Harry here, I'm dying to see this... that's all I have to say. To understand, read Quint... slobber slobber...
Ahoy squirts! 'Tis I, everybody's favorite sea chantey-singin' and crusty ol' seaman, Quint, here writing from my makeshift camp in front of the Metropolitan Theater in Austin, TX, waiting for the Wednesday midnight screening of Attack of the Clones with a handful of other huge geeks. The anticipation of this movie is overshadowing every other thing in my life right now. Hours have been spent in the last week rewatching the original trilogy, Phantom Menace, Sci-Fi's Star Wars Fan Films and even playing some of my older Star Wars video and board games with my wonderful girlfriend, Auntie Meat.
The anticipation of this film has been so complete that I've been having trouble writing this review. I saw Lilo & Stitch a few weeks ago, but once Star Wars-mania hit me, I've been putting off all things non-Star Wars. I know it sounds stupid and geeky, but I love being caught up in this excitement. But here I am, in line and typing up this Disney review for you folks...
I love, love, love Lilo & Stitch. Disney has been in quite a bad place recently. The last Disney film that I really enjoyed and feel is up to par with the Disney tradition is The Lion King. Atlantis was a step in the right direction. They took a neat visual style, took away a good amount of the stupid Disney trademark wacky comic relief sidekick shtick and threw the formula that they've been using as a crutch for the last decade out the window. Still, it wasn't much more than a step in the right direction. It's not a classic, just a decent not completely sucky Disney movie.
Lilo & Stitch is destined to be a masterpiece on the same level as other newer Disney flicks like Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid, Aladdin... It has that Disney magic to it. You know the stuff... The way it can be sweet, but not so sweet that it makes you want to puke. The characters are funny, but not stupid and lowest common denominator. The animation is top notch, the voice actors are perfect and the characters are interesting.
What the hell? A good Disney animated feature film? No shit? No shit. The only thing missing from this movie is original Disney musical numbers and I have to say that's a plus. Instead they have all the songs be Elvis songs, which is note-perfect for this film. Stitch is a loner, Dottie. A rebel. Who better to musically narrate a film about a rebel character than The King?
Lilo & Stitch starts out in a very Phantom Menace influenced senate scene where an alien mad scientist gets punished for experimenting with creating this little blue creature that can topple whole worlds and feels only the need to destroy things. This scene is probably the only complaint I can find about the movie... It's just too Star Wars. I half expected Natalie Portman's voice to come out of the mad scientist demanding a vote of no confidence. BUT, after the movie is over you can accept the scene and not think it's too over the top. Once the movie got started I was completely swept up in it.
Stitch rules the earth. I want one! He's very much the character in the first two trailers (Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin trailers) that is just fun as all hell to watch. He's mean, he's calculating, he hungry and he has a wicked sense of humor. I love him. Easily the best character to come out of Disney in God knows how long. Now that doesn't mean he's not going to appeal to the precious, sensitive little kiddies. They're going to eat him up. He's fun to watch and in the end just wants a family of his own.
After a rather cool escape from his captivity at the beginning, he heads out into the universe and lands on Earth, specifically Hawaii. I've always loved Hawaiian culture. I was lucky enough to have traveled to Maui with my parents when I was 10 years old and I guess the place has just stuck with me. I found the stuff involving the little Hawaiian girl, Lilo, and her sister to be terrifically animated and fleshed out. The cultural angle of the movie is well handled as is the character interaction. Lilo and her sister are in a bad situation. Both parents were killed and Lilo's sister was forced with the burden of taking care of her sister when she wasn't prepared for that responsibility.
They are real sisters. They fight, they pull hair, they make-fun, they yell. But they also love each other deeply. The central drama around Lilo and her sister is the ever present threat of having Lilo taken away and put in foster care. Things never seem to go well when the amazingly cool Cobra Bubbles (how cool is that name?!?!?), a huge, bald black dude is around, investigating Lilo's home situation. Cobra Bubbles is voiced perfectly by Ving Rhames. He's also fleshed out and not just the bad guy, which is what he easily could have been. He knows both Lilo and her sister love each other, but he has to do what he feels is best for Lilo, even if it means breaking her heart.
Stitch essentially crash-lands in the middle of all this, sending chaos everywhere and not helping the situation. Stitch finds what he needs in Lilo and vice versa, although it takes a while for Stitch to realize this. He's kinda busy dodging alien police and his creator, who was let loose to fetch Stitch up. Lotsa wacky hijinks ensue, but none feel so far gone that you're left rolling your eyes right out of the theater.
This movie is fun, it's emotional, it's creative, it's beautifully animated. It has everything I want in a Disney movie. If you can't get into the movie, if you feel nothing at all while watching this movie, I feel sorry for you, ya' cold-hearted bastard. I'm not saying everyone's going to love this movie, but you'll be hard pressed not to enjoy the film.
Now if only they could shoot the person who decided to have the A-Teens and Wynona do Elvis covers over the end credits! I mean, they had the originals during the whole movie and it works beautifully, then they go have these hacks vocally murder The King's beautiful songs. Do you really think anybody can sing Hunka-Hunka Burning Love better than Elvis? Nigga please! But at least it's over the end credits and not during the movie. So, it's like listening to an amazing record that plays perfectly and as the last song is fading out it scratches at a pitch to pop your eardrums. You still know it's a great record, you just have to remember to turn it off before it gets to that awful noise pollution.
Alright, squirts. That's 'bout it from this old salt. Parents, big brothers/sisters... Take your kids/siblings to this movie! You'll dig it, they'll love it and everybody will be happy. I mean... the phrase "It's alright. My doggie found the chainsaw." is uttered during the movie! Anyway, this movie has the Seaman Stamp of Approval. Here's hoping Disney doesn't go and fuck up their upswing!
I'll be in line for a couple more days, but I'll be keeping my ears to the tracks for you fine folks. I'll be back shortly with some really cool goodness. 'Til that day, squirts, this is Quint bidding you all a fond farewell and adieu.
-Quint
