I am – Hercules!!

Uh oh! If your parents belong to the Parents Television Council, you probably won’t be allowed to watch the best show on TV a whole lot longer.

The organization has deemed “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” the least family-friendly show on network television. (Like UPN is a network! We kid! We kid the United Paramount!) “Friends,” “CSI,” “Boston Public” and “That ‘70s Show” were among the other wildly popular shows ranking among the org’s ill-considered “bottom 10” list.

(Luckily for all you underage fans of Willow, Spike, Xander, Giles, et al, there’s probably only a very very tiny chance your parents belong to this silly group, whose president, Brent Bozell, was the national finance chairman for Pat Buchanan’s extremely angry 1992 presidential campaign.)

Curiously, “Buffy’s” Mutant Enemy sibling “Angel,” which seems every bit as violent and sexually adventurous to Herc’s eyes and ears, did not make the hit list. Perhaps the PTC approved of Angel setting future single-mother Darla ablaze?

What does the PTC find pleasing to its sensitive family-friendly eyes? “Doc” was the group’s fave. You know, that show on the Pax network starring Billy Ray Cyrus. Never heard of the Pax network? Second most family-friendly was sleep-inducing CBS stalwart “Touched By An Angel.” “Baby Bob” and “Reba” made the “10 best” too.

The best family show on TV, “Gilmore Girls,” did not make the family-friendly list, presumably because single mom Lorelei boned Rory’s teacher Max Medina out of wedlock. And boning your kid’s teacher out of wedlock is bad! Bad! And worse if you enjoy it!

The “Best List”:
• 1. Doc
• 2. Touched By An Angel
• 3. Sabrina the Teenage Witch
• 4. 7th Heaven
• 5. Baby Bob
• 6. Smallville
• 7. Reba
• 8. Ponderosa
• 9. George Lopez
• 10. Bernie Mac

The “Worst List”:
• 1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
• 2. Off Centre
• 3. Will & Grace
• 4. Friends
• 5. Smackdown
• 6. Big Brother 2
• 7. CSI
• 8. Temptation Island 2
• 9. That ‘70s Show
• 10. Boston Public

Idiots!

I am also – Hercules!!