Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Mr. Beaks. You know the name by now. He’s been kicking so much kung-fu style ass since he got to LA that Joe Ferrell just retired from the NRG and ran away cryin’ like a little girl. SCARED, I TELLS YA!!
Why, just check out what Beaks did tonight:
THE CORE (d. Jon Amiel, w. Cooper Layne, John Rogers)
A loopy throwback to such post-Atomic Age sci-fi/disaster epics such as THE DAY THE EARTH CAUGHT FIRE and WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE, Paramount’s THE CORE is gambling that audiences are struck with a childish awe at the very thought of boldly burrowing where no man has gone before. And while previous jaunts below the Earth’s surface have turned up dinosaurs, lost societies and James Mason, THE CORE is relying on the sex appeal of saving the world via the application of hard, cold geologic science to draw in the masses.
Judging from a work print screened in Burbank last night, they’ve come a lot closer to succeeding than anyone could have expected. Though one wonders what kind of eye-popping f/x $60 million is going to buy (most of the main set-pieces were unfinished, and, therefore, nowhere near as effective as the presumably will be), there’s little denying that THE CORE is fully aware of its absolute preposterousness, evinced by its banter-heavy script, and broadly drawn eccentrics portrayed by some of the best character actors working today, and this is certainly to its credit. In this enduring age of cynicism, disaster films wise enough to wink at the audience rather than sternly lecture them about man’s hubris stand a far better chance of overcoming the genre’s inherent stigma no doubt exacerbated by one too many Poseidon Adventures, or meteors the “size of Texas”.
THE CORE is already asking a great deal of the audience by expecting them to swallow this corker of a premise: the Earth’s core inexplicably ceases to rotate, requiring an A-Team of geologists and astronauts (and a plucky hacker played by nerd du jour, DJ Qualls) bore through to the troublesome nickel-and-cobalt mass and kickstart it with a handful of nukes. To do this, the government recruits a who’s-who of the planet’s experts in these many, disparate fields, including a put-upon college professor (Aaron Eckhart); an effete Carl Sagan of the loam (Stanley Tucci); his former colleague, turned bitter hermetic genius who has designed the vessel that will take them to the center of the Earth (Delroy Lindo); Tcheky Karyo (Tcheky Karyo); and a pair of astronauts (Bruce Greenwood and Hillary Swank) who will pilot the ship. Racing against time as wild lightning storms ravage Rome and solar winds destroy San Francisco, the crew frantically train for a mission heretofore unthinkable, while the military (played here by Richard Jenkins) speaks in hushed tones about a nebulous-sounding Project Destiny that might just be the cause of this whole predicament. Meanwhile, Alfre Woodard looks very concerned.
After a scant three months of construction and preparation, the crew board their catheter needle-looking earthcraft and head downward through the Marianas Trench, burning their way past the crust and into the mantle, where they encounter a pesky diamond field and discover a cave described as an underground Grand Canyon (again, unfinished f/x prevented this sequence from being the jaw-dropper it’s obviously intended to be). Along the way, a few crew members are lost, Eckhart and Tucci throw dueling tantrums, and Alfre Woodard remains at mission control looking very concerned, while Qualls remains hacked into every server in the world, dispensing meteorological info and power grid updates, while aiding Eckhart to foil the use of Project Destiny (which involves a terrific “Pong” punch line).
When it’s whipping along under the sure, professional hand of Jon Amiel, THE CORE is a fun, campy time at the movies; a fond homage to its disaster film forbearers that diverts one’s attention from sketchy science and overt contrivance through its good-natured desire to flat-out entertain. Unfortunately, the filmmakers eventually feel obligated to gravely hammer home such shopworn themes as sacrifice and leadership, which, coupled with a painfully drawn out climax, ends up draining the fun out of the whole goofy endeavor. It’s odd how the film seems to delight in sensationalizing the utter destruction of the Golden Gate Bridge (experienced through some poor, dorky sucker’s POV), but grows horribly somber when a single crew member is dispatched, lingering on the necessary leadership decisions made by Swank’s pilot/commander in order to give her a character arc that has no satisfying payoff. The film’s heart feels not only grafted on, but disingenuous.
THE CORE is currently set for an early November release, which, if properly marketed, could set it up for a sizeable DEEP IMPACT opening amid a sea of largely anemic competition (provided Miramax doesn’t do the smart thing and slot GANGS OF NEW YORK for release here). With some judicious trimming, and a smart marketing push (Paramount would do well to discontinue its ridiculous overkill on bogus, quote-whore blurbs adorning their print ads; nobody’s going to see this on Earl Dittman’s recommendation) it could work as an early holiday season spectacle. Though it isn’t a terribly satisfying night out at the movies as is, it’s hard to root against a film so unapologetically dorky.
Faithfully submitted,
