Hey folks, Harry here... I remember when I heard they were first contemplating making this, I was filled with dread as I dearly love the GEORGE PAL film. But fine, there was a lot... a great deal that had never been done that was in Wells' original novel. So I got the script, realized they were doing a good job of ignoring the novel... sigh... and that the second he moves into the far future the script began to suck terribly. I had heard there were rewrites, that Spielberg gave extensive notes... and I was hoping for the best. This review seems to echo a great deal of the fears I had when reading the script.... pretty much unchanged and amplified by subpar acting. I really don't want this to suck, but it could be headed there.... Let's hope Dreamworks can pull this one off!
Hey Harry,
A week ago, flyers were being handed out for advance screenings to Brotherhood of the Wolf and Time Machine. Brotherhood, which I saw on Tuesday was pretty damn good, but the Time Machine is one of the worst films I've seen so far this year.
The story, based on H.G. Wells' novel of the same title, follows a scientist named Alexander who is a direct rip off of the AbsentMinded professor character of old. We see him forgetting one thing after another, including his date with his soon-to-be fiance Emma. He meets her, proposes in the park and then the two of them are mugged, with her ending up shot to death. Stricken with grief, he withdraws from the college he is teaching at and develops a time machine. He returns to the night of Emma's death and meets her at the park, instead leading her off to the city, away from the dark recesses of the woods that surround the park. They talk, they laugh, she gets hit and run over by a horse, which verges on looking like a Three Stooges comedy routine. He becomes indignant and wonders why can't he change the past. To solve that, he moves forward in time, first to the 2000's and then to the 800,000's. In the year 800,117, the Moon has been destroyed and pieces of it have hit t! he earth, causing all of civilization to be thrown back to their primitive beginnings. Alexander is awed by this new world and their odd way of life. He discovers they're being hunted by creatures called the Morlocks and, well, I'll say the story ends happily, as to not completely ruin the plot.
Here's why the movie is terrible. First off, the acting. Guy Pierce is an amazing actor, except when he's British and ripping off old characters. His professor shtick at the beginning was painful to watch as it was completely forced and very stiff. Amazingly, though, as all but a few days progress, he becomes a self-assured action hero with no problem remembering anything, nor confronting gigantic monsters.
The plot mechanics. This movie was a test in how to string one obligatory event to another one for two hours. Emma's death seems more like an excuse to get him into the time machine than it does a legitimate loss to Alexander's character. I'm sorry, but two minutes of screen time and grins like idiots does not convince me that they love each other. Naturally, when Alexander goes 800,000 years into the future, no one there speaks English anymore...no one except the most beautiful inhabitant of the village, Samantha Mumba, who speaks English flawlessly, cutely faltering over simple words so as to add realism. Uh-huh. And, much like the movie A Bug's Life, Alexander shows them all that they have the strength within to fight off the Morlock's. The ending, which I won't spoil for you (because, it's such a biggie) is one of the worst examples of forced entry by a character. The finale involves introducing a character for the mere sake of exposition and then killing them off. No! t to mention, the character's make up looks like a bad attempt to duplicate Marylin Manson's onstage appearance.
The settings. Hoo-ah. If ever there were a movie that looked like it was shot at Disneyland, this is it. From the cliff-dwellings of the Non-english speaking people to the interiors of 19th century Britian to the caves of the Morlocks, the entire movie reeks of plastic and balsa wood. I swear I saw parts of Indiana Jones the Ride in there, not to mention the Swiss Family Robinson Tree House Adventure, which served as the entire enclave for the cliff-dwellers.
Overall, this was a mind-numbingly poor execution of what could have been a great story. H.G. Wells doesn't seem to fare too well in the cinema, The Island of Dr. Moreau serving as the other example of how his works are mishandled (although Dr. Moreau is miles above this attempt). It was somewhat depressing seeing Guy Pierce throw himself into such a poor script, but ah well, I guess it was bound time happen some time.
Kurt Hectic
