Hey folks, Harry here... I've been horrified by a lot of things in the news lately, I'm sure we all have, but the one ray of bright light I've had is this nugget of neurons! Then listening to Quint talk about the cameras he placed in Harrison Ford's trailer and his new website he's going to set up in Bangladesh... well, seems like the kid knows how to make some money, but enough of that. Here's his report from two of the really cool things he did in L.A. this past week with his partner (ahem) Ravvy!
Ahoy, squirts! Quint, the world's crustiest seaman, here reporting in from my shack, back from a 5 day "adventure" in LA. Though it was a trying 5 days, spent either crashing on the world's most uncomfortable couch that resides in an undisclosed dorm on the USC campus, surrounded by students who didn't want me there, or resting on a cum-stained mattress in one of the hands down sleaziest motels known to man (if you want to find it, walk down Sunset Blvd... if the ratio of crack-whores to street corners is favoring the crack-whores, then you're in the right area), it was worth whatever diseases I picked up because I had great time.
A lot happened in those 5 days in LA. Right now I'm gonna focus on a review for one of the most talked about horror movies to come around since THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT, CABIN FEVER, plus I have to tell ya' about stumbling across Indiana Jones and Josh Hartnett shooting a movie a mile up from the neighborhood straight out of a Paul Schrader movie where my flop-house motel was located... Yes, it was that dirty.
CABIN FEVER
I'm a horror fan from birth. My DVD, Video, film and poster collections are diverse, like my tastes in film, but I do admit horror films are more prevalent than any other single genre in all my collections. I love all forms of horror, well known and obscure. I hold EVIL DEAD 2 up with SLEEPAWAY CAMP and DAWN OF THE DEAD and NIGHT OF THE CREEPS and AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON and damn near every HAMMER horror film ever made... I love the horror genre probably more than any other single genre of film.
So I was psyched to hear all this buzz about CABIN FEVER, which started before Toronto, but literally exploded when it hit the Toronto Film Fest. I was called up out of the blue about this screening in LA a few hours before it started. I thought I was gonna have trouble sneaking me and Rav into this early screening, but we were ushered right in when we arrived, out of breath and sweating from doing a mile of crack-whore and homeless person dodging to get to the theatre.
CABIN FEVER, for those that don't know, is about a group of friends who rent a cabin and find themselves in trouble when the carrier of a flesh eating virus finds its way to their front door. If you're at all into this kind of film that's all you'll need to know about the plot. Let's go into a brief pro and con comparison, shall we?
CABIN FEVER PROS:
-It's scary
-It's funny, but not in a wink-wink way
-There's gratuitous nudity
-Great practical effects (supplied by the always dependable KNB EFFECTS)
-Boobies
-It's fun
-The audience screamed and cheered many times
-More boobies
-James DeBello (who was hilarious in DETROIT ROCK CITY) carries the film... Not quite the Bruce Campbell of the film, but of the cast he comes the closest
-Gratuitous gore
-Damn good writing
-Damn good directing
-Damn good acting
-Damn good boobies
-Scary hillbilly people
CABIN FEVER CONS:
-The hype
That's it that I can think of. The only thing that can kill this movie is the hype surrounding it. This film has been getting an amazing amount of praise and it deserves it, but when people start saying it's the best thing since EVIL DEAD 2, people will without a doubt walk out disappointed.
I don't want it to sound like I'm dissing the movie. Not at all. I thought it was a fantastic example of how you can make a gory, boobie-ridden and scary film in an era when the more exploitation-y horror films are reduced to crap like VALENTINE. We've actually had a fairly strong last few years of horror films. DOG SOLDIERS kicked ass, THE OTHERS was great. THE DEVIL'S BACKBONE was great. BLADE 2 kicked ass. CABIN FEVER kicks ass. BUBBA H0-TEP is a hoot and a half. Sure, we've had to put up with a shitty new HALLOWEEN film and some other low level crap, but things have been getting better, that's for sure.
Eli Roth is one to watch. He wrote and filmed a perfectly balanced mixture of scares and laughs. I'd love to see what he could do with a bigger film and greatly anticipate his future work as a writer and/or director. Good job, Mr. Roth!
Get excited for CABIN FEVER. It's a movie to get excited about... Just try to keep your expectations in check. Although it's a damn cool flick, it's not the second coming of horror films... or maybe it is and I'm just trying to keep the hype down... Ain't I a stinker?
HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE (aka TWO COPS)
One of the things I love about visiting LA is it is nearly impossible to walk around and not stumble upon something filming. Last time it happened to me was a few years ago when I found myself on the CROCODILE DUNDEE IN LOS ANGELES set... Which was... something. Hey, how many people can say they've illegally drank Paul Hogan's personal fruit smoothie blend he demands be available on set?
This one was decidedly cooler. On Sunset, about 2 blocks up from the Arclight Theater, shooting was commencing on a scene taking place in a building with a huge curved glass front. It was the interior of a Rap record label building. I was told the film is about two unlikely partners (Josh Hartnett and Harrison Ford) solving a case about the murder of a rap star. The scene that was shooting when Rav and I planted ourselves on the sidewalk with a great view of the action, was Ford and Hartnett talking to the guy at the front desk, flashing their badges, then making their way to an elevator. They are stopped by a big, bald bouncer lookin' guy. There's a minute of talk, then the bouncer guy makes a move.
Ford punches him in the face with his right hand, then socks him in the gut with his left. While he's doubled over on the floor, Ford whips out a cel phone, talks on it for a second, then hands it to the bouncer. The bouncer talks for a moment, then lets the two cops get up to the elevator while Hartnett looks back, smiling, at the desk clerk... He could have apologized or made a smart-ass comment. Not sure which.
The other scene I saw filming was a car with two scummy looking white guys in it is stopped in front of the Rap building, nearly running into a crowd of gang bangers. Both front tires were flat. The second they come to a halt, gang bangers diving out of the way, they both make a run for it. Hartnett runs up behind the car, from the street, gun out, screaming, "Get Down! GET THE FUCK DOWN!" One of the guys lays down on the ground. From my vantage point, I couldn't see what went on after that, but I know the scene ends with Harrison Ford chasing the two scummy guys off, yelling, "Get out of here, GODDAMNIT!" then slamming something that looked like a script with a red front cover on the hood of the immobilized car.
As a geek whose earliest memories include father figures like Han Solo and Indiana Jones... It was pretty goddamn awesome to see Harrison Ford do his thing in person, especially since he was punching people and yelling at scumbags. I got a glimpse of the Harrison Ford I've been denied in the cinema recently. I saw no finger of doom, unfortunately, but I have a feeling that if I saw the finger of doom in person I wouldn't have survived.
That's it from me for now. I'll be back in the next day or so with my report on the big RULES OF ATTRACTION screening with pics and other cool shit. 'Til that day, this is Quint bidding you all a fond farewell and adieu.
-Quint
