Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Mr. Beaks is currently sedated, resting comfortably, and trying desperately to get over the fact that he missed last night’s test screening of Steven Soderbergh’s SOLARIS. This is absolutely the film he is most eager to see right now, and he told me that he hates both of today’s spies with “the burning intensity of a million suns.”
Of course, it’s not nice to hate.
That didn’t stop this first reviewer, though, and I want to warn you... there are pretty much non-stop spoilers in his take on things. He has almost nothing good to say about the film, but I’ll tell you this: the things that bother him are some of the same things that I thought made the script so great. And calling SOLARIS a “ripoff” of EVENT HORIZON is... well... I’ll let the Talk Backers come up with a name for that sort of chronologically challenged brainfart. Check this out:
Hey Harry,
Little Bill here. First time writer, long time reader. I got a chance to see SOLARIS tonight. The latest from Mr.Soderberg and Mr.Cameron and both of them were at the screening. I'll admit it, I was star struck. I saw them both out in the lobby and I just stood their and stared at them for just a little to long. I think I was starting to worry their security.
Anyways, on to the review. It pains me to say this but in a word Solaris SUCKED. It was horribly bad. I was shocked at how bad it was. Let me tell you first off, I like Soderberg and several of his movies are in my top one hundred. Secondly, I went into this movie very interested in it. I knew it was a sci-fi love story and I thought it would make for an interesting story given the talent involved. How can you go wrong with Soderberg, Cameron, and Clooney? With all of their heads put together something at least average has to come from it. IT DIDN'T.
The story is about Chris Kelvin (George Clooney) who is a space engineer of some sort. It never really specifies exactly what he does. Its set in the future, the exact date I can't really pin down, another thing that was very annoying. The movie starts out with Kelvin in his futuristic apartment when two men knock at his door, one of them is dress somewhat like Alex DeLarge (clockwork orange) with a bowler hat and all. They bring him a videodisc with a message from a friend. The friend is the captain of this troubled spaceship. He tells Kelvin he needs his help and the video quickly cuts out. The two men then explain to Kelvin they received this message and sent an assault team to land on the space station and that they lost contact with them. It was now left up to Kelvin to go and find out what is really going on at the space station. Suddenly the next scene is Kelvin docking with the space station. Up to this point the film seemed interesting and I though it was pretty good. Then suddenly a huge TURD appeared over the horizon.
From this point on in the script things go south. First off, the production design of the space station is an exact photocopy of 2001. In every way. In fact the space station that is featured on the old 2001 video cover is copied almost exactly in the design of the exterior of the space station. I guess this is the best time to point out one of many major problems with this film. I felt the whole feel of the film was copied from 2001. They even used some minor score from 2001. It also ripped off from blade runner, aliens 2, event horizon and countless other sci-fi films. Its like Soderberg being new to Sci-fi production watched every major sci-fi movie in the past 30 years and just mixed and matched their script, production design, and cinematography. It did not work. There were also problem with the costume design. It looked like it was done by a designer that thought shinny nylon and turtlenecks equates to futuristic look.
Anyways, back to the story. Once Kelvin docs with the space station he enters the docking area. Which again looks like its was taken from 2001. He sees blood on the floor and follows the trail. It brings him to a room with two dead bodies. One of the men is Kelvin's friend that sent him the video message. Kelvin wanders around the ship and come across a spaced out guy named Snow (Jeremy Davies). In my opinion Davies is the only redeeming factor in this whole movie. He is the comic relief and he is really crazy. It seems that Clooney is very bored through out this whole movie. Its like he is doing Soderberg a favor by acting in the movie, but he knows it's a big TURD and he is trying to fake it.
Once Kelvin meets Snow the script really starts to fall apart. Kevin asks Snow what went on in the ship and where everybody is. Snow tells him that some of the people killed themselves other just disappeared. It's very vague and is a major rip off of event horizon in the set up. Snow really does not give Kelvin any real answers about what has gone on aboard the space station, but he seems traumatized. Snow tells Kelvin that there is one other person still alive on the ship, her name is Gordon (don't ask me)? Snow tells Kelvin that she wont come out of her room and that she has been in their for along time. In reply Kelvin says "well you will have to help me get her out of their" and the very next scene is of Kelvin, Snow and Gordon at a table. It does not explain how they got Gordon out of her room or anything. This is another major problem with the script. It just skips over things that are built up in the script. It does this type of thing several times.
It has Gordon (Viola Davis), Snow, and Kelvin sitting at a table talking. Once again Kelvin starts asking them questions and they give nothing but vague answers. Which he just takes, he does not investigate or try to get more out of them he just takes their cryptic words and moves along. In the conversation Gordon tells Kelvin the problem with the ship is that the planet is intelligent and it is messing with all of their minds. She tells him to be careful and not to fall asleep. After this he goes into his room and lies down and goes to sleep. He has dreams about his dead wife, they make love in his dreams and when he wakes up his dead wife is there. He immediately puts her in an escape pod and launches her out into space. He knows that he is being messed with. Then he talks with Gordon and Snow again. They have a conversation that really goes nowhere. This is another big problem with the script. Gordon and Snows characters seem to be after thoughts in the script. They are very two-dimensional. They try as hard as they can to bring in a good performance; they just have nothing to work with. Its like Kelvin is on this space station alone and occasionally he will bump into the other two people still alive. They will talk for a minute and then the script forgets about them till their needed for some other plot point or lull in the action. After the go nowhere conversation, Kelvin goes back to sleep. Once again he dreams of his dead wife and once again when he wakes up and she is there in the flesh, in his room. This time though he does not jettison her from the space station. This time for some reason he falls in love with her. From this point on its seems to really drag. For the next thirty minutes its one big blur, consisting of Kelvin and His dead wife Rheya (Natascha McElhone) reliving the time in their lives when they fell in love. There were endless shoots of Clooney's ass. Which I didn't care too much for and all kinds of unnecessary footage. This brings me to another big problem with the movie. There is ZERO chemistry between Clooney and McElhone and you can really feel it. That's a huge problem when your movie is supposed to be a love story. This brings up another problem; it is not an effective love story because Kelvin falls in love with basically a Blow up doll. It's explained that Rheya is not a real person, she is simply a collection of Kelvin's memories. He knows this and really does not care. That makes for a pretty fucked up love story. The theme is basically "hey she looks like my wife, she fucks like my wife, what do I care if it's really her".
After the endless flashbacks to of Kelvin's and his dead wife, Snow and Gordon drift back into the movie and tell Kelvin that he has to get rid of Rheya. He refuses and then goes back into the room with his Rheya for another session of flashbacks and Clooney's ass. AAAHHH.
Finally, Rheya kills herself and Kelvin goes crazy. He picks her up and puts her on the bed and suddenly she is resurrected again.
Kelvin tells Gordon and Snow that they are taking Rheya back with them. They refused to will let him do it. Rheya then commits suicide again. But this time she does it with some special laser that will vaporize her and she dies for good this time. This is the real story folks I'm not making it up!
This was another strange thing in noticed about this film. Gordon also had a clone of a dead loved one that was in her room but it never showed who her visitor was. I found this strange because Rheya freely walked around the ship and talks with Snow and Gordon, but we never see what Gordon loved one looked like. It turns out in the end that Snow was actually a clone himself. Apparently Snow had dreamed about himself and this created a clone of himself and the clone killed off the real Snow. Wow that was so hard to verbalize. This story has more holes then Swiss cheese.
Anyways, so once they realize Snow is a clone they decide finally that they want to leave and go home to earth. I personally can't figure out why they didn't just leave in the first place. Nothing was holding them back they just seemed to stay for no real reason? Anyways Gordon and Kelvin decide to desert the space station and they get in the escape pod and leave.
It them abruptly cuts to Kelvin back on earth. He is chopping vegetable and cuts his finger and it starts to bleed. He runs it under water and the wound quickly heals. Early in the film it establishes that clones wounds heal at light speed. So, it turns out he is a clone.
Then suddenly, he is back again on the spaceship just as he is about to get in the escape pod with Gordon, but this time he does not get in the pod and the pod blasts off. He ends up staying on the ship as it crash lands on to Solaris.
Once again, it cuts to him cutting vegetables in his kitchen and he cuts his finger. As he is running it under water. His dead wife walks into the room. They hug and THAT'S THE END OF THE MOVIE.
I'm not making this up. They actually filmed this movie. It is one of the worst I have ever seen. It ranks right up their with Battlefield earth, Ishtar, and Glitter. This is a major set back for everyone involved. I actually fell sorry for Soderberg. He can't sweep this under the carpet. With all of the elaborate sets and CGI work it probably ran them 90 million. So he has to live and breathe this TURD for another year. It's so bad that you know dam well Soderberg, Cameron, and Clooney all know it sucks.
Well that's all for now. Sorry for any grammar and punctuation errors. It's very, very late and I wanted to get this out as soon as possible, so bare with me.
Little BILL
I’m guessing Little Bill likes the word “TURD”.
And everything I’ve heard from inside Lightstorm and Fox suggests that not only does James Cameron love the film that Soderbergh made, but he also didn’t really have any suggestions for what to change or tweak or fix. He seems to be deeply impressed with the film that Soderbergh turned in.
This next reader was impressed by what he saw, and he has experience with the source material. I’m curious to see which of these reactions is the more typical one, or if either one of them is on the mark at all:
Hello, long time reader, first time writer.
There are spoilers in this review
I just got back from a test screening of Solaris at the Edwards Anaheim Hills Theater, and Steven Soderbergh was present (At least I think I saw him). They said that it was the first test screening of the movie, that it was a work print, that many of the effects were not finalized, that I shouldn't talk about it, etc. I also believe that they said the music was temporary, which is a shame because some of the music is outstanding. I haven't seen the original film version of Solaris, but I have read Stanislaw Lem's novel, which I enjoyed a great deal. So I went into the movie as a fan of the book, expecting a fairly close adaptation.
If you are expecting a close adaptation of Lem's novel, you will be disappointed. Soderbergh's film focuses almost entirely on the relationship between Kris Kelvin (George Clooney) and "wife" Rheya (Natasha McElhone, who is excellent in the movie). The "character" of Solaris itself takes a backseat to Kris and Rheya's relationship. For those of you who are not familiar with the plot, Kris is called to the space station Prometheus, which orbits the "planet" Solaris, after receiving news that things have gone wrong on board. Kris arrives to find two people dead, and he eventually meets his own wife, Rheya, who died years ago. Rheya has no idea of her own death until later, and it is determined that the Rheya on the Prometheus is a copy produced by Solaris. Still with me? Good. Each of the people on the station recieves their own "visitor", although they are not featured very prominently. The other humans on the station are a scientist named Snow (Ulrich Tukur) and another scientist, a female (I can't remember her character's name, it isnt the same as the book) played by Viola Davis.
I think that the direction that Soderbergh's film takes is not what people will be expecting. Very little time is given to explanation and discussion of the planet Solaris itself, and if I hadn't read the book I think I would have been very confused throughout this whole film. There is very little discussion on the purpose of the visitors that Solaris creates or even the idea that Solaris itself is intellegent, something which is expounded upon quite a bit in Lem's novel. Instead, the story of Kris and Rheya takes center stage, and is played out in a very interesting fashion through a series of flashbacks (in fact, parts of this movie seemed very much like Out of Sight and The Limey as opposed to Soderbergh's newer films). While the development of Kris and Rheya's relationship in the film is played out very well, at times it seems a bit slow. I can't help but feel that if Soderbergh drew more inspiration from the novel that the film would be much more entertaining. For instance, in Lem's novel, the planet forms different shapes and city-like structures out of it's intelligent ocean, something which I would very much have liked to see in the movie, and that I think would make for some excellent images. Sadly, they were nowhere to be found, as Soderbergh seems to have completely cut out the idea of the "intelligent ocean". Instead, Soderbergh's Solaris just looks like a big ball of electricity, and we are never really given a close up view of the planet.
The two scientist characters who are already on the Prometheus have also been changed drastically. Snow has become the comic relief of the movie (which is really quite necesarry, the rest of the film is quite heavy and dark), and the other scientist has been changed into a woman, and neither seem half as paranoid as their literary counterparts. We are told without hesitation who their visitors are, instead of being left to guess based on sounds and movement as in Lem's novel.
If it sounds like I hated the movie, then I'm giving the wrong impression. The film is very well directed, the acting is top notch, and the non-chronological progression of the plot is very interesting. As I said before, I enjoyed the music in the version I saw a great deal, especially the song in the scene where Kris docks with the Prometheus (a sequence which is quite similar to 2001's docking sequence). Clooney and McElhone impressed me a great deal as well, with Clooney adding the appropriate amount of grief in his performance and McElhone realistically struggling with her own existance.
Soderbergh's Solaris was not at all what I was expecting. It is far more a dramatic love story set in space than an actual science fiction movie, although there are elements of science fiction present. I would say that the film is an intellegent science fiction film, akin to Gattaca or 2001. I can also promise you that many people will absolutely hate this movie. All of the people around us in the theater gave this movie a low score and the common complaint seemed to be that it was too slow and confusing (big suprise). If you are looking for something different in a science fiction film, check out Solaris when it comes out. I highly recommend it.
Call me Doctor Gonzo
Okay. That’s it. I have no idea what to think. All I know is, I love this script, and I have faith that even if Soderbergh hasn’t made a crowd-pleaser, he’s probably made something that will inspire heated discussion among serious SF fans.
Can’t wait for December when we get to find out.
Especially since we can’t take Beaks out of his straightjacket until then.
"Moriarty" out.
