“YOU’LL BELIEVE A FRANCHISE CAN SUCK!!” -- Moriarty

“it’s a disaster of nearly epic proportions.” -- Moriarty

Before I’d even gotten to the meat of Moriarty’s review of the SUPERMAN script, I read these two quotes… and my heart sank. I mean, literally I wanted to go kill someone. I read on about martial arts battles – and I just rolled my eyes. I mean, dear God, what was this asshole and fucking studio doing to my Superman.

Contrary to Moriarty I am a HUGE SUPERMAN GEEK. I’ve literally got hundreds and hundreds of issues that I’ve read. Not just ACTION, but SUPERMAN, ADVENTURE, SUPERBOY, JIMMY OLSEN, LOIS LANE and even those great TALES FROM KRYPTON books that I loved. I have the Fleischer cartoons on 16mm, vhs, video disc, laser disc and DVD. In 16mm I own the original ABC long version of SUPERMAN THE MOVIE – which I love to death, the original George Reeves PILOT – which is amazing, 2 of the 1960’s animated series episodes, a 1970’s Air Force commercial that has a man in a SUPERMAN suit all depressed in the stands of a baseball stadium and an Air Force recruiter recruits SUPERMAN to join the Air Force. My collection spans Golden Age, Bronze Age, Silver Age, Modern Age and up to sporadic current issues, usually when friends tell me I have to check a series out. And don't even get me started on the SUPERMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES -- my god that kicked serious ass - even if this is perfectly pulled off, the Animated Series will be the definitive storytelling of Superman for my book!

I knew Kirk Alyn as a boy, he was at nearly every Houston Con that Earl Blair threw that my father set up at, and he got along great with my parents. So, I knew SUPERMAN was real… I had met him. As a young 6 year old boy, coming back from a Detroit, Michigan convention, my parents took a detour to Metropolis, Illinois not having any idea that it had anything to do with Superman, but when we got there and they actually had a town Newspaper called THE DAILY PLANET and that there was a statue of SUPERMAN there… I flipped. My hair breadth grasp of reality and fiction just converging too much. We went into the Daily Planet and the lady at the front desk had a name plate that read: “LOIS LANE” – I lost my mind. My parents sat me up on the desk and I asked if “Clark Kent” was in, and I was told he was on Assignment. I didn’t tell her that Clark was Superman, because that would’ve been wrong. I REALLY WAS LIKE THAT AS A KID. She asked me if I knew who Superman was, and I just shook my head up and down like a hyperactive Pez dispenser and she opened up her desk and said, “Well… I have a mission for you,” she handed me a bag of green and red meteorite chunks that had glitter on them… I knew at once this was Kryptonite. “Do you know what this is?” “Mmmhmmm, its kryptonite!” “Well, if you promise to make a lead box for this, to keep Superman safe, you can have them.” I nearly fainted. This was so cool… I was going to help keep Superman safe from Kryptonite. I swore to make a lead box. For the next year, I collected those lead weight things that fall off tires, and when I had enough, my father and I made a lead box and we put the Kryptonite in there. I did my part for SUPERMAN, it felt great.

So do I get quasi-religious when it comes to SUPERMAN? Um, yeah. You could say that. One of the joys of being a SUPERMAN nut is watching how each age and each person writes and interprets SUPERMAN. For me the most radical was John Byrne’s YEAR ONE work. Took me a while to get used to it, but pretty soon it became canon for most folks I talk to today. Actually, I’m most partial to the vintage SUPERMAN tales. I loved those. But ya know, stuff like A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS… I just loved that.

One of the chief things that Moriarty complains about in his review is that he felt Krypton sounded like Naboo… Well, I never had that impression, because when they described these war machines, I was picturing the machines from those tales from Krypton books from the late sixties. Now, I’m not a fan at all of Jor-El being a King of Krypton, because why does Superman need to be anymore “special” than he already is. He’s SUPERMAN, making him royalty is a bit overkill, but it isn’t beaten over your head in this script. In fact it is hardly mentioned.

Now while it is completely true that Krypton doesn’t explode in this draft – dramatically it isn’t missed at all, because the peril that is coming down upon Krypton at the time is very dire indeed. And instead of it being just a trick of fate, there is a keen and cruel intelligence behind what is happening. Sort of think of Kata-Zor as big time General Zod character, but if Zod actually had an army and a definite goal in mind. Imagine if we’d seen Zod destroy Krypton’s cities, enslave the population and be responsible for the deaths of Superman’s Kryptonian parents. Ok… To a degree it’s every bit as heavy handed as the whole Jack Napier killing Batman’s parents… but the cool thing is that this stuff happens without Superman’s knowledge. He’s fighting these Kryptonians in the film, because they just want to kill him in particular. That’s investment for the viewer, not Superman. Gives us a reason to hate these characters beside the mere… “Thems the bad dudes” level.

Ok, now the Martial Arts thing… This isn’t Japanese or Asian Martial arts… and in the first battle, Superman is in a Martial arts battle, but he doesn’t know any. Imagine if you had a super powered regular schmoe trying to hold his own against 4 Military Trained… Kryptonian Martial Artists – and by the way for the learning impaired there are many forms of Martial Arts that do not have to do with Asia. And the sentence at the beginning of Ty-Zor and Superman battle on Page 3, Superman is soaring away from Ty-Zor and pulls a backward aerial kick that knocks Ty-Zor into a giant construction crane, which Ty-Zor then uses as a giant friggin Louisville Slugger to knock Superman through 2 floors of 2 different buildings. Personally it reads quite cool. And once you read the battle at the end… dear god… it gets intense and terrifying. Desperate.

The Kryptonian scenes at the beginning worked for me, because I liked the descriptions for how the weaponry worked, you still have the tearful goodbye from Jor-El and Lara to Kal-El. He still rockets off the planet. But we know from the beginning that there will be something hunting him. BUT I HATE THE PROPHECY… that’s too DUNE and KRULL for my tastes. Just not needed. Krypton was a place of Science, not magic – that’s one of the reasons why Superman was vulnerable to Magic on earth… Sigh…

Anyway.. the growing up of young Clark is really great in my opinion. There’s a scene between a very young Clark and Lana Lang that’s just killer in a diner… and the “Rape” scene, isn’t actually that… we don’t see Ma Kent being groped or her clothes ripped, what we have is a mid-America drunken ass that tries to kiss her and she wants him to leave her alone. Young Clark then tosses him a hundred yards away, and intuitively picks the man up and whips him into the pavement three times, nearly killing him. The scene doesn’t play to me like a “Woo Hoo!” scene, it’s played horrific. Sort of like when Rogue nearly kills the boyfriend by kissing him, and how it freaks her out in X-MEN. Here, the Kents in raising Clark have taught him great restraint. They’ve bought him leaded glasses to help him control his wandering eyes. He is so scared of harming anyone that he doesn’t like hanging out with others, he’s extremely introverted and shy. There is never any sit down, “With great power comes great responsibility,” speeches, but he does get stern looks… he is told to go to his room. There’s a great mirror scene for this later in Italy when Superman teaches a wife abuser about restraint. That’s a Kent moment. Loved it.

I’m not a fan of the suit pulling itself on him bit, I’d prefer for him to get in it himself… looking at it hanging on him and to go run around in it outside… skipping, larger skippings… leapings… and the inevitable, OHMYGOD I CAN FLY moment. This is pretty much how it plays out, with a fantastic finish, but that damn VENOM suit is just annoying. Don’t care for it.

So, right now so far I like most of the Kryptonian and Smallville stuff. Very few gripes. Even the cut back to deal with Lara and the Turtle guy without a shell… does that mean they look like the really cool stop-motion guys from LASERBLAST? Even that stuff I like. Why is it there? To build our hatred of the bad guys, even as we’re building our affection for Clark/Superman.

My favorite part of the script is the next part. From the bottom half of page 33 to page 112, I love this script. I do. I just friggin adore it. From the moment that Clark meets a young Lois Lane and decides to become a reporter, and finds direction in life… Till the end of his fight with the Kryptonians, but before the funeral… I LOVE IT!

The way Superman snubs the President to see if Lois is ok… Perfect, he’s not… Ewww, the PRESIDENT… He wants to see if Lois is ok, and he’s shocked when she doesn’t recognize him. The montage of Superman doing good around the world felt a bit like the same sequence in Paul Dini and Alex Ross’ PEACE ON EARTH… Saving people from natural bigger than life phenomenon. This is where the Wife Abuser lesson comes in, and how he handles it is pure 100% Superman. Superman vs the volcano… Can’t wait! The a Typhoon at sea! Wonderful work here.

The ‘interview’ between Lois and Supes is handled very very well, and nowhere does it say cue music and have Lois internal sappy narration. Sorry, “Can You Read My Mind,” has always been one of the most annoying voice-overs in history for me. What’s great about the DVD of SUPERMAN is that you can go to Williams’ music only. Sigh…

Now, Everyone is all worried about the canned supersuit. Well it only pops up out of the can that first time, because that’s what the suit was stored in in the ship with Kal-El. The rest of the time, its handled differently, my favorite transformation from Clark to Superman is when he finds out about the 120 foot tall tri-pod robotic warrior in the middle of the mall in Washington D.C. For those that have never been to Washington D.C., nor read a book set in D.C. or saw a movie in D.C... when someone says something happens in the Mall in D.C. this isn't a 'shopping center' this is the area flanked by the Smithsonian, at one end there is the White House... The Washington Monument is there, The Capitol is there.... Jefferson and Lincoln Memorials are there. Remember the protest in Forrest Gump? Where all those people were... That's where the battle is! As for how this Giant Robot comes to Earth - Well Ty-Zor has a pretty damn big Space Ship. FYI.

He rushes up to the 25th floor of the Daily Planet to an abandoned hallway, and just flies at super speed through the hallways and out the window, so fast that his clothes pull apart at the seams, revealing the Superman costume underneath. That’s SUPERMAN.

And as for this bullshit about Superman flirting and being frivolous rather than taking care of business… That wasn’t even in Moriarty’s review, and to give you an idea how much Superman friggin cares about people. He’s facing down a gigantic Kryptonian robot which’ll probably be the death of him. He warns the crowd… well here… this is what Abrams wrote:

“-- and Superman calls out to the hundreds of ONLOOKERS (not urgent, but calm, protective, strong):

SUPERMAN
Everyone please leave this area.
Now.”

As the crowd departs and Superman studies the robot with his X-ray vision to try and find a weakness, a woman from the crowd decides to charge at Superman to get his autograph… he warns her to stay away, and when Ty-Zor begins to take aim with the robot at her, he risks his life for this one… CRAZY… WOMAN… who wants him to autograph something for her daughter. After he gets her to safety he takes on the Robot and it is just… frickin’ great. Wonderful battle, I’ve always wanted to see Superman and a giant robot in a movie. ALWAYS! I’ve got a major Robot fetish and Superman fetish, two great tastes that taste great together.

No kung fu here… this is SUPERMAN style fighting. Really great. The Kryptonian battles are fantastic, because unlike in SUPERMAN 2, they don’t just start making powers up. There is no finger beams or mirror people. They have the same exact powers as Superman with one plus. They have weapons, science fiction weaponry from Krypton. That’s their “kitchen sink” they throw at the big blue bird. The result… really quite nice.

The death? Very dramatic. Ok… this takes you to page 112.

After this… for a brief while, seething dislike for the film. The Jor-El suicide – words can not describe how much I disliked this scene. The new age hocus pocus of it, bad taste in my mouth. New Age exposition… ewwww. Ok, now I suppose the same could be said of the Obi Wan sit down with Luke on Dagobah in Jedi… but then I hate that scene too. It’s sort of like… Woah, hold up… character needs information that only the dead have… bring in the ghost. It’s clunky and yucky.

Personally, Superman has had enough near fatal comas brought on by Kryptonite that I would prefer for him to just wake up in his grave, as though his body just restarted after the kryptonite wore off. Just anything, but a suicide explanation of some damn prophecy. Of everything in the script, this is the single worst thing besides the Luthor ‘twist’, which Abrams says is out… and the drag the movie to a halt funeral which does no good. They try to make it the biggest funeral of all time, but at this point in the movie, popular opinion isn’t necessarily on Superman’s side. It would be like comparing the death of James Dean to Bruce Lee’s. James Dean’s hits were not even released yet, whereas Bruce was already a big star – thus the size differences in their funerals. Those two are gone… BUT – the Jor-El thing is in I believe, though it could changed… or who knows, maybe on camera it’d work, but I sure as hell don’t fucking think so.

Now if Superman doesn’t get the “magic Jor-El” afterlife touch, how does he learn to fight so much better for ROUND TWO? Well… in the script, JJ Abrams already has Superman doing things to prepare for the up-coming rematch, while they don’t know he’s still alive… I’d just show him in a library with stacks of books, reading at the speed of… SUPERMAN. The Kryptonian’s wouldn’t be familiar with Earth hand to hand fighting, and Superman does need to learn how to fight these guys and quick. And he can read super fast, and I believe he has a photographic memory. I mean, I don’t know, for me, I’d rather see a 5 second scene of super-reading than a 2-4 minute scene of ghosts talking to each other. But hey… what the hell do I know?

The end fight between Superman and the Kryptonians, very nice. And the script plays out, with the exception of the anvil head-damaged decision to make Luthor Kryptonian (Which is out!) the script ends well.

Now a couple of things I didn’t discuss like the whole Gay Jimmy Olsen thing. Jimmy Olsen isn’t necessarily gay in the film. But Lois and Perry White tend to pick on him as though he’s gay. The one by Perry White is very well done, and Jimmy gets his dig in too. But the Lois one, while funny is a bit much, then the next one is too much. This isn’t about homophobia, it’s more about what a character is. Just as Luthor is not Kryptonian, and as WB and Abrams wound up agreeing with one another about… so it is also true that Jimmy is not gay. Doesn’t mean ya can’t put a gay character in here somewhere if you so wanted, just… Jimmy is straight, and he’s straight here too… And technically there could be a really funny pay off in a future film, where Jimmy announces he’s getting engaged and we see Lois and everyone just having to eat crow… But frankly I wouldn’t go for that. Though I would probably laugh at it.

What I do like, is he is otherwise… perfectly Jimmy Olsen. Same with Lois Lane, Clark Kent, Ma & Pa Kent, Perry White… hell even Lex Luthor is correct, with the exception of the flying not of this earth bit. Having Lex in this film working for the government as a scientist and researcher… Actually, it works quite a bit. In fact, he doesn't work for the government long in this script, he's fired called insane, then plots to take over the world for the rest of the film! That's very Lex! And had they kept him human, never captured him, and had him just disappear at the end of the movie, I’d been happy as a pig in shit. As terrified as Moriarty was of Lex being Kryptonian, I nearly had a coronary when I thought they were gonna kill him to boot, but Abrams didn’t even go that far here.

So… How is this first draft?

It has great potential and it has a few major flaws. One of the things that I think happened in Moriarty’s review and the reaction to it was the concentration on the negative elements. Yes, some of those are really bad. For me, three of them (Funeral, Luthor=Krypton and Jor-El Suicide Obi Wan Speech) are truly terrible. I don’t like Jor-El having a clue where his son or with whom his son would end up with. I have always loved the message in the bottle aspect of Superman. Flung into the great beyond in the direction of a blue cloudy world with a yellow sun. I loved the miracle that Kal-El was found by Ma & Pa Kent. There’s something reassuring that if a person with powers beyond those of mortal man came to earth… that good folks would teach him our ways. Most of that is here, its just that scene with Martha Kent and the pieces of the shield… it just felt… Wrong, as if the miracle of that meeting of boy and parents was no longer a miracle. It had the same sort of affect on me as midichlorians. Just as the force didn’t need to be explained, I also think “Why the Kents?” doesn’t need to be explained.

I’ve been being asked by folks in email and chat… Why do we need a new SUPERMAN film?

For me, this is why. First each generation has Superman defined for them. Fleischer, Kirk Alyn, George Reeves, Christopher Reeve… hell, even Dean Cain. Why, beyond the monetary greed of a corporation we’d all prefer to see burn, is it necessary now? Well, look at the country right now. I’ve been traveling around the world quite a bit recently and right now, the United States has the worst reputation I’ve ever seen. Folks in places like COMMUNIST CHINA were telling me how bad they felt for me that I lived in the USA. Same thing was going on when I went to Canada. And when I go to Spain this week for Sitges, I won’t be surprised if it happens there too.

Right now, the American Way seems to be might makes right. The perception of many is that George Bush Jr is a war-mongerer that doesn’t really care if the world agrees with him or not, he’s going to attack a vastly ill-prepared country. Now, Saddam is a worthy bad guy. However, do you remember the immediate after 9/11 rhetoric about the war on terrorism and how it was for all mankind. Well that phrase, “FOR ALL MANKIND” came when we landed on the moon and to me… That was what “the American Way” used to mean. In this film, this fun bit of fiction, Superman has a great scene in the U.N. I loved reading it, and got chills thinking about it.

Superman leads by example and only fights when he’s backed into a corner… and when he fights, there isn’t an ounce of give-up in him. That too is “the American way!”

To gather allies of all nations and creeds, that too is “the American way!” While I don’t think this is an overt message film, at least not as a first draft version of the story, it does set an example to the generation growing up. The Kent’s lessons of restraint, fear of hurting another… These are good things. Really good things to get out there. While I don’t think the nation’s leaders will learn from SUPERMAN, some 4 year old boy… some 9 year old kids might, and that’s why SUPERMAN is important.

Lastly, why do I want to see a SUPERMAN movie made today… this isn’t the noblest of reasons, nor is it an intellectual one. I want to see this film, with a cleaned up and polished script, because all my life I’ve wanted to see SUPERMAN fight a GIANT ROBOT while knocking down and destroying National Monuments that he would help rebuild… and personally… before he left for Krypton… I’d have a Montage of Superman rebuilding the damaged remains of mankind. With a promise to do the rest when he returned.

For me… That’s Superman. By no means is this in the league of BATMAN & ROBIN or BATMAN FOREVER. Right now, I’d say this has similar problems with SUPERMAN 2 though with far superior emotional building for the audience disliking the bad guys. General Zod does rule hard!

It has problems, but in my book there’s far far faaaar more good than bad, and as of now, most of the bad is being addressed by J.J. – so he says – and we’ll keep our eyes on this one. It’s SUPERMAN, we’ll keep ya updated.

P.S. -- BTW - there is nothing to say the next film takes place on Krypton - all we know is he takes off to go. He has too, as long as the the man in charge of Krypton hates the Son of Jor-El... Earth will be in Danger. But J.J. said when I talked to him about not having 2 homes for Superman - he assured me that the majority of the second film takes place back on Earth and that there might not be all that much on Krypton, but he wouldn't talk about plotlines or stories for that.

ADDED ON FOR THE TALKBACKERS...

To The Talkbackers: The Reason I changed my mind in regards to this script has got zero to do with the talk to Abrams or the action in the script. The number one reason I'm ok with the one major change, that most likely won't be changed... Krypton Not Exploding In This Film... Is that the TONE, the CHARACTERS, the SPIRIT, the FEELING you get from this script from the beginning to the very end is SUPERMAN. Not just SUPERMAN, but S-U-P-E-R-M-A-N. There is more about the primal raising of Kal-El to be the man that could be that SUPERMAN than we've ever seen before... and that stuff is perfect. Because Lois is EXACTLY the way she is supposed to be, a strong-willed investigative reporter for a great Metropolitan newspaper that is 100% woman... BECAUSE for the first time ever I really truly feel the Clark Kent / Superman thing isn't a gimmick, but somehow realistic, because there is no SUPERMAN, until the one thing Clark cares most about in the world is in Danger, then he puts on the costume, for the first time with the idea of making a difference, and we see how that changes him. Because we see him talk to Ma Kent about how that makes him feel, because it finally fucking works. Superman didn't stand at a control panel for 10 years and get brainwashed by Daddy... HE MAKES THE DECISION. He decides to be SUPERMAN, because it is the RIGHT THING TO DO. Because the world reacts to Superman, but then reacts to the dangers he attracts. Because I've read all the pieces in-between the problems and I know why those changes were made to SERVE THE STORY BEING TOLD.

Because I can accept that the spider that bit Peter Parker wasn't RADIOACTIVE but genetically engineered. Because I can accept that it isn't a Gamma Bomb and it isn't Bruce Banner pushing Rick Jones out of the way while catching a dose of Gamma Radiation from behind. Because he's still an orphan, because there have always been left over Kryptonians, because I'm very sure that Krypton will most likely blow up in the next film before Superman's eyes... And I'm ok with that, because in this film... IT ISN'T TREATED SILLY ON THE PAGE. What YOU can't see is that the GIANT PROBLEMS you're reacting to are things that have... PERHAPS 4 minutes of screentime tops! Out of TWO HOURS, and the other 116 minutes are dead on.

Lex Luthor isn't Agent Mulder... he's running a rogue area,with nearly unlimited funding... He's working with Alien Technology, he's plotting to take over the world. His speech after he's ousted the President of the United States is CLASSIC LUTHOR, and he isn't being played like a fucking LAND SWINDLER like in the Donner film. He doesn't have retards as crime partners. He is played like a GENIUS throughout the film. And because he is NOT GOING TO BE KRYPTONIAN, as that was a BAD idea in a first draft that was caught and changed before we ever read this draft. So essentially we were reacting to something that wasn't even a problem anymore.

Now fine, if you want to yell and scream and make petitions and protest.... Just as folks did about all sorts of things in the past, GO AHEAD. However, I have read this script. You haven't. I know a lot of the changes that were being made to this script. What is left to be changed could work on screen, and could not. But the remaining changes that need to be made that haven't been made are EXTREMELY SMALL in relation to the whole.

I'm less worried about the script than I am about how Brett Ratner will direct this. I'm terrified of Casting. BUT I do know that the visual look of the film they want to shoot it like is PEACE ON EARTH by Alex Ross and Paul Dini. That they want it to have that sort of Majesty. Because the cup isn't half empty, it is 4/5ths full.