I am – Hercules!!

How does NBC and “Saturday Night Live” punish rock star Ashlee Simpson for lip-synching a “guide track” “without their knowledge”?? By booking her for a second shot!!

The NFL should give Janet Jackson another shot at the Super Bowl halftime as well. It doesn’t matter which teams are playing – it’ll still end up the most highly rated ballgame in the history of history.

Host tonight is Jon “I’m more than Napoleon Dynamite” Heder, not to be confused with new SNL cast member Bill Hader. Interestingly, somebody wrote to us last June to give us the “scoop” that “Dynamite’s” Heder would be joining SNL. We were never able to confirm that of course.

Here’s something I got Sunday:

Herc,

I don't know that any of this is worthwhile to the readers but I thought you might like to know. I wanted to give you the scoop on how [new cast member Bill] Hader ended up on Saturday Night Live. A guy named Matt Offerman was in sketch comedy group with him called Animals from the Future.

Matt's brother Nick Offerman is married to [one-time SNL host] Megan Mullally. She got Lorne to come out and see one of their shows, the rest is history. For the record, next time one of the trolls says he's only funny because of the writers...that guy writes all of his own stuff and has been for years. The list of impressions he does is endless. He may be the only "comic genius" I will ever meet in my lifetime and as an actor, that's saying a lot. If there is a bright future for SNL, he is at the center.

The rundown for “Saturday Night Live” 31.2-31.4:

Oct. 8:
Host: Jon Heder
Music: Ashlee Simpson

Oct. 22:
Host: Catherine Zeta-Jones
Music: Franz Ferdinand

Oct. 29:
Host: Lance Armstrong
Music: Sheryl Crow

11:30 p.m. Saturday. NBC.

Get this!! “Buffy The Vampire Slayer: The Complete Series,” the best TV series ever produced, WAS available for $239.99 new (or $199.99 used). But NOW you can pre-order all seven seasons brand new, including a never-before-issued 40th bonus disc, for just $129.99!! That’s like all 144 hours for – what? – 90 cents per hour!! A better Christmukkah gift is unimaginable!!!