UNDERCOVER BROTHER review

From time to time I see a trailer that makes me laugh, then makes me think… This is a trailer movie. A TRAILER MOVIE. I hate those, those are the films that leave you disappointed saying things like, “God, all the funny bits were in the trailer!” “That was nothing like the trailer!” “God I wish the movie had been like the trailer!”

UNDERCOVER BROTHER had a trailer that raised my “It’s a Trailer Movie” flag. I loved the trailer. It made me want to see the movie bad. It had quotable lines, sight gags that killed and quickly drawn character sketches that could be wonderful in a feature length movie, but more often than not wouldn’t.

While my cynical, “It’s a Trailer Movie” flag was waving, I still wanted the movie to deliver what the trailer promised, which was a fun as hell seventies blaxploitation superhero set in the modern day.

I love Blaxploitation films. I love afros, the clothes and THE MUSIC. God, I just love the music of the era. Listening to the work of Isaac Hayes or Curtis Mayfield or Willie Hutch or The O’Jays or Roy Ayers or Joe Simon or The Delfonics or Bodie Chandler or Gordon Parks… There was just a style to it. A feel, a rhythm, a beat, a living pulse that just slipped cool into every room it ever played. That funk that felt like a tongue running over your spine.

Never mind the big swinging dicks of it all. Jim Brown, Jim “Dragon” Kelly, Fred “The Hammer” Williamson, Richard Roundtree, Ron O’Neal, Melvin Van Peebles, Isaac Hayes, Robert Hooks and the others… Playing characters with strong forceful names like BOLT, SLAUGHTER, SHAFT, SUPERFLY, SWEETBACK, BLACK BELT JONES, BLACK CAESAR, NIGGER CHARLEY, TRUCK TURNER and the rest. They were taking derogatory words used for hurt and empowering them for new reasons. Take Fred Williamson in THE LEGEND OF NIGGER CHARLEY. Story of a man finding a pile of gold buying slaves freedom and building a fighting force of powerful black men to free the rest. THAT’S HARDCORE! That isn’t a ‘ha ha’ thing, that’s some serious empowerment filmmaking.

Oh, and there were the women… My god the women that forced generations of mis-raised people to re-examine what sexy, desirable and fuckable was… and at the same time, these women were strong, powerful, badasses that you couldn’t mess with. I’m talking about women like Pam Grier, Tamara Dobson and Jeannie Bell. Mainly I’m talking about Pam Grier… COFFY, SHEBA BABY, FOXY BROWN, THE ARENA, BUCKTOWN and others.

These characters were nothing like the black characters we’d seen in film before. All at once they were screaming that it was sexy, cool and tough to be black, but worth every scraping minute of it. They walked to awesome music, kicked ass to even better beats and loved to songs that made ya swim.

Now, the trailer for UNDERCOVER BROTHER made me hope for a comedy as smartly ridiculous as BLAZING SADDLES or YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN, but tailored for the Blaxploitation genre. (Psssst, that is exactly what the film turned out to be!) That’s what I dreamed of. Reality, I felt at best I was going to get I’M GONNA GET YOU SUCKA, which was fun, but was never a sum of its parts. It was always gags that I loved, but a story I could do with out. It didn’t add anything to the game.

Lastly, I was hoping it wasn’t… A TRAILER MOVIE.

HOLY SHIT! UNDERCOVER BROTHER IS THE FUCKING BOMB! THIS MOVIE KICKS THE SHIT SIDEWAYS AND THROUGH THE CRACKS OF AUSTIN POWERS’ CROOKED FUCKIN’ TEETH!

Ahem.

If you have a weak pubococcygeus muscle then you might just piss yourself laughing during this thing. This movie is gag funny. I don’t just mean there are funny gags, but I mean that it not only got me laughing, but would get me choking on the next laugh as it was coming out only to be interrupted by a pair of other laughs. Both Patch and Saffron (not the chat room one) were in similar spasms. In fact there were moments that caused us to have one of those superhero three-way handclasp rip a tooth out clench and giggle and shits type of laughs.

What I love is this movie was not scared about offending, being politically correct, none of that. Comedy never should. Comedy should be allowed to laugh about any and everything. There are no taboos, ever. Never are. Never should be.

Like George Miller’s classic MAD MAX 2 (aka THE ROAD WARRIOR) it begins with a montage of historical footage and a narration detailing the struggle for equality that the black people of the United States had been struggling to overcome. Leaders like Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, the rise of Muhammad Ali and such. How the 70’s gave birth to a beautiful and powerful sexual and dynamic black image personified by folks like Richard Roundtree’s SHAFT, Pam Grier’s FOXY BROWN, Fred Williamson’s everything. However, this was lost… It dissolved into the Gary Coleman’s and Theo Huxtables and all the uncool whitification and downright embarrassments of the Black people (see Dennis Rodman). It turns out this documentary tells us, this wasn’t just the ravages of time or the natural evolution of culture. This was in fact the calculated work of THE MAN, WHITEY and the many other names this evil goes under to suppress the Black People of the world. They tell us of one last hope, a man that embodies the powerful spirit of the seventies black man… enter UNDERCOVER BROTHER.

That’s the hook, the mythology, the premise we’re asked to go with. Now, not all white people are in on this thing. Just as there are many unsuspecting black folks that have no idea of the struggle between the B.R.O.T.H.E.R.H.O.O.D. and THE MAN. This battle is happening on our streets, in our cities and behind the most secret levels of society that we can even barely imagine.

This isn’t just a parody, this is a funny as hell SUPERHERO MOVIE to boot. This isn’t just spy stuff, this is superhero stuff. I mean right now, give Malcolm D. Lee the reigns of LUKE CAGE: HERO FOR HIRE and let him go!

Oh, have I mentioned that Eddie Griffin is officially a superstar now? Oh yes, this man was not only born for this role, a role I hope to see at least 11 sequels to in the next 6 years. Yes, I loved it that much. As cool as he is as Undercover Brother, you have seen nothing till you see him become Anton Jackson, the whitebread mayo consuming slave of The Man’s corporation and addicted to Penelope Snow. And his soulless Blackman dance was perhaps one of the funniest frigging things I’ve ever seen, I was coughing pieces of lung all over the poor saps in front of me. He made Eddie Murphy’s classic white man dance extinct.

When you see what THE MAN’s plan is, the journey that Undercover Brother goes through to fight it, every scene with Billy Dee Williams, Chris Kattan, Denise Richards, David Chappelle, the oh my god giver to me Aunjanue Ellis as Sistah Girl (Fuck Halle Berry as FOXY BROWN, I want Aunjanue in the role!). Then there is Gary Anthony Williams as Smart Brother… he’s a real discovery, but the surprise. The one that you would never ever expect to knock you on your ass pissing out your nose like a dislodged fireplug is Neil Patrick Harris. Holy sweet sweetback! I couldn’t believe myself. Way to go Neil!

The gimmicks, the mythology created here, the laughs, the characters, the combat and the music all earned big applause. I mean, when you hear what the music is for Kattan vs Griffin, you’re gonna want to stand up and do a Rumplestiltskin! I mean it. I was just cheering and stomping my feet and I think I got halfway to China before I stopped. I never got to see Raquel Welch take on Pam Greir, so watching Denise Richard's fuck-me eyed White She Devil take on the lick her twice... mmmhmmm what a spice Aunjanue Ellis' Sistah Girl get down and at it was a moment to just cheer for. Oh... And James Brown... he's got magic legs. Oh... and Undercover Brother has the best pair of shoes ever! I mean ever. As in, holy shit, sell the children, I wanna pair!

Now admittedly, I love the blaxploitation genre. I’m the guy that was top bidder on a vhs dub of a copy of GOLDEN NEEDLES because it is one of the only Jim Kelly films I’ve never seen and it was a challenge presented to me by the ever elusive and challenging Patch. It was a gauntlet picked up and returned. Muahahaha, I can’t be thwarted when it comes to finding coolness! Speaking of which Joe Don Baker is the bomb in that flick. Sorry, must focus.

I love this film a way I’ve never really loved the Austin Powers movies. You see, Edwardian bullshit and crooked British teeth sex farce humor was never my bag baby. I enjoy the style of those film, and laugh at the audacity of the gags, but I never can shake that at its core, it is just Mike Myers playing like Peter Sellers, only 1/10th as funny. I saw the original Pink Panther films, they were better. At least, I thought so.

But here… I love Blaxploitation. Hell, I loved it ever since I was a child. When I was a little boy I used to trade MARVEL SUPER HERO cards for tv-spot trailers at conventions of 4 types of things. KUNG FU, BLAXPLOITATION, CARTOONS and PANTYHOSE Commercials in 16mm. Hey… I was young, but you have to admit, I was a cool fucking disturbed little boy! Hehehhe! Dad would assemble these trailer reels into what was called HARRY’S TRAILERS. There was also HARRY’S POSTERS… these were Kung Fu and Blaxploitation posters.

Somewhere inside my tiny 3 year old to 8 year old brain was a boy that knew this stuff was cool. Well, I’m 10 times as old as that 3 year old, and I went to that theater tonight and came out screaming to friends in my cel phone in Los Angeles, North Carolina, Seattle and even here in Austin… Screaming at them to go see this movie and lose their fillings laughing. By the way… special message… Dr Hfuhruhurr. RUN SEE THIS MOVIE NOW! IMMEDIATELY!