes to develop and put them in situations that cause them to evolve. His 75 issue AQUAMAN run, for better or worse, changed the King of the Seven Seas forever. David still writes SUPERGIRL, a series he’s stuck with from issue number one, which I respect even though I dropped the title waaay back when Gary Frank quit penciling it. David has also been offering a sometimes entertaining, sometimes hokey look at the exploits of DC’s youngest super team, YOUNG JUSTICE, since its number one issue. Adding to a plate already full of writing chores, Peter David also writes CAPTAIN MARVEL, the subject of this review.
CAPTAIN MARVEL follows the offbeat adventures of Genis, the son of the original Captain Marvel, who has the power of Cosmic Awareness. Genis and Rick Jones, the quintessential sidekick to beat all sidekicks, are bonded together by the Nega- Bands, which are the source of Genis’ power. Rick and Genis switch places between the real world and the Microverse when the bands are clanged together. CAPTAIN MARVEL’s previous series was a wacky romp from one cosmic brouhaha to another. The series was recently re-launched during the over-hyped U-DECIDE promotion.
Although Marvel’s brainless U-DECIDE promotion represented all that is wrong with the company today, one good thing came from it: it got Peter David to try his hand at serious writing again. You see, my theory is that David has been a bit jaded since he left INCREDIBLE HULK and, to a lesser extent, AQUAMAN. Towards the end of David’s INCREDIBLE HULK run, he kind of petered out when it came to inspired work, but I blame this on the Marvel editorial staff from that era. For years, David was given free reign with characters that he almost single-handedly developed, but because company-wide crossovers were the flavor of the week at the time, David was forced to incorporate storylines like ONSLAUGHT and HEROES REBORN into his Hulk opus and the stories were hurt because of it. And who can blame the guy? Who wants to skid their own storyline to a screeching halt because the company bigwigs demand a Wolverine appearance? I suspect David felt the same frustration when he was bumped from AQUAMAN because Eric Larsen wanted to play with the character (a move that eventually led to the cancellation of that series).
After leaving both titles, David continued writing for the big two, but his writing style was completely different. Gone were the complex storylines involving multiple characters, plots that twisted like mountain roads, deft psychoanalytical themes, and tension-relieving humor. In its stead were cartoony tales of a team of sidekicks (YOUNG JUSTICE, supposedly geared towards a younger audience) and a fly by the seat of your pants super hero buddy book. David admitted from the get-go that he didn’t really have a plan when he chose to write CAPTAIN MARVEL. He just decided to throw Rick and Genis on one roller coaster ride after another and went where the plot took him. The lack of direction showed through in the series. This type of attitude seemed to turn off David’s fans who avidly followed his well-planned plots in INCREDIBLE HULK and AQUAMAN. It looked like David was merely collecting a paycheck and not even trying his hand at anything of great depth anymore. People didn’t really take to the book and it was in danger of cancellation.
After a much publicized, completely unprofessional, and quite possibly staged disagreement between David and the higher ups at Marvel (namely Joe Quesada and Bill Jemas), the challenge was set to re-launch CAPTAIN MARVEL with two other books. The book with the most sales doesn’t get canceled. While we @$$holes stand firm in our wholesale loathing of this shameless promotion, one good thing came from U-DECIDE; it lit a fire under Peter David. For the first time since INCREDIBLE HULK, David is writing great stuff again. Like the characters David writes about in CAPTAIN MARVEL, this title and its previous incarnation are worlds apart.
The previous CAPTAIN MARVEL series, at times, provided me with at least one good hearty laugh per month and that’s why I stuck with the title. Peter David is a pretty decent humor writer. In CAPTAIN MARVEL’s previous series, a demon was in search of a large number of virgins, and where was the perfect place to find this many virgins? That’s right. A comic book store. Pretty humorous stuff. Sure it’s not “Grandpa gets smacked in the nuts with a nail-studded baseball bat” funny, but not much is these days. This new CAPTAIN MARVEL series hasn’t dropped the humor completely (Jones still has his flippant, smart-@$$ed personality), but David has decided to pull back the goofiness that was preventing the fans from taking the title seriously.
These are still the same characters, but David is actually plotting and developing something here. Genis’ Cosmic Awareness has been amped. He sees all possible crimes, misdeeds, and indiscretions going on in the entire universe at once. He also sees what will be the result of these events in the future. Genis is forced to pick and choose which crime is worthy of being stopped and which needs to happen for the betterment of the universe. This is a major responsibility, a burden no single man should have to bear. But its all on Genis’ shoulders and it’s taking its toll on his sanity. David is writing a riveting descent into madness story centering around characters he merely touched upon in the previous CAPTAIN MARVEL series.
To top it all off, in issue #2, we are treated to a guest appearance by the most fleshed-out Punisher you will ever see as long as Garth Ennis is still writing that character’s title. This is no gratuitous guest shot. The Punisher has a reason for showing up in this title and what happens in this issue will have you reading the final pages over a few times and saying, “Wow, did the Punisher really do what I think he did?” And for those of you thinking he actually broke down and cried like Jones said, read it again, between the lines. Chilling stuff. Stuff that separates a writer who is once again trying, like David, and a writer like Ennis who quit trying long ago and is now merely collecting a paycheck and pissing on characters.
I could write another complete review centering on Chris Cross’s amazing art in this issue, but I’ve babbled long enough already. Let me just say that paired with Chris Sotomayor’s beautiful colored art, this comic is a truly unique artistic experience to witness. I don’t think these colors have been in comics before and if they have, they haven’t been done this well. The panels don’t merely tell the story, Cross provides camera angles that throw one into the action. At times, it takes a while to understand what is going on and some panels may be hard to understand, but I think that is partially due to the fact that one is not used to looking at this type of art in comic book form.
Everyone who was working on CAPTAIN MARVEL has upped it a notch between the end of the last series and its recent re-launch. There are plenty of writers out there today who have blown their creative loads and are now simply collecting paychecks and gliding by on past glories. Peter David isn’t one of them. At least he isn’t one of them anymore. It took him a while, but he is once again telling dynamic, thought-provoking stories about heroes, villains, and the normal people that get caught in between.
DANGER GIRL: THE ULTIMATE COLLECTION (TPB)
by J. Scott Campbell & Andy Hartnell
published by Cliffhanger Comics/ Wildstorm/ DC
reviewed by Buzz Maverik
I really love your peaches / Want to shake your tree.
-- The Steve Miller Band
Erratic thoughts and mood swings on DANGER GIRL: THE ULTIMATE COLLECTION trade paperback:
THE ULTIMATE COLLECTION? Does that mean this is THE ULTIMATE DANGER GIRL? I thought Marvel did the Ultimate books. Is Jemas suing because somebody used the word "ultimate" without his permission? And if this really was the Ultimate Danger Girl, wouldn't Ultimate Abbey Chase, our heroine, spray Ultimate Johnny Barracuda, our Bruce Campbell-style comedy relief, with Raid and sick fire ants on him?
How can anybody not love DANGER GIRL? This is the ultimate (there's that word again) AICN comic book, complete with an introduction by the real Bruce "Ash" Campbell himself. You have a team of female secret agents working for a Sean Connery look-a-alike (I'm picturing more Darryl Hammond impersonating Connery than the actual Seanship: "Rough? That's how yer mother likes it, eh, Trebeck ?") to stop an evil, comic book fantasy cabal of neo-Nazi terrorists called, and I love this, The Hammer. That's where our heroine, Abbey Chase, is brought into the team. Like an Indiana Jones with breast implants, Abbey is an expert on mystic artifacts who works outside the law. She's also good with a gun and her dukes. The Danger Girls need Abbey to help them keep a set of mystic armor out of the Hammer's clutches.
Yeah, DANGER GIRL can be compared to TOMB RAIDER, RELIC HUNTER, VIP, ALIAS the T.V.-show-not-th'-comic, the afternoon shift at Hooters, and the movie version of CHARLIE'S ANGELS. But it can also be compared favorably to old adventure comic strips like STEVE CANYON and TERRY & THE PIRATES. Co-creator J. Scott Campbell is clearly a huge fan on the Indiana Jones films, the Bond movies, TRUE LIES, and suspense / action-adventure flicks in general. He is a master of using the comic medium to combine his influences and take them into their own realm. The action is fantastic. It's amazing to see the difference in comics from the time DANGER GIRL started about five years ago. So many of this year's comics are static, sedate, using an entire issue to give us what comics up until now have always been able to provide in a few panels and with greater detail. DANGER GIRL is crammed with chases, fights, rescues, exotic locations, bizarre characters and humor.
I think I detected more than a few hints of Harvey Kurtzman's LI'L' ANNIE FANNIE strip from PLAYBOY. At one time I dismissed DANGER GIRL as a T & A comic, which was a mistake. Some T & A is present, but it's really played for laughs. The women are cartoony hot . The funny thing is, exaggerated as they are, their proportions are still more realistic than many female characters drawn by other artists in more photographic styles. I mean, does this stuff actually directly turn on any of you? It might get you to thinking about real Tees and real Ayes, but otherwise you're in the category of guys who want to make it with Betty Rubble and Jane Jetson. But, hey, before starting PLAYBOY, Hef used to sit around his apartment all day drawing porno versions of BLONDIE strips.
If there's one flaw in this incredibly fun and funny funnybook, it's that the movie homages are less homages and too close to being direct lifts from the actual movies. We get several versions of the truck chase from RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, for example. There's the gator run from LIVE & LET DIE. We see almost the entire chateau escape from TRUE LIES. Probably the worst scene of this nature is the assembly of the armor, which is way too close the opening of the ark sequence, also from RAIDERS. These are only a few of the examples. For a homage to be effective, we should be reminded of the original - be able to identify it - but not be shown it all over again.
In the end, I think you'll be saying what I'm saying: "I want more DANGER GIRL! "
Title: MASTER OF KUNG FU #2
Writer: Doug Moench
Pencils: Paul Gulacy
Inks: Jimmy Palmiotti
Publisher: Marvel MAX
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
As I flipped through the most recent issue of MASTER OF KUNG FU, I couldn’t help wishing it was more than what it was. Here we have Shang Chi, a legend in comic book kung fu. We have a team of creators who wrote some of the original adventures of this character. And we have an imprint that allows the creators to cut loose with R-rated material centering on classic Marvel characters. This should be a winning combo, and it’s not bad. It’s just not as good as I want it to be. Let me explain.
It’s been about twenty years since Shang Chi had his own monthly series. Back then, Marvel tried to cash in on the Kung Fu craze of the late seventies and decided to create their own character - a character that looked a lot like Bruce Lee. From the issues I have picked up throughout the years, the series was pretty good. Doug Moench and Paul Gulacy took all of the basic elements of films like ENTER THE DRAGON, FISTS OF FURY, THE CHINESE CONNECTION, and A GAME OF DEATH, and created a series filled with international intrigue, espionage, and of course, martial arts mayhem. At the time, the comic reflected the high points of those films and the series was successful because of it. The good thing is that Gulacy and Moench are doing it all over again with this new MASTER OF KUNG FU series. The problem is that it is twenty years later and things have changed a bit.
Gone are the days when one could throw out terms like kung fu or have the hero swing a chop-socky fist and pass it off as the real deal. The crowd demands details. The crowd wants to see actual kung fu moves. Okay, maybe I shouldn’t speak for the crowd. I want to see details and actual moves. But so far, MASTER OF KUNG FU hasn’t really shown any of this. I’m not saying that Moench and Gulacy haven’t done their homework on this genre, but it ain’t showing up in the finished product.
You see, in the last year, I think I’ve been spoiled with such superb blends of comic books and kung fu with titles such as Chuck Dixon’s WAY OF THE RAT and Kagan McLeod’s INFINITE KUNG FU. Dixon’s book takes kung fu mythology and mixes it in with high octane martial arts action. McLeod’s book features characters that blend from panel to panel with such fluidity that you can almost see the kung fu take life on the page. MASTER OF KUNG FU doesn’t have any of this.
I’ve read the first two issues of this new MASTER OF KUNG FU series and I’m still having trouble making sense of the whole thing. It involves a secret cult, a bunch of techno-ninjas, an immortality serum, and some machine that turns lightning into a weapon. Shang Chi has been out of the loop for quite a while. Why not re-introduce him in a simple story featuring his martial arts talents? Why is Moench making things so complicated? I know the old series was hip-deep in international intrigue, but there is a whole generation who haven’t a clue who this character is. Moench is doing a great disservice to the fans by going the convoluted route with this title. Long time fans may like the way Moench is honoring the old series, but I’ll bet people who are just being introduced to this character are scratching their heads, trying to make sense of the panels of discourse taking up much of the space in this book. And without those new fans, the long-timers are SOL. No new readers means no further adventures of Shang Chi.
Forget the plot. I already have. My main beef is with the art. The fact that Shang Chi is the Master of Kung Fu is being shoved down our throats, but I haven’t seen anything to indicate this so far. Gulacy is an extremely talented artist. I love the collage of images that decorate his classic covers. His highly stylized art has graced the pages of many, many comic books. He’s one of those artists who is immediately recognizable. That doesn’t mean he’s beyond criticism though.
This book should be about the kung fu. When the characters are kicking ass, I want to see one bone-crushing move lead to the next. Sure we see Shang Chi kick and throw punches, but if you’re going to have a series focusing on a so-called Master of the Kung Fu Arts, why do the characters seem to be in such static poses? Why not follow through with the moves, taking the extra time to focus on the Kung Fu in the title on the cover of this book? What Gulacy gives us is a mishmash of martial arts poses. There’s no continuity from panel to panel. The highlight of all martial arts maneuvers is the fluidity from execution to follow-through. None of that is taken into consideration with this book.
Hey, this is just issue #2. It ain’t over yet. I’m going to stick with the title to see if this cockeyed plot makes any sense in the end. Moench and Gulacy have two more issues to rectify the mistakes made in the first half of this mini-series. I can say if you are looking for great martial arts comics, there are others out there that are far superior. Check out WAY OF THE RAT and tell me the story isn’t more intriguing. Take the time to track down an issue of INFINITE KUNG FU and tell me the kung fu doesn’t read better on the page. I expected more. This book has a long way to go to live up to the title, MASTER OF KUNG FU.
G.I. JOE: FRONTLINE #1
Writer: Larry Hama
Artist: Dan Jurgens
Publisher: Image Comics
Reviewed by Cormorant
Regular @$$hole readers may recall that I’m a staunch apologist for Marvel’s original G.I. JOE series by Larry Hama, as lauded in reviews of the recent trade paperback reprints here and here. So it was that I approached Image’s second G.I.JOE series, featuring rotating creative teams starting with Hama himself, with both heady anticipation and a good deal of trepidation. On one hand, I’ve been tremendously nostalgic for Hama’s well-crafted, professional stories in light of Image’s awkward (if well intentioned) mishandling of the G.I. JOE relaunch, and yet…the last Hama story I read was a laughable chapter in the otherwise excellent BATMAN: NO MAN’S LAND, so I was more than a little concerned that he’d gone “Claremont” on me.
In the end, G.I. JOE: FRONTLINE proves to be both entertaining nostalgia and a bit of a disappointment at the same time. Hama’s still got his core storytelling chops and still can stage a kick-ass action scene, but there’re some very awkward dialogue moments, and one or two instances of the most painful exposition this side of…well…Chris Claremont.
The story’s set in the mid-90’s, just following the disbanding of the G.I. JOE team, but involving that time-honored standard for thrillers and action flicks - one…last…mission!. And it’s seemingly a simple one – pick up and escort an experimental satellite targeting module to New York – but in the Hama tradition, there’s some skullduggery going on behind the Joes’ backs at the Pentagon, and wouldn’t you know it, those terrorist bums at Cobra have their own designs on the module. Hama wisely fills out the Joe roster with all the old favorites – Snake-Eyes, Scarlet, Duke, Stalker, and Gung-Ho – and even throws in a guest appearance by General Joe Colton, a pre-existing Hama supporting player based on the *original* G.I. Joe action figure from the 60’s (he’s got the beard and everything, but when will we see the Kung Fu Grip?). It’s a fun conceptual nod. On the bad guys’ side, we also see the popular staples: Cobra Commander, Destro, Zartan, Dr. Mindbender, and those delightful terrorists-by-way-of-Aussie-trash-bikers, the Drednoks.
The story’s a pretty straightforward game of cat-and-mouse, with a few leftover soap operatics from the old G.I. JOE series (namely the Snake-Eyes/Scarlet relationship and the Destro/Baroness relationship) to give it a little character. I was bummed to see that the soap opera stuff, one of the more entertaining elements of the original series, made for the most awkward scenes in FRONTLINE. The exposition is truly painful at points, which is unusual for Hama since he’s usually so good with intertwining subplots, and his ultra-taut storytelling in the famed silent issue of the old series was the very picture of economy. Either he’s getting rusty, or his heart’s just not in the new series; I’m guessing a little of both. Other dialogue stumbles include an odd avoidance of contractions, leading to some weirdly formal lines for soldiers, and a moderate-to-high level of cheesiness in general.
Luckily there’s shooting a’plenty to distract from the yakkity-yakking, highlighted by the scene where a Cobra VTOL* jet (* that’s Vertical Take-Off & Landing to you civilians, and yes, Hama’s mania for military acronyms is back in full force) stages an assault on the train carrying the device. Here’s where Hama has some fun, and artist Dan Jurgens absolutely nails the high point of the action: Duke leaping between boxcars while chewing up the cockpit of the Cobra jet with his 9mm pistol! Very nice stuff. As always, though, Hama incorporates little tidbits of real military tactics to give the Hollywood cinematics a little grounding. Frankly, while I enjoyed the John Woo-style leaping, I kinda wish Hama would have taken some of the real-world tactics a little further. It’s common knowledge that these retro comics are being snapped up by a much older audience than they were originally intended for (for better or worse), and as such, I think the book could’ve benefited from the grittier realism that Hama once incorporated into G.I. JOE SPECIAL MISSIONS (remember the issue where a generic Joe recruit got tortured and then run over by an APC? Ah, fun times!).
Visually, the book may appear less detailed than its regular series counterpart, but longtime pro Dan Jurgens is actually a far more accomplished storyteller than the flashy-but-inexperienced artists on that book. Bob Layton’s inks don’t seem to do a lot for his work, but there’s no denying the general air of professionalism to the book. For an old fan, it’s also just cool to see the team’s most memorable members back in their signature costumes (from before the toy line forced them into increasingly silly gear).
Final judgment: This book is fair to middlin’. Overall, I’d say it’s superior to the relaunched book, but it’s a good ways off from being as strong as Hama’s best 80’s material. I’d like to think he’ll become more comfortable as the four-part story progresses, but right now I can only recommend this book to longtime G.I. JOE fans looking for some of the professionalism that the Image revamp has been lacking. Curious newcomers are instead directed to Marvel’s reprint trades of the 80’s material, of which a new volume hits this very week (the one with the really cool jet fighter showdown!).
DV8: NEIGHBORHOOD THREAT (TPB)
written by Warren Ellis
penciled by Humberto Ramos, Michael Lopez, Juvaun Kirby, Kevin West
published by Wildstorm - I O' The Storm / DC
reviewed by Buzz Maverik
Somewhere around 1984, I read an article in ROLLING STONE by a young writer that mostly talked about how vapid the kids were at his college. The article implied that the Baby Boomers were morally, politically and stylistically superior.
"Way to suck up to those old hippies and get published in ROLLING STONE," I thought, after noting that the author's name was Bret Easton Ellis and that he was exactly my age.
Ellis' bio said that his first novel LESS THAN ZERO had recently been published. I immediately got ahold of a copy and read it. Great, I thought, he's depicted our entire age group not just as scumbags (that I could live with) but as stupid scumbags. Somewhere along the line, I read that one of his professors at Bennington had helped him get an agent, or publisher or something (I'm hazy because I do roughly as many drugs as the average Ellis character). I found this interesting. Ellis seemed to be building a career by appealing to the Baby Boomer generation's feelings of superiority. He was showing them how wonderful they were by telling them how appalling Gen X (as we came to be known) was.
Here was a writer who was still an undergraduate, who could have been a spokesman for his generation, who was confirming what the last group wanted to hear. He didn't offer any alternatives in his characterizations, everybody born after 1964 was apparently an airheaded sociopath. Technically, Ellis and I, both born in '64, also could be categorized as the last of the Baby Boomers. I happen to have been born on the night the Beatles first played THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW. In fact, Ringo Starr himself assisted with my birth between sets, leaving one of his famous rings and a drumstick inside Ma Maverik's uterus, as well as making off with my birth caul.
About 10 years or so after the publication of LESS THAN ZERO, another precocious young man, this time named Harmony Korine (did his parents hate him or what?) sold out his age group to a Baby Boomer with a screenplay called KIDS. Korine was even younger than Ellis, but again he connected with the Boomers by telling them that kids his age were brutal, amoral, diseased little scumbags. This finally brings us to DV8: NEIGHBORHOOD THREAT.
In the introduction to this trade paperback, writer Warren Ellis (related to Bret? I dunno, wouldn't that make him Warren Easton Ellis?) tells us that when Wildstorm suit Jim Lee pitched him the series, he asked Ellis if he'd seen KIDS. It was the KIDS angle that brought Ellis, a Baby Boomer, aboard. I don't know if it was the KIDS analogy or the general, overbearing superhero deconstruction that was en vogue at the time, but something doomed DV8 to negativity and nastiness.
This is an X-MEN comic because it was created by Jim Lee and everything he ever created was an X-MEN comic despite what it was called. These are the bad X-MEN, the Deviants. As far as the kid characters themselves, Ellis does his only good work in the series here. Some of the kids are likable (like the Wolverine kid and the Bishop kid) but some are quite unlikable (like the Cyclops kids and his twin sister). They are all working for, or are the property of an evil, poorly drawn female version of Charles Xavier by the name of, get this, Ivana Baiul (gee, they really worked hard to come up with that Russian-sounding name. Hey, Jim, let's combine Ivana Trump's first name with the last name of that skater babe who got busted for drunk driving), who abuses the Cyclops-kid sexually (and yes, dudes-who-can't-get-laid, it is abuse). At one point, she sends her team to recruit a super-powered Manson family, which is kind of an interesting concept but thrown away here. I kept waiting for the team, who is supposed to be wild and unpredictably violent, to turn on her. But they didn't.
The team has a security officer who walks around with his "girlfriend", the head of a department store mannequin. This is sort of cool, but Ramos' art is so bad that I thought it was a severed head until much later in the story. It kind of reminded me of the Dennis Hopper character, Feck, in THE RIVER'S EDGE, who lived with an inflatable sex doll named Ellie. At its' best, this book reflects THE RIVER'S EDGE which came from a superior screenplay by Neil Jimenez and was well directed by Tim Hunter, in that the characters are amoral and not very smart, but sometimes, some of them are trying to grow.
After I read this book, I was trying to remember why it was on my "to buy" list. I hate the style of the artwork, so it couldn't have been that. It had to be because of Warren Ellis, co-creator of my favorite comic series PLANETARY. Some of the things I like about Ellis are here in small doses. The missions (stealing a gray alien from the C.I.A., stealing a teleportation plate from the Japanese government, the aforementioned Mansion family of mutants) and the aspect of an overwhelmingly evil conspiracy ruling the lives of the heroes are interesting to me, but mostly this must have just been something Ellis wrote to buy a new car or make the down payment on a house or pay off some gambling debts. I hope it was a big paycheck.
The series originally came out in 1996. That would have been a good time to stop reading comics for a while, which is what I think I did.
TALES FROM THE CREVICE: BOOKS THAT FELL THROUGH THE CRACK
By Vroom Socko
When I started this little promo column, it was with the intention of plugging comic books. That is, comics printed upon pulped tree matter. This isn’t intended as a slight against online comics, in fact I can’t get through the day without reading Sluggy Freelance or PVP. Then there’s Something Positive, a strip that I’m half convinced Buzz Maverik has a hand in. Great stuff, but they’re not, strictly speaking, comic BOOKS. This week’s pick, however, is one odd egg. Currently being serialized in 80 parts, She’s A Nightmare will soon be collected in one volume, with a Walter Simonson cover no less.
Who is she, and how is she a nightmare? Well, her name is Lydia LaMorn, and she’s a private investigator. And she is definitely a nightmare, especially if she has a beef with you. Y’see, she’s extremely intelligent, has very few scruples, is more resourceful than MacGyver and more tenacious than the D. She’s called a nightmare, because sometimes “bitch” just doesn’t cover it. She makes Jessica “Alias” Jones seem like, well, a passive/aggressive boozer who takes it in the butt.
This is not to say that artist/writer Jesse Chen has the same flare for dialogue as Bendis. However, he has constructed an intriguing rookie project. The story involves one of LaMorn’s colleagues, a notorious hacker. Notorious, that is, for being a massive screw-up. Currently he’s in it up to his neck due to his connection to a research scientist. Who’s after this researcher, and what her project is, I’m not going to say. I will say that there’s some fun action to be had, as well as some smart storytelling. There’s one funny early scene involving a lightsaber battle that has to be seen to be believed.
Lydia’s partner, Chris Blazon, does receive most of the panel time in the beginning sections, but that only serves to add to her presence. In a way, she’s like a non-sexy Æon Flux; she’s smart, cunning, and knows how to get the results she wants. And don’t forget, she’s a nightmare. Take a look yourself - it doesn’t cost nothin’.
Question for Discussion
Do you prefer reading comics on-line or in print?
